Did you recently dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore?
I did last night and I woke up feeling disoriented and a bit confused. I miss them but I’m also just not sure what the dream means.
Does it mean anything?
I did some research into dreams and I found out what the experts and top dreamers have to say.
It helped me get a lot of valuable insights into why I dreamed about this person and resolve some of the feelings of missing them and confusion that I’ve been having.
My findings also help explain the possible meaning behind some of my past dreams about family members, romantic connections and friends.
What does it mean when you dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore?
Psychologically speaking, dreams come from your subconscious.
Some people believe they come from God, past lives, higher realms, or other spiritual dimensions.
My mother believes they’re highly influenced by your diet and nighttime digestion. She even says that some foods and eating too close to bedtime can cause nightmares.
I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that spicy taco yesterday!
But when you dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore there are usually a few things it can mean about your life journey.
Here are the most likely meanings of why you dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore.
1) They express your desires
Leading dream interpreters like Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung believed that dreams represent your desires.
If you dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore, it means that you desire them or something about the situation and connection you had with them.
What makes it more confusing is if it’s someone you were never that close to, like a casual work colleague from the past or a random stranger you talked to once on a bus in Paris.
What would you “desire” from them? This is where it’s smart to dig a little deeper.
For example, a couple of weeks ago I dreamed about an old classmate called Colin and a game he and other friends of I used to play where we’d kick around old crushed pop cans.
What “desire” could that possibly represent?
I later realized it represents the desire to return to simpler times and missing childhood.
2) They represent part of you
One of the leading theories of dreams is that the people and even places in them represent parts of your psyche.
“The people in your dreams represent the many different aspects of yourself. When a person pops up in your dream, the first question you want to ask yourself is: “How would I describe this person?”
As Karl notes, often we dream of someone who represents part of ourselves.
If we would describe that person as kind or annoying or inspiring or something else then this generally means that the main quality or emotion they make us have is something we either:
Wish we had more of;
Or have too much of.
Either way, we’re dreaming about a person whose qualities sometimes represent parts of ourselves we feel are either lacking or excessive.
3) They’re a guide for your soul
Sometimes you dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore because they’re a guide for your soul. Do I literally mean that they’re guiding you in some alternate dimension?
Honestly, I don’t know. Life’s had enough surprising experiences for me to stay open…
But, what I do know is that metaphorical or not there is something about this person which is there to help and shepherd you.
Sometimes when people dream about someone who has passed away, for example, they consider that it means that person’s soul or presence is guiding and caring for them. They often report waking up with a renewed sense of peace and clarity.
Other times you dream of an old friend or twin flame that changed your life forever and – as wonky as it might sound to some – you just feel them helping or being there for you in some way.
Is it all brain chemicals? I think it’s more, personal. But either way, it can be a very reassuring and profound experience.
4) There is something you need to resolve with them
Sometimes you dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore because you have unfinished business.
It could be a family member you fought with, an old flame, a friend you lost touch with, or even just a person you treated poorly or unfairly in your daily life or who treated you unfairly.
You dream because you have something you need to resolve with them.
If it’s someone who’s no longer alive, moved far away, blocked you, or not responding to messages then it’s not always possible to actually resolve the issue that’s occurred.
But at the very least, your dream can tell you that your subconscious is processing the events and sadness or confusion in some ways and dealing with whatever it was that happened.
As clinical psychologist, Larry Brooks writes, innovative new practices are looking into how dreams can help address trauma.
“Dream Tending, developed by Stephen Aizenstat, is uniquely applicable to working with trauma. Its approach is consistent with current neuroscience research. It sees the dream image as an embodied image with healing properties,” writes Brooks.
“Dreams express the experience of the body/mind, particularly traumatic experiences that are dissociated. The Dream Tending technique is an intuitive body- sensitive approach not only attentive to activated emotional states in the dreamer, but also to the messages embodied in images,” he adds.
5) There are symbols in the dream that hold clues
Understanding dreams is not always a straightforward process.
They may contain hidden clues in the form of symbols, words, and ritualistic actions.
The Austrian psychologist Sigmund Freud believed that dreams “express the unfulfilled wishes of the dreamer’s daily life.
Freud claimed that dreams contain both “manifest content (what actually shows up in your dream)” as well as “latent content (the deep symbolic meaning of your dream).”
The thing with Freud is he didn’t believe we are able to always face our true desires, so we disguise them in sometimes confusing symbols, events, and words in dreams.
Deciphering what it all means isn’t always easy, and there could be multiple meanings of many things. A lot of Freud’s patients seemed to be middle-aged women who dreamed of sausage markets.
You do the math.
6) They hold a key to healing
Sometimes you dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore because they hold a key to your healing.
Swiss author and psychological pioneer Carl Jung said that dreams often have information into them which can heal and revive us back to mental and emotional health:
“Whilst Freud thought that dreams expressed forbidden wishes that had to be disguised…Jung saw dreams as expressing things openly. He wrote:
‘They do not deceive, they do not lie, they do not distort or disguise … They are invariably seeking to express something that the ego does not know and does not understand.’”
