The pain of a breakup can be unbearable. The mere thought of your ex girlfriend could make you nervous, sad, and anxious.
But worry not: if you are willing to put in the hard work, you can find success in reclaiming your relationship with her (even if she’s moved on).
However frustrating or difficult your situation might seem at first, remember that this is not a lost battle and there are many things that you can do in order to win her back.
You just have to follow some simple steps. Here are 25 of them:
1) Reach out to her and apologize
You and this girl didn’t break up for no reason.
Be honest: Was it because of something that you did?
If yes, then you should apologize and be sincere.
But, before you do that, also make sure that you’re truly sorry. Make sure that you understand why what you did was wrong or why your actions hurt her.
Only then can you truly open up your heart, and only when you’re ready to do that, will you be able to apologize properly.
Also, don’t expect her to forgive you right away. In fact, you shouldn’t expect anything in return.
Just try to be honest, humble, and sincere.
2) Openly talk to her about what happened
Look: even if your ex girlfriend has moved on, this doesn’t mean that she truly understood what happened between the two of you.
For her, your breakup might still be unresolved.
If so, you might be in luck! Why?
Because you can take your situation as an opportunity to tell your ex girlfriend your part of the story.
Now that some time has passed and you two have had enough of it to process your feelings, you should be able to talk about what happened and how you feel about everything that’s happened.
So, if she agrees to talk to you, you should be able to come up with a real, honest, and mature conversation.
As long as you are sincere and honest in how you express yourself and your feelings, she will most likely be able to understand you and decide what to do next.
3) Follow advice specific to your situation
While the tips in this article will help you get your ex girlfriend back, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like getting an ex back who’s moved on. They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago. After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.
In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice to get her back.
4) Make her remember the good times
Want to know a secret?
Bringing back good memories can have a positive impact on someone’s mood and mindset.
For instance, if you and this girl broke up and you want to win her back, then your mission should be to make her remember how great things were between the two of you.
Do you remember when you two used to laugh, hug, and kiss?
If yes, then bring up these memories when you can. But don’t do it too much – overusing this technique might come off as fake or desperate too fast.
Instead, try to use it sparingly – just enough to make her remember how great things were between the two of you before something went terribly wrong.
5) Show her that you’ve really changed
Here’s another way to get your ex girlfriend back:
Show her that you’re not the man you used to be, especially when it comes to your defects.
Well, if your ex girlfriend broke up with you because you didn’t keep your promises, then there’s a good chance that she might want to get back together with you if you show her that you’re a man of your word now.
For this to happen, you can promise her things without her asking and surprise her when you actually do what you say. Based on your past together, she won’t expect it!
The element of surprise is always a good one in such situations.
6) Spark a little jealousy in her
Although this point might sound counterintuitive to you, hear me out!
People are built to want things or people they can’t have. This can turn into a good thing because it can work to your advantage.
So, if you’re feeling a little adventurous, try this “jealousy” text:
– “I think it was a great idea that we decided to start dating other people. I do just want to be friends right now!” –
Jealousy is a powerful thing; use it to your advantage. But use it wisely.
By sending your ex girlfriend this text, you’re communicating to her that you’re actually wanted by other women. We’re all attracted to people wanted by others.
By saying that you’re dating again, you’re pretty much saying that “it’s your loss!”
After sending this text, she’ll begin to feel attraction for you again because of a “fear of loss”.
I learned from Brad Browning, hands down my favorite “get your ex back” online coach.
Here’s a link to his free online video. In this video, he gives a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately to get your ex girlfriend back.
7) Offer your help with something
Your ex girlfriend is perfectly capable of taking her of herself, you know.
But like in any relationship, you can help one another. Perhaps she has a problem that she just can’t seem to get done.
So, offer your help!
However, keep this in mind:
Your goal here is to do something altruistic for her without the intent of getting anything in return.
That’s how you can show that you’re a changed man. And if she learns to appreciate your efforts, then she might just want to get back together with you (even if she’s moved on).
8) Send her thoughtful gifts
Who doesn’t like to get gifts?
If you want her to think about you, then sending her something thoughtful is a good way to do it.
You don’t have to buy her something expensive, but rather something that shows you know what she likes.
You can buy her donuts or get her a book she was looking forward to reading.
Just show her that you listen and that you’re aware of her needs.
In case you don’t know her current preferences, you can choose a gift with a meaning that’s not necessarily practical.
The point is that when she opens such a gift and finds something in it that’s special to her, you can be sure that she will smile and think of you.
A little bit of sentimentality works in your favor here.
9) Try to seduce her as you did before
Since you’re longing for your ex girlfriend and are also still in pain, you might not feel as confident as before.
However, you have to try your best!
Seducing her will not be as easy as it was the first time. But, if you did it once, you can do it again!
