“I had a dream my boyfriend cheated on me” (What this really means)

Wtf?! Your guy did the dirty on you during the night.

Ok, it was just a dream (or more like a nightmare), but dreaming your boyfriend cheated on you is enough to make anyone wake up in a total funk.

But what does it all mean? Could it be some psychic sense that you’re picking up on or is it just a bad dream?

In this article, we’ll cover exactly what dreams of being cheated on mean.

Why did I dream that my boyfriend cheated?

First things first, don’t panic. Dreaming that your boyfriend cheated on you definitely does not mean he has.

Luckily, cheating dreams rarely have anything to do with unfaithfulness, and usually represent something else entirely.

We tend to have several dreams every night that each last anywhere from five to twenty minutes. Most of which we usually forget.

The ones that spark a strong emotion in us are more likely to stick, like dreaming your guy was with someone else.

If you’ve dreamt about your boyfriend cheating, you may also be relieved to hear it’s a pretty common dream to have.

In fact, as many as one in five women have recurring dreams about their partner cheating on them.

It’s totally normal for our love interests to pop up in our sleep, with a recent study showing that romantic partners make an appearance in around 20% of dreams.

But what is the hidden meaning of your dream?

How to interpret your dream of being cheated on

Figuring out your dreams isn’t always straightforward because of the many potential meanings, which can sometimes overlap.

Ultimately your dream is unique to you and your circumstances, so it can help to go a little Sigmund Freud on yourself.

If you’re still struggling to get to the bottom of your dream, then ask yourself:

• What feelings came up for you within the dream?

Feelings are the most important factor and often the root cause for the dream.

• What events in real life have given you a similar feeling recently?

When you follow the feeling you may identify other things in your life that have been creating a similar emotion.

• What does “cheating” mean to you?

Is it trust, betrayal, rejection, etc.? Figuring out what cheating is symbolic of to you will give you clues about the emotions you are feeling and can help identify what is causing them.

• Did your boyfriend seem familiar in the dream or was he behaving strangely?

Ok, other than cheating on you (which is obviously strange) did your boyfriend seem his usual self? If not, could your boyfriend represent someone else entirely?

What does it mean to dream you are getting cheated on? 11 explanations

1) You’re betraying yourself

Dreams are usually symbolic rather than literal. At their heart, cheating dreams bring with them a sense of betrayal for many people.

In your dream, this betrayal comes from someone close to you and who you care deeply about. But this might be a symbol of self-betrayal.

If you dream your S.O. is letting you down, it might be because you feel as though you are letting yourself down somehow in life.

Perhaps you don’t believe in yourself or your talents, maybe you are letting your gifts go to waste or are afraid to go after what you truly want and deserve.

According to author and dream expert Theresa Cheung:

“A dream is a hall of mirrors. It’s an aspect of yourself, you’re cheating with yourself in a way. It [is] the dreaming mind just trying to show you that there’s more to you to discover.”

2) You’ve been cheated on before

Anyone who has ever been cheated on will tell you that it can shake your confidence and self-esteem. It can also leave you with some unresolved trust issues.

The wounds from old romances can leave a scar that is carried into present relationships. Your dreams about cheating can be your mind’s way of trying to work things through.

Qualified therapist and specialist in dream analysis, Delphi Ellis says

“I’m often approached by people who have dreamt their partner is cheating and are worried their subconscious is trying to communicate this to them. Whilst it’s fair to say we receive messages from our subconscious on many levels, this dream usually suggests a fear a partner will cheat, rather than evidence they’re actually doing that. This is particularly the case where someone has been unfaithful in the past in real life, reflecting an insecurity it could happen again.”

It’s important to remind yourself that dreams are not fortune-telling. They reflect something going on psychologically.

If you have been feeling insecure in your relationship, you should talk to your boyfriend about your fears to put your mind at rest.

3) Get confirmation from a gifted advisor

Have you reached the end of your rope about your boyfriend cheating in your dreams?

I was in the same place last year. I was so paranoid that my partner was cheating on me.

I’d always been curious about speaking to a psychic, so I decided to go for it. 

The first place I tried was garbage and had nothing to offer, but I kept looking. 

That’s when I found Psychic Source.

It was completely different, and the gifted spiritual advisor there really helped me understand the real meaning of my dreams.

