You’ve broken up with the love of your life and all you can think about is how to get them back.
Let’s be honest, it’s a painful, crappy situation to be in.
Despair, hopelessness, and a broken heart can make you feel like you’ve got no chance of ever getting back together.
But there is a way:
The law of attraction.
No games of manipulation or fancy tricks, just plenty of healing and positive thinking — believe it or not — can bring you and your ex back into a loving relationship.
So in this article, we’re going to cover everything you need to know about getting your ex back with the law of attraction, but first, what is it?
What is the law of attraction?
Put simply, the law of attraction is a philosophy that focuses on the power people have to make great changes in their life, just by using positive thoughts.
Essentially, what you believe is what you’ll get.
Negative thoughts attract more negativity into your life, whilst positive beliefs and thoughts will bring good things to you.
Sounds easy, right?
Well, it is, but there’s a little more to it than that.
The law of attraction works by focusing on positivity — having positive feelings and thoughts, and by focusing on the things you want to achieve. It could be better health, a new relationship (or in this case, sparking an old flame) or, even career success.
When you channel all your thoughts and feelings towards positivity rather than focusing on the frustration and limitations in your life, you’re essentially changing the frequency of your energy.
So what does your energy have to do with it?
Well, under the law of attraction, we’re all connected through our energy vibrations. The entire universe, God, animals, nature, and humans, all share this energy.
But we all operate at different frequencies.
The same goes the other way — if you’re always submerged in a cloud of negative thoughts and feelings, the universe will send similar energy back to you.
So, how exactly will it help you in attracting back your ex?
How does the law of attraction work?
We’ve covered what the law of attraction is, and at this point, you might be wondering how it can help you get your ex back.
Surely, if it’s as easy and simple as just thinking positively, we’d all achieve our hopes and dreams, right?
Well, there are a few factors to consider. Generally, the law of attraction follows these three principles:
- Similar things attract one another. Positive thoughts attract positive experiences and outcomes, whilst negative energy attracts negative energy. This can also be applied to people — we attract those who are similar to us.
- There are no empty spaces in nature. Nature doesn’t allow for us to have empty spaces — it’s either filled with positivity or negativity. The idea is that by taking away negativity, you’re allowing more space for positivity to flood in.
- The power of the present. Instead of living in the future or the past, you can make changes to your life just by focusing on the present and making improvements to your current thoughts and feelings.
The good news is — there’s no limit to how much you can achieve using the law of attraction!
You can apply it to every part of your life but there are a few pitfalls to watch out for, especially if you’re doing it to bring back your ex.
Firstly, if your intentions aren’t pure and genuine, you won’t attract your ex back.
If you only want to get back together just so you can leave them later down the line, you’re not truly manifesting pure intentions and it’s not true love.
Secondly, don’t focus on what you don’t want.
It’s easy to fall into a habit of thinking things like:
“I never want to be hurt again”
“I hope he never moves on”
“I don’t want her to forget me”
But the law of attraction doesn’t work this way. It won’t distinguish between the positive and negative, it only recognizes your energy, so you’ll have much more success if you change your thinking to:
“I want to get back with my ex”
“I want him to stay in love with me”
“I want her to call me often”
Do you see how the negative thoughts have changed into positive ones?
Finally, the law of attraction won’t be useful if you’re desperate for your ex back.
Let go of any neediness you have and focus on the pure reasons why you want your ex back. Listen to the signs from the universe about your ex.
The bottom line is:
You need to be 100% sure of why you’re manifesting these thoughts and feelings in the first place. “Umming and ahhing” over what you want will hamper your efforts and the law of attraction knows when you’re not fully invested in something.
Now that you know exactly how the law of attraction works, let’s see how you can use it to bring back your ex:
How to get your ex back with the law of attraction
1) Be clear on your intentions
As we’ve already mentioned, your intentions need to be pure, so that’s the first thing you need to do.
Think about it this way:
Your thoughts are like a magnet. If you’re not pure in them (if you are being deceitful or manipulative), you’ll just attract the same bad energy back to you.
And that’s the last thing you want to do!
So, how can you get down to the nitty-gritty of why you want your ex back?
Journaling a great way to get your intentions down clearly so you can think about them in-depth. Here are a few questions to help your thought process:
- Why do I want him/her back?
- Am I doing this out of loneliness or is it because I genuinely love them?
- What is that I love about them?
- Why do I want this particular relationship back?
You see, by clarifying your intentions, you’ll be setting the foundation for your positive thoughts.
You’ll be able to sift through your emotions and work out why it is your heart longs for this person — and you can begin to visualize (the next step) of getting back together.
But most importantly, you’ll be reflecting on the genuine reasons you want to get your ex back.
If it’s for love — which the universe connects with strongly, you’ll have more chance of attracting them than if it’s over desperation or loneliness.
2) Visualize it
For some people, this step will be harder to achieve than for others.
It’s understandable that after a relationship ends, you might feel extremely sorry for yourself, sad about the end of the relationship, and even anger or hurt towards your partner. Especially if they left you.
So visualizing your life with them in it (as if you’ve already won them back) can be tough, and your emotions flying around will make it even harder.