Here are a few common seduction techniques to get you started:
- Pay her compliments;
- Give her a sexy look;
- Flirt with her and charm her.
The point is to have fun and make things feel more natural again.
Do you see each other or only communicate by text?
In case you don’t see each other face to face, you can still seduce her.
- You can still pay her compliments;
- You can still say something funny or cute so that she smiles and thinks about you;
- You can still flirt with her, just not in an overtly sexual way.
10) Give her your attention, but not all of it
There’s a fine line between giving someone attention and suffocating them.
Your ex girlfriend is already used to spending more time alone than she did when you two were together.
So, she doesn’t need you to come back into her life and change that.
She probably didn’t move on as easily as you think she did. In fact, she might still think about you every once in a while.
That’s why, if you can be a little bit more attentive to her than before, she’ll appreciate it. But not too much: don’t text her 20 times a day.
Just pay her a few compliments here and there on social media or when you see each other. Then, leave it at that (for now, anyway)!
Earlier, I mentioned relationship expert Brad Browning.
He specializes in helping people reconnect with their exes and guides them into creating healthier and happier relationships.
He’s helped thousands of couples get back together, so if you want the chance to do the same, start today by clicking here to watch his incredible free video.
11) Learn how to communicate effectively
Communication is the key to every relationship. It’s also the key to winning your ex girlfriend back.
Given that you two were in a relationship before, communication should be second nature to you. However, if it isn’t, now is a good time to learn how to do it better.
There are many communication techniques out there, but here are a few basics that you can employ:
- Listen more than you talk;
- Pay attention to what she says;
- Express your thoughts clearly;
- Express your feelings as best as you can;
- Don’t use negative words, such as “never” or “always.”
There are also some bad habits that you should try to eliminate – especially if they caused the breakup in the first place:
- Don’t argue or get defensive;
- Don’t raise your voice;
- Don’t be aggressive or hostile;
- Don’t try to blame the other person;
- Don’t interrupt the other person when he/she is speaking.
12) Do your best to look good and smell good
Every woman appreciates a nicely groomed man who smells good. Your ex girlfriend is definitely no exception.
So, make sure you are presentable. Is it difficult to do that? No, not really.
You can simply keep yourself clean and groomed at all times. Plus, remember – perfume doesn’t cost a fortune.
If you happen to run into her and you smell nice, she’ll be more likely to notice and pay attention to you.
I want to share a trick with you: To bring back memories full of lust and desire, wear the same perfume you used to wear when you seduced her.
Unknowingly, her brain will associate the scent with good feelings, which is bound to make you attractive.
13) Don’t do anything that may come off as desperate
Look: desperate men are a total turn-off!
Why? Because they come off as needy and weak.
This is something you don’t want to be – especially considering that you are in need of a girl that might not necessarily be interested in you anymore.
Be strong, have confidence, and be the one to lead the way. That way, she won’t feel like she has to try even harder for you.
And when she sees how strong and confident you are, she will eventually want you back.
That’s why it’s not a good idea to overdo your attempts to win her back.
14) Make sure your behavior is consistent
Regardless of whether inconsistency was a problem in your relationship or not, it’s a way to get her back into your life.
When you are consistent, your ex girlfriend will know that she can always count on you.
Also, if you’re consistent, she’ll be more likely to believe that you’ve changed.
In case your behavior is inconsistent, this will make it harder for her to trust that you’ve changed.
Consistency also means stability. So, ask yourself this:
Does she need stability in her life? Of course, she does!
So, if you want your ex girlfriend to be able to count on you again and to know that she doesn’t have to go through another breakup, then consistency is your friend.
There’s one more thing that constant behavior can give you: it can make her feel more comfortable. And when she feels comfortable around you, things are bound to get easier.
15) Don’t rush her into anything
You want to get your ex girlfriend back now. I get it.
But the brutal truth is that you can’t have her now.
On top of that, if you truly want her back, it’s advisable not to rush her into anything.
Putting pressure on your ex girlfriend will only make her feel more uncomfortable around you. In turn, this will make it more difficult for her to want to be with you.
So, when you’re trying to win your ex girlfriend back, take your time. There’s no need to rush things – especially if she’s moved on.
16) Think of a grand gesture and do it
One of the best ways to get your ex girlfriend back is by thinking of a grand gesture and putting it into practice.
Your goal here is to make her feel special.
So, your gesture needs to be something that no one else would or could do for her.
If your gesture is grand enough, she will want to go on a date with you just to see what you have in store for her next.
For example, you can record yourself singing a love song that she likes or a love song that expresses exactly what you feel.
How is this a grand gesture?
Wait, I’m not done yet!
… and then, post it on your social media and tag her.
While there’s no guarantee that it will work for her, this example has everything it takes to impress her:
- It means you’re risking your image;
- It means you’re not afraid to show your feelings;
- It means you’re serious about her;
- It means you’re truly sorry;
- You can count on other people’s support.