I was blown away by how kind, understanding, and genuinely helpful they were. 

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They are incredibly knowledgeable about dream interpretations. Most importantly, they can also empower you to make the right decisions when it comes to love.

4) Things are going well in your relationship

What is particularly surprising for people who dream that their boyfriend is cheating on them is that this type of dream is most common when the relationship is going well.

If that sounds a little nonsensical, it’s actually more logical than it first seems.

The happier we are, the more fearful we can become of losing that. In fact, the worst anxiety can come when things are actually going well for you.

When things are great between you and your BF you might start to panic about what could go wrong.

According to clinical psychologist and author of Joy From Fear, Carla Marie Manly:

“Anxiety can be a bit tricky, as it’s a primitive response that’s hard-wired into the brain. The brain’s fear circuit works very quickly, and it doesn’t always pause to differentiate between good anxiety and bad.”

That’s when these anxieties start to play out in your dream.

So, if you’ve been feeling particularly loved up lately, take it as a good sign rather than anything foreboding on the horizon.

It’s a reflection of how important this guy really is to you.

5) You feel like something is coming between you and your boyfriend

Dreams can be cryptic, and require some reading between the lines.

That’s why your dream about your cheating boyfriend might not be to do with infidelity at all.

Instead, the person he is “cheating on you with” could be a representation of some type of third wheel that you feel is coming in between you two.

This could be anything from his family, to his best friend, a hobby, or his job. It could basically be anything you wish he spent less time doing.

If he’s been wrapped up in other things lately, you could be feeling a little left out. You feel like someone or something is getting more of his energy and attention than you are.

6) You’re feeling insecure

Dreams about cheating at their core are anxiety dreams. These types of dreams represent our own insecurities in some way.

Has something happened recently in your life that has left you feeling insecure or shaken your confidence?

Perhaps you failed your driving test, you were overlooked for a promotion, you gained a little bit of lockdown weight that left you feeling insecure about your appearance.

Those insecurities may be coming from inside your relationship too. Maybe your boyfriend said or did something recently that left you feeling a little rejected.

We all feel insecure from time to time. If you’re feeling insecure in your relationship, talking about it with your boyfriend can help.

If it’s something outside of the relationship that’s making you feel this way, then try to find a way to give yourself a little self-esteem boost.

When I was going through my own struggles with having low self-esteem I reached out to Psychic Source.

Like I said earlier, the gifted spiritual advisor there really helped me see things in a whole new way. 

Tackling your own issues and insecurities isn’t fun, but it didn’t faze the psychic I spoke to at all. 

They can help you in text chat, a call or a video call and it costs much less than you might think. 

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7) You’re feeling neglected by your boyfriend

A dream about your boyfriend cheating can be a reflection that you feel like he hasn’t been paying you as much attention recently, or is taking you for granted.

His attention being elsewhere in the dream represents you feeling like his attention has drifted from you in real life.

You may be feeling ignored, neglected, or generally unsupported by your man. Perhaps you feel like you are always trying but failing to get more of his attention.

Whatever has left him preoccupied has left you craving the spotlight.

8) You’re projecting your own history of cheating

Our dreams are always really about us and not other people. Sometimes the things we are paranoid others will do to us are the things we are guilty of.

If you have been unfaithful yourself in the past with partners, your dream may actually be less about your boyfriend and more about your own sense of guilt.

In this case, playing out scenarios where you are being cheated on is a reflection of your own anxieties.

You could be feeling bad about going behind someone’s back.

9) You’re jealous

Plenty of us are prone to having the little green eyed monster pop up from time to time, or maybe you already know you are the jealous type.

Jealousy can appear because of your own insecurities, fear of abandonment, or possessiveness over your partner.

You can also find yourself getting jealous after something specifically your boyfriend has said or done too.

Maybe he’s a flirt, maybe he’s still friends with his ex, or maybe he has mentioned the new girl at the office one too many times.

It’s not always physical cheating you might be worried about, you might feel like you are being emotionally cheated on somehow (even if you are not).

Although they’re not always, dreams can sometimes be more literal.

So if you’ve been feeling annoyed by your partner’s inappropriate behaviour, this might be playing out whilst you sleep.

