“Your perception of me is a reflection of you” What does this mean?

Have you ever heard the quote, “Your perception of me is a reflection of you”?

If so, do you have any idea what it means?

Well, I have to be honest with you: understanding it can be quite a journey! But if you manage to do that, it can prove to be extremely useful.

We’ve got a lot to cover, so let’s begin!

Who said, “Your perception of me is a reflection of you”?

The quote “Your perception of me is a reflection of you” is attributed to Bobbi Chegwyn, also known as Coach Bobbi. She is an author, trainer, and speaker.

In addition, she is a relationship specialist who assists people in creating healthy relationships of all kinds – personal, professional, and intimate.

While her words are hard to decipher, they have a lot of meaning which makes them worth the effort needed to figure them out.

In this post, we’re going to dive into the meaning of the quote, “Your perception of me is a reflection of you” and determine whether there’s any truth to it.

But first,

What does “my perception of you” mean?

Let’s imagine that I’m feeling angry, and we’re both looking at a painting of a sunset.

What does my perception of the painting mean? Well, it refers to my opinion about the painting and it’s likely to be a lot less positive than yours.

In fact, there’s a good chance that my anger makes me see the painting as ugly and messy. At the very least, it might make me see it as unimpressive.

In other words, my perception of the painting is likely to be quite different from yours, even though we’re both looking at the same painting.

Why does this happen?

It happens because our emotions, ideas, and beliefs color how we see the world.

In my case, my anger is influencing how I see the painting. In your case, your positive outlook is likely to influence how you see the painting, as well.

This is a very important point: our emotions affect the way we perceive things and people.

So, for example, someone who believes that life is difficult might think that even a beautiful sunset isn’t really all that great.

At least, not as good as it could be in an ideal world. And someone with a positive outlook might find the sunset beautiful and inspiring.

What does “a reflection of me” mean?

Let’s get to the second part of this quote!

What it means is that your thoughts about someone (or something) are a reflection of you, not the other person or thing. When you have negative thoughts about someone, it’s often because you’re feeling negative or insecure about yourself.

If you think someone is selfish, it may be because you’re feeling a bit selfish.

On the other hand, when you think positively about someone, it’s usually because you’re feeling positive and confident in yourself.

In other words, your thoughts about someone are an expression of yourself. They’re a reflection of your own thoughts and feelings.

So, your perception of others is a reflection of you!

“Your perception of me is a reflection of you”? 8 possible meanings

1) Your perception of things and people is unique

One aspect of this quote is that your perception of things and people is unique to you. It is different from everyone else’s.

So, how you see a car, for example, will be different from how someone else sees it.

In fact, your perception of something may be so unique that only you can see it. Why?

Because it depends on you. It depends on your definition of a good car, for example.

What do you see when you look at it?

  • Maybe you see an old, rusty car as a piece of art.
  • Or, maybe you see it as a statement about something in your culture.
  • You might even see it as a pile of trash.

My point is that your perception is unique to you. It’s an expression of who you are.

The same goes for people. Let me explain:

There are so many types of people in the world.

Each type of person has their own personality and belief system.

But, you’ll still perceive everyone through your own lens, and you’ll have different perceptions of different people.

What do you see when you look at someone?

  • Maybe you see an athlete and think he or she is strong, fast, and graceful.
  • Or maybe you see a musician, writer, or actor and think he or she is creative, honest, and fun.
  • Maybe you see your boss as someone who’s fair but strict.
  • Or maybe you see your co-worker as a friend who’s always there for you when you need help.

My point? You see what you want to see in others and what you already know about them.

2) Your perception changes depending on your mood

Life is filled with ups and downs. When you’re feeling happy, you may see the world through rose-colored glasses.

When you’re feeling sad or stressed, you may perceive things and people in a very different way.

What does this mean?

This means that sometimes you will see things and people as better than they are, and sometimes as worse. In other words, your perception is flexible and changes depending on your mood.

For example, when you’re having a bad day, your perception of someone may be different than when you’re having a good day. That person might seem more negative or difficult when you’re in a bad mood.

However, when you’re having a great day, you’ll perceive that person as more positive and easy-going. It’s all about your attitude.

Be honest: do you really think you can always see the best in others? And are you convinced that you can think objectively and be impartial?

The truth is that when you’re in a bad mood, it’s likely that your perception of someone will be different than when you’re feeling good. You’ll see that person with more negativity and judgment, rather than with more positivity and understanding.

3) Your perception is an expression of who you are

Your perception of things and people isn’t just an expression of how you’re feeling. It’s an expression of who you are and what’s important to you, as well.

For example, when you perceive something as beautiful or ugly, it’s because it’s consistent with what you know and believe. In other words, your perception isn’t just about how you’re feeling; it also comes from your experience and knowledge.

Wouldn’t you say that an architect sees a building differently than most people?

Why? Because he or she is trained to see the building as a structure made of different materials.

Do you see the same thing when you look at a building?

Of course not. Your perception of it is unique to you, based on your understanding and background.

The same goes for perception in general. The perception you have of things and people is unique to you because it’s based on your experience and background. You see the world through your own eyes.

Have you ever wondered how much of the reality you perceive is actually real?

The truth is, most of it what we call reality is simply a construction of the mind. The good news?

