Why is my ex suddenly on my mind? 10 explanations

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Have you been thinking about your ex out of the blue lately? 

It happens to the best of us – although sometimes, it’s not so clear why this happens! 

After all, you’re trying your best to move on, so why does this person keep popping up in your thoughts? 

You’ll be happy to hear that a lot of the time, it’s not your own fault at all and there is an actual reason to these distracting thoughts! 

But let’s take a closer look, shall we? 

1) You and your ex have unfinished business 

The first reason that your ex is suddenly on your mind is that you and them have some unfinished business – and you probably won’t like the outcome. 

It could be something very minor, like a birthday or anniversary that you forgot to wish him or her, but have now realized you need to do so. 

Or it could be something big, like the way the relationship ended. 

You see, oftentimes we feel like we need closure from our ex – especially if the relationship didn’t end on good terms. 

When we are convinced that we need closure, it’s not uncommon to have your ex pop up in your thoughts a lot! 

The thing is, oftentimes, there is no such thing as closure from another person. 

The good news? You can give yourself closure! 

Yes, even though it was your ex who hurt you, it’s not too late to move on and see the best in yourself. 

Take a moment to remind yourself how much better you are now, how much better you can be in the future, or even how beautiful and special you truly are.

Giving yourself closure often looks like understanding that no matter what, you can’t control other people’s actions, you can only control yours. 

Once you understand that fully, you get to let go of the fact that you want this person to apologize, and you can decide to move on and forgive them without the closure. 

Yes, I said forgive them! 

The thing is, forgiveness is all about you, it doesn’t really do the other person any favors. 

Although I understand that in your mind you think that forgiving them is a way of giving them a free pass to do what they want, it’s really about you. 

Forgiving isn’t about what they did, it’s about who you ARE. 

When you forgive someone, you aren’t saying “it’s okay that they did this to me,” rather, you’re saying “I’m so much better than this, and I refuse to live my life with any resentment towards this person.” 

But even if you have forgiven them, it’s likely that there will be some triggers that come up from time to time, which brings me to my next point:

2) You feel triggered by something 

Oof – triggers are never fun. If you aren’t sure what I am talking about, being triggered means that you are overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings from your past. 

For example, if you had to break up with an ex that you were very close with because he or she cheated on you, then the slightest thought of cheating might evoke all those feelings in you again. 

Usually, when we are triggered, something in our present reminds us of a time that we were physically or emotionally in danger, and our bodies, because they are traumatized, react to this present event as if the past is replaying. 

This is why small little problems can feel like a huge deal sometimes – you are triggered because something in the past really hurt you. 

For example, if you had a breakup in your past that was very painful, then you might start feeling triggered by seeing similar breakups on TV or even when a date doesn’t go well. 

This is because of the trauma that you experienced in the past – your body remembers how it felt to be betrayed, and now it’s being triggered. 

Now, the thing is, those triggers can be painfully obvious, but they can also sometimes be very subtle. 

Your ex could be on your mind because a part of you got triggered by something in your present, or because a part of you is still upset over what happened in the past. 

So, although I know that you may feel like it’s all your fault for not being able to get over them and move on, it’s important to remember that you aren’t alone! 

You are far from the only person who has been through a painful break-up in their life. 

And even though you may have forgotten about it, your own body is still carrying around the feelings and problems from that time, which means others may not be able to get over them as easily as you did. 

But the good news? You can let go of the pain.

It is 100% possible to let go of that pain and heal yourself. It will take some time and a lot of work, but it will be totally worth it! 

Now – sometimes, those random thoughts about your ex might just be a sign that you miss them! 

3) You miss them dearly 

Do you wish they were still around? 

Perhaps they’re doing well and things are great now, but you still feel nostalgic for your old life when it was just the two of you – so much so that you can’t get them out of your head! 

Just ask any person who’s gone through a breakup: sometimes it takes time for feelings to start fading away, then diminish altogether.

