“Why do I like being alone?”
Are you asking yourself this question?
Are you the type of person that loves to spend time alone?
Do you feel more alive when you’re alone with your own thoughts than when you’re with others?
Don’t worry. You’re not alone. In fact, I’m just like you.
But you ever wondered why you enjoy spending time with yourself so much?
I know I have. I thought that I must be weird, or at least different, to everyone else because I’m not as sociable as others.
I wanted to find out why I was like this, so over the last few days, I’ve researched everything about people who like to be alone.
Here is what my research has uncovered.
Here are 21 special personality traits of people who like to be alone.
1. You’re probably an introvert
No surprises here.
Perhaps you already know what the term “introvert” means, or you know that you are one.
But it’s almost a given that if you enjoy spending time alone that you’re an introvert.
So, what exactly do we mean by introvert?
It means that you find social interactions as draining and less rewarding compared to an extrovert.
In fact, research has suggested that this is because introverts are sensitive to the neurotransmitter dopamine, which fires rapidly during social exposure.
While you may enjoy social interactions briefly, your sensitivity to dopamine could be the reason you find prolonged social interaction draining.
And you love spending time alone because this is how you recharge yourself.
2. You have less energy than others
We’ve all met that type of person with an endless supply of energy.
They’re always at you to hang out and when you do eventually hang out with them, they can’t stop talking and yapping about meaningless dribble.
Not only do you find this kind of person incredibly annoying, but you also realize that you have less supply of energy than them – especially for social interactions.
While you love to exercise because it makes you feel good, you also love a nice comfy chair or couch to relax on.
You love having time to just rest and recuperate.
Sitting on a comfy chair is how you recharge your batteries and get ready for the week ahead.
3. You love doing what you want to do
You know yourself well. You know what you dislike doing and what you like doing.
And when you spend time with others, you’ve learned that you don’t get to do what you want to do.
Being with others involves compromise. You can’t always go to your favorite restaurant and bask in the glory of your own thoughts.
It doesn’t mean you never compromise yourself.
But in general, you prefer not to when given the choice.
And when you’re alone?
That is where you can do whatever you want. You think about whatever you want to think about.
And that’s exactly the way you like it.
4. You prefer peace and quiet
Big, bustling noisy cities? Not your style.
You love peace and quiet. You love immersing yourself in the beauty of nature or the relaxing feel of a comfy couch.
The main problem with social interactions?
There is no silence.
As soon as you add another person to your plans, the peace you enjoy is destroyed.
It’s not even about the other person being loud or obnoxious.
Just their mere presence can you throw you off your flow.
This is why you struggle to work in an office with other people.
The very fact that other people are in close proximity means that you can’t fully relax and be your true self.
You’re only your true self when you’re alone.
5. You’re a complex and deep thinker
You love deep, introspective thinking.
Whether it’s about your goals or what you want to achieve in life, or the nature of love and its importance in interconnecting our lives, you absolutely love sitting alone and dwelling on the impossible.
This is different from other people with simple minds.
Some people can’t spend 5 minutes alone with their own thoughts.
You, on the other hand, could spend the whole day.
In fact, thinking about deep and meaningful questions about life and the universe gets your juices flowing.
You absolutely love contemplating mind-bending philosophy about the universe and the meaning of life.
Like all great thinkers in the past, you do your best thinking when you’re alone.
You can’t enter “the flow state” with your thoughts when you’re around others.
6. You do your best work alone
Just like complex thinking, you’re at your productive best when you’re alone concentrating on your work.
When covid-19 hit, it actually benefited you to be working at home.
As we mentioned before, the presence of others can throw you off your game.
But when you’re at home nobody can distract you.
After all, you find it hard to zone out from distractions around you.
Hearing other people talk or chew their food irks you to your core.
But when you’re alone, you can easily reach the flow state and achieve whatever you put your mind to.
7. You don’t do drama
Gossiping? Talking about people behind their backs?
Not your style.