Push through and preserve — the more you visualize what you want (as if it’s already happened) the sooner you’ll process through all your negative emotions and start to welcome positivity.
For others, that’ll happen naturally.
After your breakup, you might spend all day, every day, imagining what life would be like if your ex came back. That’s a good start, but rather than “wishing” for it to happen, start to picture it as if it’s your reality.
So why is it so important to visualize right now, in the present?
Well, it all comes down to how visualization can almost “trick” or reprogram your mind into believing that you’ve reached your goal.
You may not have your ex physically there in front of you, but if your brain believes it, you’ll have a much easier time being positive and sending out those good vibrations.
And you’ll notice how your entire feelings begin to change. There’ll be less sadness and despair and more motivation and feel-good energy.
So, picture yourself with your ex, right now.
Maybe you’re cuddled up in bed watching movies together or out at your favorite restaurant, locking eyes over margaritas.
Do you feel a difference? Has your mood, body, or breathing changed?
Do you feel calm, content, excited, ecstatic? Pay attention to how your body reacts, and use this energy to attract those feelings into your life.
Either way, whether visualizing comes easy to you or not, here are few tips to help you along:
- Use a vision board – just like artists do, create your vision using quotes, affirmations, pictures, whatever signifies what you want to achieve. You might even print out loving texts your ex once sent and stick them on the board, for clear visualization of the love you’re trying to bring back.
- Write out your vision – just as you wrote out your intentions, now you can lay out what you want to see in your life. It can be as long or short as you wish but make sure you include everything you’re trying to visualize on there.
- Create a mindmap – like with the vision board, you can get creative here. Let your mind run wild, draw or write the visualizations that flow in you and you might find that your brain wanders even further than you’d imagined it could.
- Mental visualization – whether you prefer to meditate (more on that later) or just sit quietly in a room and focus your thoughts and energy, mental visualization is one of the strongest you can do, because you can do it anywhere, anytime!
And finally, use a digital format if it helps. Thanks to technology, all of this can be done straight onto your phone or tablet.
The idea is that whenever you’re struggling to visualize, you can call upon these tools to guide you back to your positive thoughts whenever you need to.
In the law of attraction, meditation is considered an effective way to raise your positive vibrations.
Because through meditation you shut off all the external noise, the chaos in the world outside and you start looking inwards.
Think of it as cleansing your mind and spirit.
All the insecurities, pain, and doubt can be worked through, and once you reach a state of inner calmness and stillness, you’ll be opening the doors for positivity and hope to flourish.
So if you’ve never meditated before, follow these simple steps to get started:
- Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed
- Turn off your phone/laptop or any alarms that might interrupt (in some cases you might want to play low, soothing music to drown out external noise, in which case make sure your gadget has notifications turned off)
- You might want to create more ambiance by putting the lights down and lighting some candles
- Get comfortable! Many people find sitting in the lotus position the easiest, but to start with make sure you’re wearing comfortable clothes and you’re relaxed whichever position you choose
- Once you’re ready, start to breathe slow and deep (holding each breath for five seconds) for a few breaths
- Return to normal breathing and focus on each inhale and exhale. Try to calm your mind and every time you feel distracted, refocus on your breathing
The truth is:
Meditation isn’t easy to achieve the very first time you do it but practicing for even a few minutes every day will show improvement.
And once you start to reap the benefits of it, you’ll begin to feel much more connected with yourself and the energy around you.
You’ll realize that we’re all connected with the universe and with bad times comes good, with darkness comes light, and that we’re all part of a bigger energy flow.
So not only will it invite more positivity into your life, meditation will heal your wounds, make you more grounded and you’ll feel more connected to life.
And essentially, it takes you one step closer to getting your ex back using the law of attraction.
4) Throw out limiting beliefs
Limiting thoughts and beliefs are dangerous, to say the least.
How often have you avoided taking a risk or an opportunity because that little voice inside your head says you’re not good enough?
And not only will they hold you back in life but they’ll also make it extremely difficult for the universe to send positivity towards you if you let the voice of negativity take over.
The problem is:
Break-ups naturally attract feelings of doubt — your confidence is knocked and your hopes run low. Common limiting beliefs you might form (or that get triggered) are:
“My ex never wants to speak to me again”
“My ex hates me”
“I’m crap at relationships”
And a particularly common one: “I’ll never find love again”.
Now, it’s natural to feel like this, especially if the love of your life isn’t in the picture anymore and you feel down in the dumps.
But every time you think like this, you’re attracting more negative energy.
And even more importantly, these feelings aren’t real. They’re a result of self-doubt coupled with all the negative experiences you’ve been through.
So if it helps you, write them all out.
Make a list of every limiting belief you have that is holding you back.
The first step in overcoming these beliefs is to acknowledge you have them, then you can start separating them from your reality.
Because in reality, you will find love again (in this case, hopefully with your ex), your ex probably doesn’t hate you and you aren’t as terrible at relationships as you think you are.
5) Use affirmations to help manifest your intentions
So once you’ve acknowledged your limiting beliefs, now comes the part where you have to overcome them and that’s where affirmations can be a great help.