The thing is, missing someone is not a linear path, it doesn’t get less every day until one day it reaches 0. 

In fact, when you try to get over someone, you will go through many ups and downs. There might be days or weeks at a time when you think you’ve finally gotten over them and – BAM! 

Suddenly they are back on your mind. 

This could very well be what is happening right now, and you need to know that that’s normal! 

The thing is, you can’t force yourself to love someone, and you most definitely can’t tell yourself that you have to get over them. 

You have to allow yourself to feel these feelings. If something inside of you hurts, don’t ignore it – listen to it! 

A lot of times, when we miss someone so much that we feel like our heart is breaking, what’s actually happening is that a part of us is yearning for something more! 

This might be a sign that you had a great connection with your ex and are now realizing that there are other people out there with whom you could also have an amazing relationship.

Who knows, maybe this is the perfect time to get back out there and start dating? 

However, I don’t recommend going back into the dating world if you know for a fact that you are not over your ex. 

Any connection that you make in that state will still only be a rebound, nothing worthwhile is ever going to come out of that. 

So, if you are ready to move forward and start dating, then go for it! But keep in mind – don’t rush into things. 

And the most interesting part?  

You might not be the one missing your ex… 

4) They miss you

Yes, you heard me right. 

Those random thoughts about your ex in your mind might be a result of them actually missing you

This is most likely the case if you had a breakup where either they were in the wrong or they still really loved you. 

But I know what you are thinking – if they miss you, how come they pop up in your thoughts? 

Well, this is where things get interesting. 

You see, when someone misses you, they send out tons of energy your way. 

They are thinking about you a lot and so that energy is very intense. 

Your subconscious is actually picking up on that energy, and you will find yourself thinking about them more often. 

And the more that you think about them, the more that their energy is able to reach into your subconscious mind! 

This is also why it’s so hard for you to get over someone – remember how I just said that when someone misses you, their energy is really intense? 

Well, their energy can make it so that you feel like they are in the room with you! Once again, this might be a sign from your subconscious that this other person is thinking about you. 

But I know how unbelievable this sounds – I didn’t buy it at first, either. 

That’s why I can recommend that you talk to someone at Psychic Source when in doubt. 

You see, these gifted advisors are amazing when it comes to any matters related to love. 

They will be able to tell you exactly what is going through your ex’s mind, so that you no longer have to wonder! 

But hey, maybe you are the one who is thinking about your ex, because a part of you just isn’t ready to move on yet… 

5) You are dating someone new and are comparing them to your ex

Oftentimes, when we start dating after having had a breakup, we have a tendency to compare our date with our ex. 

Or, in other words, we expect our new partner to be just like them. 

This is what’s called being in a rebound relationship – you are trying to replace your ex because they didn’t give you everything that you wanted or needed or you just miss them! 

You’re simply not over them, and so every new person that you try to date will not be good enough for you.

Now, all of this might not be happening on a conscious level, you may not think “This person is not as good as my ex”, but your subconscious is thinking it. 

That’s also the reason why your ex then randomly pops up in your mind – you are comparing this person to your ex, and so they end up there. 

This is why it’s so hard to get over someone if you had a rebound relationship – because you still have all the feelings of love for them, and these feelings will not go away as fast as you would like them to. 

The thing is, if you think that you are still comparing your ex to your dates, then maybe you aren’t quite ready to date after all. 

Even if you aren’t being adamant about dating, you shouldn’t rush into things too soon after the breakup. 

Give your broken heart some time to heal, and be kind to yourself in the process. 

Now, there is always the chance that you are not alone with your feelings:

6) Your ex still has feelings for you 

Yep, there is a chance that the thoughts in your mind are a result of your ex still having feelings for you. 

You see, even if your ex broke up with you in a very harsh way or for no reason at all, it doesn’t mean that they are over you. 

They still might be missing you and thinking about you on a subconscious level. This can happen because of the strong emotional connection that they had with you (the one we talked about earlier). 