10) You’re feeling betrayed by something your boyfriend did

If cheating to you symbolizes the breaking of trust, then dreaming that your boyfriend has cheated on you may reflect a general feeling of betrayal.

Rather than a physical betrayal, he could have done something that has left you feeling resentful or holding some kind of anger towards him.

Is there something he said or did lately that left you feeling abandoned or unsupported?

Maybe he took someone else’s side in an argument or he didn’t show up for you when you needed him.

This might have left you seething below the surface which has turned him into a villain in your dreams.

11) You’re worried he really is cheating on you

Even though the most likely interpretation of your dream is symbolic, it’s always worth considering whether you are harboring fears of infidelity in your relationship.

Our subconscious brain is forever working things out behind the scenes, processing lots of data that doesn’t always make it to our conscious mind.

That’s why some people have an intuitive knowing their other half is playing around that turns out to be true. They were actually picking up on subtle signs a partner is cheating. Our gut feelings can be incredibly powerful.

If you’ve been having suspicions in waking life, dreaming about it too doesn’t mean it is true, but it does show it’s on your mind.

However, If your boyfriend has a history of cheating and you’ve been having doubts for a while now, it’s time to pay attention.

Your subconscious mind could be trying to alert you to the red flags it has picked up on, that you could have been ignoring.

Who does your boyfriend cheat on you with in your dream?

Depending on who else features in your dream, it can greatly impact the meaning of your dream.

That’s why it’s a good idea to consider different dream interpretations based on who your boyfriend is cheating on you with in the dream.

1) If your boyfriend cheats in your dream with someone you’re close to

Maybe you had a dream that your boyfriend cheated on you with your mom — talk about worst nightmare. Or maybe your boyfriend betrayed you with someone else you hold dear in your life.

This type of dream ramps up the anxiety and emotional intensity of the dream. It can symbolize the ultimate betrayal.

It can also be more cryptic than that. If your boyfriend does not get along with the person you dream they have cheated on you with, it can actually represent your desire for them to be closer and get along better.

The person with who your boyfriend cheats can also symbolize something you admire, or they may have something you want.

2) If your boyfriend cheats in your dream with a stranger

If the person your boyfriend cheats on you with is unfamiliar to you, then it’s more likely they are a representation of something that is currently getting his attention.

Far from being another romantic interest, that could be his work, his friends, or even his fantasy football league.

3) If your boyfriend cheats in your dream with someone else you know in real life

If your dream about a cheating boyfriend features someone else you know, then the boyfriend cheating part could be a complete red herring.

The chances are it probably has nothing to do with your boyfriend and everything to do with this other person.

Ask yourself whether you are feeling envious of this person.

Perhaps they have a quality that you wish you had, or they have something you want. There may be something about this person that makes you feel lacking in some way.

4) If your boyfriend cheats in your dream with his ex

It probably won’t come as much of a surprise that dreaming your boyfriend cheated with his ex is usually a reflection of jealousy.

You may be feeling insecure in your own relationship, or you might be jealous of his ex.

Perhaps there is something you feel like his ex has over you that you cannot compete with.

How to stop having dreams about your boyfriend cheating

Even when we know it’s just a dream, that doesn’t make it any less distressing.

Having a bad dream about your partner can have genuine consequences in your waking life.

Research done at the University of Maryland concluded that dreams about cheating, jealousy, and other bad relationship behavior were associated with greater relationship conflict and reduced intimacy in the following days.

We don’t always realize the big impact a bad dream can have on our lives. That’s why getting to the bottom of it can make all the difference.

I’ve been in your position before, and there was one thing that helped me finally understand the feelings I was experiencing – the free Love and Intimacy video by the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê.

Rudá doesn’t smooth things over, he gets real, and he digs deep into the relationship you have with yourself and how it impacts the relationships you have with others.

So if you’re ready to finally overcome these dreams and get to the root cause of what’s bothering you in your relationship, check out his incredible free video here.

Dreaming of cheating on your partner

What if you are the one cheating in your dream on your boyfriend? Don’t worry you’re most certainly not a bad person, and it’s probably not a big deal at all.

Just like dreams about your boyfriend cheating on you, this is another very common occurrence.

In fact, almost 60 percent of us have had a dream about cheating on our partner.

Dreams about cheating on your guy often suggest some sort of guilt you may be feeling, or that you feel like you’ve compromised your beliefs or values in some way.