In fact, you absolutely hate the toxic energy of gossiping and talking sh*t about other people’s lives.
It just doesn’t interest you at all.
It’s obvious to you that gossiping is wasted energy that only serves to bring your vibration down.
If you’re going to talk with other people, you’d rather it be positive and productive.
But talking about other people’s lives?
It isn’t fair on them.
And doesn’t improve yourself or make you feel good at all.
8. You dislike small-talk
“How crazy is this weather?”
“How are you today?”
“Watch the game last night?”
Argghh, these kinds of questions and the conversations that follow annoy you more than a pessimistic co-worker.
They’re completely superficial and the information exchanged lacks so much meaning that nothing needs to be said in the first place.
You prefer to speak when you have something to say. You don’t like speaking just for the sake of it.
Your time is better spent on other things.
And let’s forget how awkward and soul-destroying small-talk can be when people pretend to be interested.
Get a hold of yourself, Mike! We know you’re interested in whether or not it’s going to rain today.
When you have a conversation, you prefer it to be about something that’s actually meaningful.
That’s your style.
What is your purpose in life? Why do you get up in the morning?
You want to know what makes a person tick and where they get their meaning in life.
That is when you feel alive in a conversation.
And that is the kind of conversation that is actually worth it to you.
9. You take care of your own emotions
You don’t need to be around others all the time.
You don’t rely on other people for your happiness and joy in life.
Your happiness is found within you.
This is why you’re emotionally independent.
And this is why you’re happy when you’re alone.
You don’t feel the need to speak about your emotions with other people.
You already love yourself. You know you who you are and you don’t need someone else’s help.
You’re capable of working through your problems and putting yourself in a positive mood.
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10. You feel burdened by the emotional baggage of others
Even though you’re emotionally mature and independent, you’re actually quite sensitive to other people’s negative emotions.
So when someone else unloads on you with their negative emotions, it tends to affect you deeply.
You have strong empathy (some people even call you an empath) and you feel like you need to help them.
That’s not a bad quality by any stretch of the imagination.
But it does mean that you’re wary about absorbing other people’s negative energy.
After all, it can seriously drain you.
Generally, the best way for you to recharge and balance yourself emotionally is to spend time alone.
11. You don’t respond to superficial rewards
According to Collin DeYoung, a psychology professor, one of the main reasons introverts love time alone has to do with how they respond to rewards.
An example of a reward would be getting a pay rise at work or a new car.
Research suggests that extroverts are more motivated and energized by rewards, while introverts see them as tiring and annoying.
This is why so many of your extroverts concern themselves with earning more money and buying more material objects.
As weird as it might seem for you, these superficial pleasures motivate an extrovert to keep performing and be content in life.
You’re not as motivated by these rewards, which leads to you being more content and happy staying at home.
12. You’re content with your life
While most people are running around trying to earn more money, gain more material possessions, and move up in life, you’re perfectly happy with where you’re at right now.
You don’t crave new connections with high-value people. You couldn’t care less.
You’re quite happy reading a good book when you’re at home with red wine.
You’re at peace with your soul when you’re alone in a comfortable environment.
And this is enough in life for you.
This is why you’re happy to say no to social events with your friends or colleagues.
Let’s just put it this way:
You certainly don’t suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out).
12. You just don’t like a lot of people
Well, it’s true. For you, most people just aren’t worth knowing.
They’re stuck in their own concepts and self-limiting beliefs.
Let’s be honest, most people are focused on their appearance or increasing their social status.
And for you, that is boring and superficial.
You’d rather talk about deep and complex philosophy.
Unfortunately, you don’t meet many people who are capable of engaging with you.
Maybe it’s your complex mind.
Maybe it’s your introverted nature.
But it doesn’t change the fact that you prefer time alone to hanging out with ignorant low-vibration people.
In fact, a study found that extroverts are more interested and fascinated by humans than introverts.
This makes sense in that introverts are less motivated to socially interact with others.