Now: when your ex still has feelings for you, they probably can’t help thinking about you. 

Sure, they might miss you, but this is more than that. 

They don’t just miss the good times you had, they actively have feelings for you and want you back. 

All of this thinking about you is probably sending out a ton of energy in your direction, and that’s why you are thinking about them a lot. 

I know, this sounds a bit far-fetched, but as I mentioned earlier, if you want the real confirmation, simply ask someone at Psychic Source for help. 

Those people are skilled at working with exes and they can tell you whether you and this person have a second chance in the future, or if you should move on once and for all! 

So, if you are curious about what your future holds, click here to get your own reading!

Sometimes, however, we simply feel nostalgic…

7) You are feeling nostalgic about the good times 

Another reason that your ex keeps popping up in your thoughts is because you’re feeling nostalgic. 

Nostalgia is a state of mind that can often be induced by a number of things, including some recent events – like an anniversary or birthday – and other small reminders, like a text from an old friend or the sight of your favorite food. 

It could also be caused by thinking about something that has always been associated with you and them – the beach, for example.

Now: feeling nostalgic is not the same as missing someone. 

The thing is, when you miss someone, you really want them to be here again and you want to go back to that time. 

Nostalgia is a bit different – you can feel nostalgic and still be happy and content with where you are at in life. 

It’s important to understand that just because you are feeling nostalgic doesn’t mean that the breakup was a mistake or that you want your ex back

But let me tell you a secret, sometimes the explanation is a lot easier:

8) You have seen their name somewhere 

Randomly thinking about your ex can have the simple explanation that you saw their name somewhere, maybe even subconsciously and that triggered some memories. 

It could be an Instagram post or something on Facebook, or you have seen their name somewhere else. 

The truth is that you are probably not thinking about them as much as it seems, but seeing their name triggers a feeling of nostalgia and then you realize that they are on your mind. 

This is completely normal and nothing to worry or think about too much! 

But that’s not the only reason why they might be on your mind…

9) You are feeling lonely

How have you been feeling lately? 

Has the thought of seeing other couples happily in love made you feel a pit in your stomach? 

You don’t want to go out and socialize anymore because it feels like a dead-end: you will only see so many happy couples, and then you will want to be that person again. 

This may seem horrible, but I promise that there are ways of coping with this feeling and being happy again

Just because you are lonely now doesn’t mean that your ex is the only solution to that problem. 

You can learn to be happy on your own, with your friends, and in the future, with a new partner. 

However, don’t beat yourself up over feeling lonely. 

As I said earlier: we are human beings and all of us have the ability to feel lonely from time to time, which makes it completely natural to then think of the person that made us feel less lonely at some point… 

Speaking of being natural… 

10) It’s natural  to still think about someone you love from time to time 

Once you truly love someone, you love them forever. 

Sure, the romantic feelings of being “in love” will disappear, but when the love was true, this person will have a place in your heart forever. 

You see – true love is one of the most powerful feelings in the world and this is why it’s so difficult to move on when your relationship ends. 

Even if you have already done that, deep down inside, on a subconscious level, you likely still care about your ex and probably even love them. 

This is completely natural and nothing to worry about, because this doesn’t mean that you want them back or that you will never find someone else. 

It just means that you loved someone once, and so they still occupy a little piece of your heart and thoughts from time to time, and that’s beautiful! 

Final thoughts 

You see, there are many reasons why your ex might be popping up in your thoughts so much. 

However, it’s important to note that this doesn’t mean you should be with them or that they are the right person for you! 

Sometimes, we simply miss them or they think about us a lot! 

Focus on yourself during this time and think about what it is that you personally truly want! 

Can a gifted advisor help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to someone with special intuition.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Psychic Source when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into what my future holds, and the confidence to make the right decisions when it comes to love.

If you haven’t heard of Psychic Source before, it’s a site where gifted advisors help people through complicated and difficult life situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a highly intuitive psychic and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my psychic was.

Click here to get started.

Scroll to Top