Recently it seems like I am constantly dreaming about my ex.
Even though I haven’t seen him in ages, he’s been appearing in my dreams several nights a week.
I’d heard the old saying that “When you dream about someone, it means they are missing you.”
Super confused about what was going on I decided to get to the bottom of things and find out if dreaming about someone really means they are thinking about you.
What I discovered was that, yes, dreaming about someone might mean they miss you or that you are on their mind.
But our dreams often say a lot more about us and our own deepest thoughts, feelings, fears and desires than anyone else’s.
Read on to find out what dreaming about a person really means, and how to tell if it’s because they are missing you or not.
What does it mean when you dream about a person? Do they miss me? 5 signs to look for
If only knowing what it means to dream about somebody was a simple answer. But the truth is that dreams can be very confusing by their nature.
There are scientific and psychological explanations, as well as more supernatural or spiritual answers. In this article, we’ll look at several.
To understand whether your dream really does mean the other person could be missing you, you will need to try and interpret your dream to dig around for clues.
Here are 5 things to look for:
1) Whether a real event is replaying in your dream
Whilst there are lots of theories, perhaps surprisingly, there still aren’t any concrete answers.
Biologically speaking a lot of circuits in your brain are firing when you’re in REM sleep (the dream state).
Certain areas of the brain which are involved in emotions, sensations, and memories get activated.
Our minds are basically meaning-making machines.
So if you notice that real-life events or situations have been replaying in your dream, which involve another person, this could be your mind’s way of trying to process and make sense of certain things that have happened.
2) If you experience strong emotions during your dream
Sometimes it’s less about the who, what, or where of a dream and more about the feelings and emotions that it brings up for you.
Because dreams are often not literal, it can be useful to look for other clues hidden within the dream that can help you better understand why this particular person may be making an appearance.
And whether it is about them missing you, or perhaps more about you missing them.
How do you feel towards them in the dream?
Do you feel happy or reminiscent about a time that has now passed? Perhaps you are longing to rekindle those times or to simply experience happy moments like that again.
Or do you maybe feel sad, anxious, or angry within your dream towards them?
If you do, you might ask yourself if you have any feelings towards them that could be resurfacing.
If this is someone you have had a romantic relationship with or even a strong friendship that has since ended or drifted apart, it’s perfectly natural to have lingering emotions that can pop up again in our dreams.
Sometimes our dreams are there to reflect and give voice to the things that we are feeling.
You may not even be consciously aware of these emotions — in fact, according to Sigmund Freud’s theory of dreams they often represent what is going on in our deep unconscious.
That may mean that somewhere buried within you has strong feelings or thoughts about this particular person.
3) If you notice spooky coincidences that you can’t explain
So far we’ve looked at more psychological reasons for why someone might appear in your dream.
But plenty of people also believe that dreams are a doorway to a higher self and realm. And in many ancient cultures, dreams have been seen as spiritual signposts.
Science can explain a lot, but new discoveries are constantly pushing the boundaries of what we once would call logical.
Evidence of extrasensory perception (ESP) and being connected in ways we don’t quite understand have been studied with some very interesting findings.
You may have had the experience of thinking about someone and then having them call straight away? And you wouldn’t be alone, as it’s really common.
Is it a coincidence or are you actually picking up on one another’s energy?
Or maybe you’ve intentionally thought about someone, willing them to get in touch, and they do. It’s almost like you telepathically made them miss you.
Well, you might be surprised to discover that a biologist found something called morphic resonance — which is telepathy style connections between organisms along with the ability to share collective memories.
Meaning it’s maybe not such a far-fetched idea after all that you can communicate with others in your dreams.
So if you keep noticing strange clues or coincidences appearing in your life about this person — perhaps it’s a sign from the Universe that they have been thinking about you.
Maybe you keep seeing reminders of this person wherever you go, you unexpectedly bump into them, or they message you after you’ve just dreamt about them.
4) If their appearance in your dream seems totally random
If someone has been in your waking mind a lot and then they appear in your dream that night, it might not seem so strange.
But what does it mean when someone randomly appears in your dream?
If you hadn’t been particularly thinking about them before, maybe you could be psychically picking up on their feelings for you.
