12 crucial steps to ask the universe for love

We love to believe that we are masters of our own destinies — fully in charge of our successes and failures.

But the reality is a lot more complicated than that. There are many things that feel outside of our control. To paraphrase Alanis Morisette, you can’t control if it raiiiaaaaans on your wedding day, nor can you control the actions of other people.

There are things beyond our control: luck, tragedy, even love.

Falling in love, or having someone fall in love with you is not something you can truly will to happen. As my very uncouth old grandpappy used to say: love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it’s probably shit.

Nice, pappy.

Face it: you’re not the one who controls love. The universe is. Call it Cupid, call it Aphrodite, call it God — the Universe is what seems to set our hearts in motion.

You can’t control it. But can you beseech it?

You can. You can ask the universe for love. And, with a little hope, a lot of manifesting, and a lot of getting your life in a good place, you can set yourself up to find love.

Here’s how.

How to ask the universe for love

Stop! Before you go about asking — you need to set yourself up to be in a good place. I know that this is counterintuitive, but trust me, it’s a crucial step.

Would you ask the universe to grant you an amazing harvest if you hadn’t even planted seeds? If you hadn’t even purchased the land? If you didn’t even read farming for dummies?

No. You need to do your homework.

So let’s back up for just a second. You want to ask the universe for love. You want to feel loved, be loved, and give love. Great. Are you prepared for that?

Prepare yourself to love and be loved

Love, thanks to romance movies, culturally has been viewed as an end goal. Love, in popular culture, exists as both a finish line and the ultimate panacea. It fixes everything that is wrong with us and we never have to struggle again.

Sounds amazing, right? It’s also bullshit.

Love is not the end goal. Rather, it is the starter gun firing at the beginning of a lifelong marathon.

Love is a complex emotion, built out of eros (lust), romance, kinship, trust, and measures of selflessness. As my old pastor used to say, love is 60-40 give and take, both ways.

In a nutshell, love is a continual process that you build between yourself and someone else. You have to give, take, and compromise. It’s complicated! If you aren’t in a healthy position when you enter into a relationship, you could find yourself being taken advantage of or in a morbid dependency with your partner.

So you need to check yourself before you begin your love search. Are you ready to give? Are you comfortable taking? Are you ready to enter into a partnership, not one where you put your partner on a pedestal, and are you ready to view love as a journey, not a destination?

If you’re ready — if you believe yourself to be strong enough to embark upon this partnership, then it’s time to ask the universe for love.

The law of attraction

When we talk about asking the universe for love, we are talking about using a form of manifesting. Manifesting (or manifestation) is the process of focusing thoughts and actions on an outcome. The law of attraction, a tenet in manifesting, states that we radiate certain energies and these energies attract similar energies.

Ever notice that you attract friends that are relatively similar to you? That’s a small instance of the law of attraction.

With manifestation, one aims to take advantage of the law of attraction by redirecting their energy into this positive outcome. In other words, you will attract love by manifesting love, because manifesting-love puts out a positive love energy.

How is manifesting different than prayers or magic?

This is a little too metaphysical for my paygrade (I only have a BFA in writing!), but — the way I see it — is that manifesting, prayer, and even magic, are similar processes that assign different reasons to the same outcomes.

In manifesting, it is the energy you create that attracts positive energy. In magic, you are calling upon hidden energies and directing these energies with your will. In prayer, you are using your energy (in the form of words or thoughts) to commune with a greater spirit (God, Angels, Saints) to produce a desired outcome.

Honestly, they’re not that different.

So, please tailor the steps I’ll delve into to your religious background as appropriate.

Or, if you think it’s all a bunch of hooey, then read on anyway and please mock me gently in the comments.

1) Focus on exactly what you want

Asking the universe for love isn’t quite as dangerous as the proverbial monkey’s paw, but there certainly is an element of “well, this is literally what you asked for” that can come along with asking the universe for love.