Often this can be something our ego has refused to grapple with but which our unconscious brings to our attention.
It may be a reminder to have more compassion for people, or to be more honest, or to try to patch up our relationship with a family member.
We dream about someone who represents or is one of the keys to healing and getting past our me-first fixation.
“They are pure nature; they show us the unvarnished, natural truth, and are therefore fitted, as nothing else is, to give us back an attitude that accords with our basic human nature when our consciousness has strayed too far from its foundations and run into an impasse,” Jung wrote.
7) The person represents our anxieties or hopes
Dreams can be obscure, but in one way or another, there is usually a reason why you remember some of them and not others.
Scientists say that all of us dream most nights but we just rarely remember dreams.
When we do remember dreams it’s generally because something about them affected us more strongly or because we have learned skills that help us consciously remember dreams.
When you dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore it’s often because they represent your hopes or anxieties more generally.
As a kid, I was big into hockey and often had dreams where I was playing on my team and would score amazing goals and get high fived by one of my friends on the team.
There was my hope to achieve victory and group validation and respect.
I also often dreamed about a girl I had strong feelings for as a teen. The dreams I recall vaguely were of her being dismissive to me about something about my appearance and a sinking feeling.
This represented my anxiety about not being “good enough” to merit her attraction.
8) The person points the way to a crucial upcoming decision
In some cases, you dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore because they are helping point the way to a crucial upcoming decision.
For example, maybe you dreamed of an old college professor giving you an award and then throwing you in a lake the night before deciding whether to take a job as a sales director for a new company.
Their approval of you could represent the confidence you have in your own abilities, but getting thrown in the lake could represent the ice-cold “wake-up call” of starting a new position where you aren’t really sure what to expect.
In most cases, a person who signifies a vital upcoming decision will be somebody who made a big impression on you or affected the course of your life in a memorable way, professionally or personally.
However in rarer cases, it could also be someone you only met in passing or didn’t know well, but whose personality or relation to you holds a clue or hint at the kind of decision that you feel most called to make going forward.
10) Something about your past connection is missing in your current life
It’s important to pay attention to how you feel after you wake up from your dream and in the time after as you think back on it.
What’s the lingering emotion or sense that you have after dreaming of this person?
Sadness, joy, humor, being turned on, disgust, confusion, nostalgia, wonder…something else?
There is a good chance that something about this person and the connection you had to them is lacking in your current life.
You dreamed of them because a deep part of your psyche misses that feeling of being around them and what it was like.
11) The dream charts a path to wholeness
One fascinating way to interpret when you dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore is that the dream charts a path to wholeness.
The person often represents qualities you have too much or too little of, but sometimes your interaction in the dream with them can specifically show a way to “become whole”.
For example, if you dream of an old work buddy who encourages you to work harder and then rides off on a unicorn drinking a Slurpee it could be a sign that the best way forward is to really buckle down to following your passion…
And the result will be you riding off into the sunset to achieve all your dreams and self-fulfillment. But watch out for the Slurpee, because failure to diet could literally sink you…
I like to get multi-layered on this dream analysis stuff, see?
That’s optimistic, but why not…Dreams can be a cause for inspiring optimism, after all!
12) Choose your own dream
There is a fascinating and growing field of dream interpretation called co-creative dream theory.
What it means is essentially that your dream’s meaning or lack of meaning isn’t the most important thing.
It’s not defined.
You wake up and get to choose and co-create what the dream means.
You analyze how your “dream self” acted and responded in the dream and come up with ideas and approaches as to how that could apply to your life or mean many things depending on how you choose to understand it.
The dream’s meaning isn’t fixed, it’s fluid.
Clay for you to work with and sculpt into something useful and helpful in your life.
Which is also a pretty cool theory.
Only in dreams…
In 1963 Roy Orbison sang “In Dreams,” an operatic and sad song about lost love.
“I close my eyes then I drift away
Into the magic night, I softly say
A silent prayer like dreamers do
Then I fall asleep to dream my dreams of you
In dreams I walk with you
In dreams I talk to you
In dreams you’re mine all of the time
We’re together in dreams, in dreams…
Only in dreams
In beautiful dreams…”
It’s natural to think that when we dream of someone we used to talk to a lot or be together with, it is a sign that we still love them or are being given a sign to get in touch with them again.
And sometimes it is.
But other times it’s a sign of our subconscious working out issues within ourselves or exploring part of our personality or inner conflict.
We dream of someone we used to know or be close to because they represent a part of us or our own struggle and life journey.
Other times, of course, it’s both.
Dreams can be beautiful, horrifying, and enchanting. There will always be dreams that remain at least partly a mystery.
But if you dream about someone you don’t talk to anymore you can be sure that something about your relationship with them or how they affected you is resurfacing and may have something important to teach you.