In this instance, it might make more sense to assume that the energy could be coming from them rather than you — and it is a sign that they miss you, and you can feel it.
At the end of the day, we are all just a collection of pulsating energy that comes together in physical forms.
And there is plenty of energy around us that we can’t see or touch, but we may still sense in other ways.
How can you tell if it’s them that’s missing you, or you that is thinking of them?
If your dream about them didn’t bring up any strong emotions and appeared to come out of the blue — it may seem like it’s not your emotions or thoughts that have caused the dream.
In this instance, you might believe it’s more likely that they were thinking about you or will make an appearance in your life.
5) If this person could actually represent something else
Because dreams are often not clear cut, we can sometimes find ourselves dreaming about one thing when really the true meaning is far deeper or something different altogether.
Our fears, desires, old traumas, and past hurts can resurface and start to play out whilst we sleep.
According to the Contemporary Theory of Dreaming, this is far from random. Instead, the events that play out are being guided by the emotions of the dreamer.
As professor Ernest Hartmann, the director of the Sleep Disorders Center in Boston explains in Scientific American:
“When one clear-cut emotion is present, dreams are often very simple. Thus people who experience trauma often have a dream something like, “I was on the beach and was swept away by a tidal wave.” This case is paradigmatic. It is obvious that the dreamer is not dreaming about the actual traumatic event, but is instead picturing the emotion, “I am terrified. I am overwhelmed.” When the emotional state is less clear, or when there are several emotions or concerns at once, the dream becomes more complicated.”
Interpreting your dream, rather than seeing it at face value might reveal some hidden meanings that you had not considered before.
What does it mean if you dream about someone repeatedly?
If, like me, you’ve been dreaming a lot about the same person you might be wondering why. It can even be quite unpleasant dreaming about someone over and over again, when you would rather just forget them.
I certainly wish it was as easy to block my ex from my dreams as it was to block him on my phone. But apparently, recurring dreams are quite common, with two-thirds of us experiencing them.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. John Mayer, the mind is just trying to figure some things out:
“The model of the mind is very true to the idea of a computer. When we go to sleep, that little computer will keep churning. The dreams are usually not exactly the same each time, but the recurring theme is usually something in your head that is somehow unresolved. It just keeps repeating over and over again in that computer.”
If you are experiencing recurring dreams about someone, maybe they are on your mind a lot or have been an important part of your life.
You could have some unfinished business with this person which your mind is trying to figure out.
Is it true that when you dream about someone they dream about you?
The potentially surprising answer to this question is maybe.
As unlikely as it may sound, there are scientifically noted examples of people who shared the same dream.
The best-recorded examples have been between professionally trained therapists and their clients, who shared the same dream around the same time.
More anetodatly, plenty of people have experienced dreaming of someone only to find out you also featured in their dream too.
Whilst it’s difficult to say what is really going on, it does at least make it possible that when you dream about someone they may dream about you.
In fact, there are several reasons why sharing dreams could be more plausible than you might think.
What does it mean when you keep dreaming about someone you don’t talk to anymore?
As we’ve already said, because many of our dreams come from our unconscious, there are lots of reasons why you might dream of someone, even if they are no longer in your life.
It could be a secret desire that you still hold towards them, something you miss about the connection you once had or something unresolved between you.
If you’re curious to understand exactly what it means to dream about someone who you don’t see anymore, I’d also recommend checking out this article.
Bottom line: How do you know if dreaming about someone means they are missing you?
Hopefully, this article has given you some ideas on how to look for signs and dig around into your own psyche.
As much as we all probably wish we could peer into each other’s heads to get a better idea of what is going on, the only way of truly knowing if someone misses you is always asking them.
If you share or once shared a strong connection with this person, then they may miss you or also dream of you from time to time too.
But does dreaming about my ex mean they are thinking about me? I think perhaps I was looking for psychic signs my ex misses me.
Ultimately what I’ve realized is that it’s probably best to focus on what dreaming of my ex means to me, rather than try to figure out if it means anything to him.
After all, I’m only responsible for understanding my own thoughts and feelings and no one else’s.