Every once in a while we wonder if there’s someone special out there for us.
Most people would be lying if they said they’d never worried about ever finding love, or thought that maybe it was something that just wasn’t for them.
To others, these feelings are fleeting and easily reassured.
For some, this gnawing feeling could start dictating the way they relate to the world.
Don’t let your pessimism eat you up.
For starters, you’re not the only person who feels this way.
If you’re looking for a silver lining in this foggy mess, consider the following things to gain some perspective:
1) Your Standards Are Your Standards For a Reason
Another failed relationship.
Another bad date.
Another night swiping on dating apps but never finding the right one.
You might start to wonder, “Is it me? Am I setting my standards too high?”
While this is always an important question to ask, you have to know when it’s acceptable and when it’s not.
Your standards are your standards for a reason.
What your gut instinct believes you want in a partner — especially when you’ve tried several times in the past — is generally what should be best for you.
Of course, if you’re only looking for tall, handsome, rich, and successful men or women who donate their time to charity, then your standards are probably too high.
But you shouldn’t lower your bar so significantly that you end up settling for partners who don’t deserve you.
2) The Universe Will Help You When You’re Ready
It might feel like you’re the only person who cares about you when you’re sitting alone in your room with nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to see.
Even though you’ve put yourself out there a thousand times, you just can’t find the right man or woman who clicks with you, and you’re sick of fighting for your own happiness all on your own.
But you’re never on your own, no matter how much it feels like it.
The universe is there, listening, and it works in synchronicity: things will happen when they’re meant to happen.
Your soulmate is out there and they probably look like you.
Perhaps instead of looking outward for love, you should be looking inward and working on yourself.
The universe helps those who don’t let themselves get lost on the wrong paths.
3) Life Is About So Much More Than Just Finding a Soulmate
It might often feel like the most important thing in the world is finding “The One”.
And that makes sense: you might be thinking that you want to save the most exciting and eventful moments of your life so that you can spend them with your lifelong partner.
So you deny yourself the experiences of living a full life, simply because you want to find your soulmate first so you can live it with them.
But here’s the thing: life is long, much longer than it feels.
What might be the most important thing in your life right now could be meaningless to you in a year.
Don’t put the rest of your life on hold simply because you want to find your soulmate first.
Live your life the best way you can, and find the other things that give you purpose.
It might be along those paths that you find the person you’re destined to end up with.
4) Your Journey Is Long and Unpredictable
As we said above, life is long.
Long, winding, and unpredictable: you never know which way it’s going to go, where you’ll end up, and who will matter to you at the end of the decade.
And that’s what makes life so beautiful — the endless possibilities and everything you can do with it.
Right now it might feel like you’re worthless and unlovable, but none of that is true.
And even if it is, you have all the time in the world to reverse that.
You can reinvent yourself a thousand times in a single lifetime, discovering the version of “you” that feels best.
And during these reinventions, you’ll discover the man or woman destined to be yours.
5) You’re Free To Do Whatever You Want
When you’re feeling down and in the dumps, because you don’t have a partner to have nice dinners with, to go on vacations with, to start building a life with, it helps to look at the bright side of things.
And one great thing about being single?
The fact that you’re not in a relationship.
Because the truth is relationships aren’t always fun and games.
Most relationships end up crashing and burning, and about half of marriages end in divorce.
If you’re struggling to find your soulmate, it might be the universe saving you from a dozen different heartbreaks that went nowhere and just wasted your time.
So enjoy your single life while you have it.
You can do literally whatever you want: move to the other side of the world, change careers, hang out with anyone, all without potentially upsetting your partner and disrupting your life together.
6) There’s No Schedule
Most people get anxious when they start creeping into their late 20s.
Somehow we were led to believe in the narrative that people had to get married before their thirties, or else.
Modern dating makes it seem like there’s a window for when you can meet the love of your life, otherwise, you’d have to spend the rest of your life alone.
This is simply not true.
Many people marry young and don’t find their soulmates until their later years.
It might sound cliche: but love really does take time.
Sometimes it takes years to become the person your soulmate is meant to find, and that’s all part of the journey.
7) A Break Up Isn’t the End
Things understandably seem bleak at the end of a long-term relationship.
After building your life with someone and thinking they’d be “The One”, suddenly it feels like you have to start from scratch.
All the plans you’ve made together and the futures you imagined go down the drain like it was nothing.
It’s easy to dwell on the negatives and tell yourself that you’ve lost your one shot at love, especially if you were convinced this person was going to be the one you spent your life with.
Just because this relationship failed doesn’t mean that you’re doomed for solitude.
As impactful as this relationship has been to you, it in no way sets a precedent for the rest of your relationships.
It’s tough getting back out there, especially if you’ve been out of the game for so long.
At the end of the day, there’s no rush — a breakup is just another speed bump telling you to slow down and prepare for your soulmate.
So sit back and enjoy the ride a little bit.
8) Maybe You’re Not Being Genuine
In your pursuit of finding a soulmate, have you stopped to wonder whether you’re someone people would actually want to end up with?
Too many people focus on finding their significant others without ever spending time on improving themselves.
You could spend your life waiting around for your soulmate without ever taking the time to invest in yourself.
Worse, you could pretend to be someone you’re not just to find a partner.
Soulmates aren’t contracts from the universe that just happens to drop on our lap.
Ultimately it’s up to you to become someone your future partner would want to build their life with.
9) You Could Be Looking In the Wrong Places
There’s a high chance that you won’t find your spouse-to-be swiping on Tinder or hitting up bars at 3 AM on a Saturday.
If you’re feeling down on your luck, consider whether you’ve been looking in the right places.
Speed dating strangers and casually hooking up through the internet certainly isn’t how you meet the love of your life.
You’ll never find the person that’s meant for you until you actually put yourself out there and try building something genuine in earnest.
As much as we want to romanticize soulmates, there is some work involved in finding this special someone.
Engage in activities you enjoy and put yourself in situations where you’re likely to meet someone interesting.
It’s all about casting a wide net and giving yourself the opportunities to succeed.
10) There Are Distractions Throwing You “Off” Right Now
So what if your peers are getting married and having kids?
If romance is the last thing on your mind, that doesn’t mean you’re destined to be alone.
Maybe you’re just not meant to be doing that right now.
You could be in the middle of building an amazing career, and maybe falling in love is the least of your worries.
Just because you’re not feeling it now doesn’t mean you won’t ever experience the same kind of relationship you see in other people.
Your journey is different from others.
You can’t walk in their steps because your roads lead to different places.
Can a gifted advisor help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to someone with special intuition.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Psychic Source when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into what my future holds, and the confidence to make the right decisions when it comes to love.
If you haven’t heard of Psychic Source before, it’s a site where gifted advisors help people through complicated and difficult life situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a highly intuitive psychic and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my psychic was.