And the best part?
Memorizing just a couple of short affirmations will be enough to tackle the voice of self-doubt and criticism whenever it rears its ugly head.
Now, you can make up your affirmations (a great exercise to go through) but here are a few to get you started:
“I am ready to give and receive love”
“I’m worthy of being loved”
“I trust that the universe will bring love into my life, and I’m ready to accept it”
“Every experience I go through brings me closer to finding true love”
And you can have a little fun with your affirmations:
- Write an affirmation across your bathroom mirror (using something easy to wipe off, like lipstick) so you get a nice reminder everything nature calls
- Write your affirmations on little notes and hide them throughout your pockets and bags so you’ll randomly come across them now and then
- Create a background for your phone using one of your affirmations. Every time you start to feel negative thoughts come on, all you need to do is unlock your phone to be reminded of positive thinking
- Turn your affirmations into a song – take your favorite rap song and replace the lyrics with your affirmation, it might sound silly but you’ll have fun doing it
Here’s the beautiful thing about affirmations — they’re there to provide you with hope and love, and to counteract every negative thought that pops into your mind (until they’re quietened for good).
Because let’s be honest, we can all be a bit too harsh on ourselves, right?
But learning to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are is what will raise your vibrations, attract good energy, and even bring back your ex.
So get on and start manifesting your soulmate to come back to you — the sooner you start the better!
6) Practice gratitude
Here’s the thing:
Under the law of attraction, the universe wants to fulfill your desires.
If you want to be happy, the universe will grant you happiness. If you want love, the universe will bring you, love.
So what’s the easiest way to let the universe know what you want?
Show gratitude for what you have, love, and hope to achieve. It’s the best signal you can give and it shows the universe that you’re open to accepting more positivity into your life.
And there’s nothing more than the universe loves than someone who has genuine appreciation and gratitude for their life.
Here are a few ways to practice gratitude daily (even if it’s just for a few minutes in your day, get into the habit of doing this often and it’ll soon become second nature):
- Write a letter of gratitude – you can aim it at your ex, and go into detail on what you love and appreciate about them. Even if you don’t send it, the fact that you’ve written it out will increase your positive vibrations
- Make a gratitude list – write out all the things in your life that you’re thankful for
- Keep a journal – write down three good things that happen to you every single day (looking back after a month, you’ll realize just how wonderful your life is)
- Get creative – draw, create a collage, write a song, turn your feelings of gratitude into art
The truth is, it’s hard to wallow in misery when your list of blessings and good fortune grows every day as you document it down.
You’ll become calmer, happier and you’ll realize how amazing your life is, and what better timing to attract back your ex?
7) Sit back and trust the law of attraction
It’s important to remember that practicing gratitude, remembering affirmations and everything else we’ve covered won’t necessarily bring your ex back straight away.
So you might find that your trust in the process wavers from time to time.
Or you become frustrated because things aren’t happening as quickly as you want them to.
When this happens, take a deep breath.
Remind yourself that the universe has got your back. Visualize the things you want to achieve, and picture being together with your ex again.
The universe can’t be rushed or pressured. All you can do is continue to work on yourself, raise those positive vibrations and remain open to receiving love.
And who knows, it could be your ex that returns to you, or even a new love, with someone more in line with your energy.
The point is, the possibilities are endless.
You just have to do your part and trust the universe to do the rest.
So, we’ve covered everything you can do to get your ex back with the law of attraction, but what about what you shouldn’t do?
Mistakes to avoid when trying to get your ex back
By now you’ve got a few powerful techniques to begin using to attract your ex back and I’m sure you’re eager to begin!
After all, there’s no time like the present and each moment you’re apart from your ex, you miss them more and more.
But there are a couple of things to avoid doing, essentially they’ll work against you when it comes to the law of attraction.
Don’t practice these methods immediately after a break-up
After a break-up, your emotions are all over the place. You’re needy, you’re desperate to see your ex again, even if they hurt you, you probably think of them as a saint.
It’s easy to become stuck in a cycle of pity and despair, listening to sad love songs on repeat and stalking their social media.
It’s important to work through this first, gain some clarity on the situation, and let your emotions simmer down.
Then, when it comes to writing out your intentions, you’ll be thinking with a level head and a calmer heart.
Don’t chase after your ex
It’s understandable, you’re making all this effort to think positively about the situation and you think, “What’s the harm? I’ll drop him/her a friendly text to say hey”.
But the thing is:
It’s not just a friendly, platonic text.
It’s loaded with your expectations, your hopes, and dreams, everything you’ve been longing for could be boosted or squashed with this one text.
So, leave things up to the universe.
Do your end of the deal, work on yourself, become a more positive, happy person, and open your heart to love when it comes.
But don’t send that text, call them, or show up at their house. If you receive a negative response, it’ll only make it harder for you to keep up your positive vibrations.
Let them come to you.
Let the law of attraction work its magic and bring them back to you when the time is right, and most importantly, when you’re ready to receive them.
So focus on increasing your positive energy, visualize your ex with you again, don’t give up hope, and most importantly, trust in the process.