17) Take care of yourself and build up your confidence
Want to know another way to get your ex girlfriend back?
Take care of yourself and build up your confidence.
These are two very important factors in getting a woman back – especially if she’s moved on.
Women like confident men. And if you’re not confident, then you can rebuild it.
In case your confidence is low, here are a few things you can do:
- Improve your appearance;
- Make sure you’re healthy;
- Get rid of toxic people in your life;
- Make yourself as comfortable as you can;
- Be consistent with your actions and words;
- Become more social and friendly.
18) Always keep your promises
Your ex girlfriend might have lost trust in you, which is why she broke up with you.
Now, if you want to get her back, you must make sure that she can trust you again.
- Do what you say you are going to do;
- Keep your promises;
- Do not be a hypocrite and don’t blame others for your mistakes.
By doing so, you can slowly rebuild trust.
Naturally, you’ll also have to create opportunities to make promises to her. Otherwise, you can’t really prove your point.
Waiting for the right time is not an option for you (unless you’re willing to wait for a long time), so you might as well do something about it.
You can start with insignificant promises, such as sending her that link to the movie you were recommending. And continue with important promises, such as to wake her up before an important meeting.
19) Come up with solutions for the problems you used to have
Let’s say that you’ve got your ex girlfriend’s attention and now she’s asking you tough questions, like:
How would you solve that problem? How can you be sure you’ll react differently?
In case you’re as clueless as you were when you two were together, it’s obvious that she won’t take you back.
You’ll have to come up with a plan or come up with solid arguments that things won’t be the same.
Besides that, you’ll also have to be very convincing. In other words, you have to believe that what you’re saying to her is true.
If you can’t figure it out, you can always ask someone like a family member or a friend to help you. They will give you the best advice they have to offer and help you come up with solutions.
20) Show her the real you
Show your ex girlfriend that you’re done acting and you mean what you’re saying.
You can do this by showing some emotional vulnerability.
If you’re the type who’s good at hiding your feelings, this will take some effort on your part.
Remember that vulnerability is not weakness. It’s just a different way of being.
You can show your vulnerability by telling her about what you’re going through. You can also tell her how nice it feels when she listens to you; or that you’re grateful for her time.
What’s more, being vulnerable will make it easier for her to trust you.
So, don’t hesitate to open up to her and reveal your true self.
21) Make her picture a future with you in her life
Psychologically speaking, if you paint the right image in your ex girlfriend’s mind, she might come back to you.
To be more precise, you’ll have to think about a wonderful future together with her. However, you can’t use your creativity too much.
The future you have to think about must be realistic. For example, if she wants to get married and have kids, you can build around that.
Or, if she wants to see the world, you can use that information in your favor. This will make your future seem more realistic and doable.
Of course, you can’t predict the future, but you can use what you know about her to create a compelling picture.
In order to get your ex girlfriend back, you must paint that picture first. And then convince her to live it with you.
22) Reassure her that your intentions are good
Reassurance is a great tool for getting your ex girlfriend back.
Why? When you reassure someone of something, they feel better about it. And since they’re already feeling better, they might be more likely to believe your intentions.
The same can happen with her: if you take the time to reassure her of various aspects when she needs it the most, you’ll lessen her stress and anxiety.
- Reassure her about the future with you;
- Reassure her about your feelings for her;
- Reassure her about your consistency;
- Reassure her that she won’t get hurt again;
- Reassure her of your capabilities and resources as an individual, or as a couple.
23) Try to make her fall in love with the new you
Rather than trying to continue your relationship with this girl, you could try a fresh start.
Don’t rely on the fact that she knows you. Maybe she knows a part of you, but she doesn’t know who you’ve become.
So, chances are you’ll have to show her your amazing self again. Also, make sure to include your newly acquired qualities, such as:
- Your perseverance;
- Your ability to take responsibility;
- How strong your character has become.
The more of these qualities you’ll show her, the better your chances are to get her back.
24) Contact her even if she doesn’t contact you
When you’re in love with someone, you always want to hear from them no matter what.
But, what will you do if that person doesn’t contact you?
Can’t wait anymore? Then there’s only one thing left to do: contact her.
If you think about it, there’s really no point in waiting for her to take initiative or contact you first just because you were the one who contacted her last time.
These are games that you don’t have to play with her.
However, make sure you’re not too pushy with your calls or messages.
25) Use affirmations to attract your ex girlfriend back into your life
What are affirmations?
Affirmations are positive statements that you can repeat to yourself to make them happen.
Yes, you can use affirmations to attract your ex back. And yes, they will probably work if you practice them in a proper way.
So, start by writing down 10 positive statements that you can repeat to yourself every morning and every evening for as long as necessary.
She’ll be running back into your arms before you know it!
Confused about what to do next?
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It may tell you exactly what you need to know.