What it means if you dream you’re cheating on your boyfriend

• You’re feeling guilty about something

Because most of us see cheating as a bad thing, if you are the one doing it, it carries symbolic energy of guilt and shame with it.

That’s why dreaming you’ve cheated on your S.O. is often to do with these emotions.

Deep down, you might be feeling bad about something you have done, or haven’t done in your relationship.

Perhaps you feel like you’ve been neglecting your boyfriend a bit recently in favor of work, friends, or other things you’ve put more energy into. This is especially likely to be the case if in your dream you are cheating with a stranger.

Dreaming you’ve cheated is your unconscious mind letting you know you should find more balance.

If you’ve cheated in the past on a previous partner, you may still be carrying around bad feelings that you haven’t yet processed.

• You’re missing passion in your relationship

If your cheating dream was hot and steamy, and your dream self was having a grand old time, it could be that you’re missing passion in your current relationship.

That’s totally normal, especially once you’ve left the honeymoon phase. Sparks will naturally fade over time.

If you feel like your sex life has been lacking recently, this could be a reflection of that.

Going elsewhere in your dream could be a clue that you feel something is missing either physically or emotionally between you and your boyfriend.

• You feel like you’ve let yourself down

Infidelity is a betrayal of trust, but cheating dreams do not mean that betrayal is towards your boyfriend, it could be yourself you’re letting down.

Maybe you had big plans for a project, but you haven’t made a start. Perhaps you hoped you’d be further along in your career by now. Or despite telling yourself you would finally start your own business, you’re still stuck in a 9-5 that you hate.

Dreaming about cheating can symbolize the goals and aspirations left unfulfilled in your life.

Rather than specific plans you are yet to follow through on, it can also be a general feeling that you’ve compromised on your principles of beliefs in some way. You may feel like you are not living authentically.

• You feel like you’re cheating at something else in life

Did you decide that this year you were going to go on a health kick, but haven’t made it to the gym in over a month?

Maybe your diet has had one too many “cheat days” lately or your attempts at Dry January ended up being far wetter than you anticipated thanks to quite a few glasses of wine.

If you’ve been feeling guilty about any failed attempts to stick to something in your life, this can manifest in dreams of cheating on your partner.

• You have a harmless crush

Sometimes it’s not always so complicated, and dreaming about cheating can just show that you think someone else is pretty cute.

If you recognize the person in your dream, you may just have a bit of a crush on them.

It’s not always something we are even conscious of. You may be drawn to certain aspects of someone’s personality, without necessarily identifying it as a full-on crush.

You’re only human, and you don’t stop finding other people attractive just because you’re in a relationship.

• You want out of your relationship

How you feel in your dream leaves you the biggest clues to what the dream really means.

If you were caught cheating by your boyfriend in the dream, or being with someone else in your dream gave you a strong sense of relief then you may be unhappy in your current relationship.

If having sex with someone else left you feeling great, rather than guilty or remorseful it can be useful to ask yourself if there are certain problems with your boyfriend that you have been hiding from.

Could you want out of the relationship and are looking for an escape?

• You’re healing from a past relationship

Maybe you had a dream you cheated on your boyfriend with an ex.

Unless you already know that you want to get back together, then it’s not your brain’s way of telling you that you want to be with them.

We all carry a certain amount of baggage from previous relationships. Even if you think you’ve healed, in reality, the process can be a long one.

That means dreaming about exes may symbolize things you have experienced in the past that you are still dealing with.

That might be infidelity, some other sort of betrayal, abuse, or painful experiences.

Should I tell my boyfriend about my cheating dream?

Whether you were the one who was cheated on by your boyfriend in your dream, or you were the one doing the cheating, you might wonder whether it’s a good idea to tell your partner.

That may depend on the emotions your dream brought up for you, and the conclusions you have reached about its meaning.

The vast majority of cheating dreams are completely innocent and very common. If it doesn’t feel like a big deal to you, and you were just curious to learn what it all meant, then there’s no need to say anything at all.

If you were doing the cheating in your dream you may even wake up feeling guilty. But it’s important to remember you have done absolutely nothing wrong.

If the dream brought up underlying issues, that is when you will want to talk to your boyfriend about it all.