For example, if you just said “I want to find love,” you may be surprised that you wind up unexpectedly adopting a dog, whom you fall in love with immediately.

Not quite the type of love you may have been expecting.

So, if you’re looking for romantic love, you need to focus on that. Is this romantic love that will lead to a lifelong partnership? Or are you looking for the love of friendship?

What do you want? Figure that out — figure that energy out — down to at. Then, focus on that relationship and that energy.

2) Connect to the universe

You need to make contact with the universe. For a praying person, this means invocation — communicating directly with your deity or higher power. For someone whose higher power is simply the consciousness of the universe, this means acknowledging that interconnected web of energy that unites all living things — great and small — and doing your best to feel the connection between yourself and the greater universe.

3) A real psychic can confirm it

The steps above and below will give you a good idea of how to ask the universe for love.

But a surefire way to know for sure is to speak with a real gifted advisor.

However, I know how important it is to stay away from fake “experts”.

That’s why I recommend Psychic Source. They provided me a unique insight into where my life should go, including who I was meant to be with.

Having tried several online advisors, I think they’re the most caring, compassionate, and knowledgeable psychic network out there.

Not only will a genuine love advisor tell you how to ask the universe for love, but they can reveal all your love possibilities.

Click here to get your own love reading.

4) Ask for love

If you want to find true love, then you need to ask for it.

While focusing on exactly what you want, and while in union with the universe, you now need to ask for what you want. You need to direct your energy to your desired goal, and clearly, explicitly ask for it.

Ask for love. Ask to give love, and ask to get love in return.

5) Visualize the love you wish to have

After you have asked the universe for love, you must continue to visualize the love you wish to have. You don’t need to do this constantly, but you should do it relatively frequently — especially before putting yourself out there on, say, a date. This helps reinforce the positive, loving energy that you are putting out into the universe, spurring attraction from a loving partner.

But, it also ensures that you stay focused on your goal. If you are looking for a long-term commitment, visualizing this commitment will help you choose and pursue dates and opportunities that will lead to this desired outcome. When you visualize long-term love, you’ll be less likely to accept that drunk text at 2 am from that guy who just wants to keep things chill.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with just keeping things chill, if that’s what you want. Again, it’s all about focusing on your desired outcome.

6) Let go of what is holding you back

You need to make yourself open and available to what the universe will bring you. This means letting go of things that are impeding love.

For some folks, that could be limiting beliefs. What type of limiting beliefs? Perhaps, “my dream husband will be an architect who makes six figures,” or “my dream wife is a supermodel who also loves to play my favorite video games and –”

Stop. We’re focusing on attracting a compatible energy, not designing a life partner like it’s a doll.

Other limiting beliefs could be centered upon yourself, such as “I am not good enough for love.” Others still could be based around too high expectations for the beginning of the relationship: “he has to make me feel butterflies the moment I meet him.” “He can’t take me to that restaurant for a first date. That’s ridiculous!”

These parameters are holding you back from receiving love. If we accept that manifesting attracts energy, then these parameters are blocking the signal you’re putting out.

7) Amplify what will define your love

On the other hand, you need to keep those key characteristics of your love front and center. These key characteristics are sometimes thought of as “deal-breakers,” meaning that if the person doesn’t have those characteristics, the relationship can’t work out.

With manifesting, it’s helpful to think on the positive, instead of the negative, so we should focus on the musts before the must nots.

So what will define your love? Maybe it’s a love for the great outdoors? A love for cooking? A love of poetry? Focus on those, and then make an effort to deepen your relationship with those loves. Go to that poetry open mic! Go volunteer at that neighborhood garden. Commune with your loves and you will continue to attract love to you.

8) Search for your soulmate

Instead of asking the universe for love, you can ask for a specific person, such as your soulmate.

Let’s face it:

We can waste a lot of time and energy with people who ultimately we’re not compatible with. Finding your soulmate isn’t exactly easy.

But what if there was a way to remove all the guesswork?