In fact, the study found that when looking at the electrical activity of the brain, extroverts’ brains lit up when looking at pictures of people compared to their introverted counterparts.
13. You’re just more comfortable when you’re in your own company
Being in the presence of others tends to cause you anxiety and worry.
Because there is pressure to act a certain way to conform to social etiquette.
As a consequence, you lose a certain sense of control.
And you’re forced to behave in a way that’s different from your true self.
But when you’re alone?
That pressure goes out of the window. You don’t have to worry about what other people think of you and whether they are having a good time.
Why put yourself through symptoms of anxiety when you could just feel comfortable being by yourself?
But don’t get me wrong.
You do feel comfortable with some people, which tends to be your close circle of friends.
They’re the people you choose to hang out with when you want to spend time socializing.
But meeting new people and awkward first-time meetings?
No thanks. I’ll be at home pondering what happens at the event horizon of a black hole.
14. You don’t like getting close to others
Getting emotionally close to others is thwarted with danger in your mind.
Maybe it’s from past experience.
Or a general distrust in others.
But revealing yourself emotionally to others is a surefire way to give them too much power.
And when you feel strongly for someone else, they then have the capability to really hurt you with your actions.
This is not to say that you don’t get close to anyone.
But you’re very selective with who you choose to be close to.
So if someone is close to you and understands your vulnerabilities and darkest secrets, know that they’re probably a good person.
Because you’ve chosen them.
15. You require less stimulation
Extroverts love stimulation.
The right environment for an extrovert is a house party crammed in a room with lots of people and loud music blasting from huge speakers.
Rewards are everywhere. Conversations with many different people. New people to meet. It’s also a chance to elevate their status in the group.
Yep, extroverts are weird.
You see, the extrovert is completely energized at that party.
But you, an introvert? Not so much.
The stimulation is just too much, and you don’t see any potential gains from being there.
Meeting new people? Can’t be bothered.
Elevating your status? Elevating my what?
Sure, you do like having friends but you’d prefer a quiet environment where you can actually have a meaningful conversation.
16. You’re extremely loyal
You don’t very often have a wide social circle and if you do, you won’t you won’t be out every night of the week with large groups, lining up for the hottest club opening.
You instead seek out meaningful and trustworthy friends who you feel comfortable to welcome into the space and share details of your life with.
If you have a friend who likes to spend time alone, you can guarantee that this person will be there for you through thick and thin.
17. Surprise! You’re open to new ideas
Just because you cherish quiet time doesn’t mean you won’t do something new and exciting. You just make sure to have quiet time before taking the plunge into a highly social activity.
18. You have a level head
You spend so much quiet time on your own, taking the time to navigate and contemplate situations, problems, and to really tap into who you are and what you want.
You have a strong sense of self and a confidence that radiates from within.
When you’re feeling stressed or the weight of the world is closing in? You spend time alone to recharge instead of filling your day with distractions.
19. You are comfortable with your own thoughts
I’m sure we’ve all come across that person who can’t stand to be alone with their own thoughts.
People who like to spend time alone, particularly in the quiet, display a clear conscience and do not struggle with their inner thoughts.
Of course, we can all have down days but they tend to be able to navigate themselves out of any slump.
20. You understand the value of time. Yours and theirs.
You’ll notice a word that keeps coming up in each point. The word is ‘time’.
People who spend time alone understand and appreciate it’s value.
They put a high priority on making that time available in order for them to function at their highest level and best self; so, when you are giving of your time they understand what you’ve given up for them. They have a deep sense of making sure not to waste your time or to spend time with people who are wasting theirs.
21. You exercise strong boundaries
All of that time alone gives these people the space to think about what motivates them, what works and what doesn’t, and how to properly communicate this.
You’ll find that they have strong and healthy boundaries and they exercise their right to communicate these in a really healthy and clear manner. You might even call them an “old soul“.
Have your perceptions changed? Can you see any of these qualities in yourself or a friend?
We all have a different approach to life, celebrating our differences is what’s it’s all about.