I’ve just stumbled upon a way to do this…  a professional psychic artist who can draw a sketch of what your soulmate looks like.

Even though I was a bit skeptical at first, my friend convinced me to try it out a few weeks ago.

Now I know exactly what he looks like. The crazy thing is that I recognized him right away,

If you’re ready to find out what your soulmate looks like, get your own sketch drawn here.

9) Build yourself up

Asking the universe for love involves putting out energy to attract a similar love. To help that attraction, it helps to increase the energy that you’re putting out.

Work on yourself. If you’ve found that (thanks to the pandemic), you’ve become pretty grumpy around strangers and are rusty on your small-talk, then you need to address that. Jettison your negative characteristics — or at least take steps to work on them. Maybe you’re jealous of your friends who are settling down and getting married. Work on that jealousy. Sit with yourself and figure out why you feel jealous? Is it because you are lonely — because you feel that by yourself you aren’t a strong enough person?

Whatever it is, get to the bottom of it, process it, and take steps to correct that negative thought pattern.

How’s your apartment looking? A little messy? Go about and get it cleaned up! Envision you’re having a date over — get that apartment into the way you’d like it if you were coming over.

Extend this philosophy across the rest of your life. Get yourself to the point you’d say, “holy shit, I’d date myself in a heartbeat!”

10) Be patient, but be flexible

Love is patient, love is kind.

Love doesn’t show up the day after you ask the universe for love.

You need to be patient. Respect that love will appear when the time is right. All you can do is cultivate a fertile space where love has the opportunity to land and flourish.

At the same time, if you’ve been patient for quite some time and no love is coming your way, it may be time to check in with the universe. Open up those lines of communication, and ask again. Manifest that love.

After asking the universe for love again, check in with your processes. It may be time to mix things up. See if a trusted friend may be able to set you up on a date. Experiment with online dating. Or, get out of your comfort zone and mingle with friend groups you don’t always see.

While it is untrue that Einstein said the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result (isn’t that just the scientific method, really?), it is true that odds are, you won’t get a different result if you try the same thing over and over again. Mix it up!

11) Be generous

Love is 60-40 give-and-take, both ways.

So, be a giver. Be a generous person. Go out of your way to help friends when they need assistance. Help that college buddy move apartments. Help that neighbor lift that rickety desk up the stairs.

Generosity is infectious. It spreads warmth, it builds friendships, and it extends your social circle. Sure, you may not get married to the guy you helped lift a desk, but he could end up inviting you to a party where you meet his friend, and the two of you hit it off. It’s possible!

12) Be grateful

You gotta give thanks to the universe. When you ultimately find love, give thanks.

But give thanks all along. Thank the universe for helping you find love, for helping you through your journey of finding love, for helping you become a more loving person. Give thanks!

Give thanks especially at the start of your journey — right as you’re asking for love. Visualize all that you already have, that you are grateful for: health, life, family, shelter, money, creativity. Give thanks for it. It is a blessing.

It will help you ground your generosity as a tenet of your love, which in turn will help you attract the generous love that will allow your relationship to flourish.

Final thoughts

Hopefully, the steps above will shed some light on how to ask the universe for love.

But if there’s a part of you that still wants to know more, I recommend speaking to a genuine, professional love advisor.

And there’s one company that I always end up recommending; Psychic Source. Not only did they blow me away with their accurate readings, but they were also kind and understanding of my situation.

So if you’re tired of wondering how to attract love in your life, get in touch with a legit advisor and take your future into your own hands. I did, and I’ve never looked back since.

Click here to get your own professional love reading.

Nathan Dennis

Nathan Dennis

Nathan Dennis is a Manhattan based playwright and poet of Floridian extraction. A graduate of NYU Tisch Department of Dramatic Writing, he served as a Rita and Burton Goldberg Fellow, and was awarded Outstanding Writing for the Stage in Spring of 2015. His most recent play, Lord of Florida, was workshopped by PrismHouse Theatre Company in the Fall of 2017.

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