You have the power to change it.

I learned this (and much more) from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandé. In this excellent free video, Rudá explains how you can lift the mental chains and get back to the core of your being.

A word of caution – Rudá isn’t your typical shaman.

He doesn’t bother with false promises or fake positivity.

Instead, he’s going to force you to look inwards. You’re going to face the real you and get to know that person much better. This isn’t always pretty, but it is powerful.

So if you’re ready to shed the reality forced onto you and create your own, check out his excellent advice below.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4) Your perception of someone can be wrong

This is another aspect of the quote that your perception of someone may be wrong. How so?

  • You might be misinterpreting what that person is saying or doing.
  • You might be misinterpreting their feelings, motivation, or personality.
  • You might be judging someone based on your own life experiences or cultural differences.

In other words, your perception (and thoughts) about someone may not be accurate. It may not be true to who they are and how they really act and feel.

That’s why your perception of someone is actually a reflection of you. Because you perceive them in a way that suits you.

So, ultimately, you may not be a good judge of character when it comes to other people. You’re not objective. And your perception of someone can be wrong.

Remember: Your perception is an expression of who you are.

5) You judge others based on your feelings

When you’re upset, you may lash out at those you love. Your feelings may be clouding your judgment, so you don’t realize what you’re doing.

At such times, you may be judging those you are closest to based on how you feel. At other times, you may be judging them based on what they’re doing or how they’ve acted before.

How are you supposed to judge someone if your perception of them is based on how you feel?

It’s impossible to assess someone’s character or personality when you’re judging them based on how you feel.

To be more precise, when you’re judging someone based on your feelings, you’re not really seeing who they are. You’re not thinking objectively or looking at the big picture.

6) Your perception can tell you a lot about yourself

Your perception of someone can reflect how you see yourself.

For example, if you see someone as annoying and difficult, it’s because you see yourself that way too.

Maybe you don’t like yourself and feel that others are judging you, so you’re judging them back. Or maybe there’s some other reason why your perception of someone is judgmental or negative.

When it comes to how you perceive someone else, the question isn’t just about them. It’s also about who you are and what’s important to you.

So what can you do to find out more about yourself and your perception?

Start by recognizing the incredible power within you.

You see, all of us have the potential to perceive reality as it is, but most of us don’t realize how easily we can achieve what we want.

I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. He’s dedicated his life to helping people restore balance to their lives and understand more about their perceptions.

But that’s not all…

Rudá isn’t just the average shaman. He uses an incredibly effective approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist. He knows how to tap into his pool of potential and power, and now he wants to share these life-changing methods with you.

In his excellent free video, Rudá shares the secret to putting your subjectivity aside and perceiving things and people without filtering them through your emotions.

So if you’re ready to make that change today, to put self-doubt behind you and start living your best life, you need to check out his genuine advice.

Click here to watch the free video.

7) You see others based on your past experiences

This goes back to the idea that you think and judge based on your own experience, beliefs, knowledge, and background.

It’s how you see the world through your own eyes. And if it’s how you see the world, it’s how you perceive others as well. Because they’re part of the world, too.

For example, if you grew up in a strict household and were given many rules, you may have certain expectations about how others should behave. And the same goes for people who grew up in a more relaxed environment.

The way you see others and the way you perceive them is based on your own experience and how you were raised. Because what you were exposed to was how you knew the world.

8) Your perception is subjective and limited

We believe that our perception is completely objective and impartial. But let’s be honest: it isn’t. In fact, your perception is subjective from the start. It’s limited, in other words.

Let’s take the same example: if you grew up in a more strict household with more rules about behavior and manners, that may influence how you see others. You may expect everyone else to behave in a certain way or to follow certain rules too.

What you think and feel doesn’t just come from yourself. It also depends on how you were raised and what you’ve experienced in life.

Why is your perception limited? It’s because you’re looking at things from one perspective and point of view. And that’s just one perspective and point of view out of many.

True, you may be seeing things that others aren’t. But you have only one perspective. You’re the one who’s looking at things that way.

So your perception is subjective and limited in many ways. It doesn’t just come from you; it comes from your experience and background as well.

Why is how we perceive ourselves so important?

So, now that you have a better idea of what the phrase “Your perception of me is a reflection of you” really means, you might be wondering why it’s so important.

Well, as I mentioned above, we see the world through the lens of our emotions, beliefs, and experiences. And, if we don’t understand that, it can lead to all kinds of problems.

For example, if you feel that someone is judging you, it can affect your self-esteem. It can make you shy away from certain people, or it can make you scared to speak up for yourself. It can cause a lot of insecurity and self-doubt.

But if you understand what the saying really means, it can help to keep your power in check. If you know how other people are seeing things from their own point of view, it will help to give you perspective.

What is your perception of yourself?

Self-perception is basically how you think and feel about yourself, based on your own life experiences. Self-perception is made up of things like self-esteem, confidence, attitude, and self-image.

To help you understand what your self-perception is made up of, we’re going to take a look at each one of these things in turn.

Your self-esteem is about how you rate yourself as a person.

For example, do you like yourself? Do you feel that you are valuable? Do you think that other people like you?

Your confidence is about how sure you feel about your ability to do things and deal with certain situations.

For example, do you trust that you can do things right the first time around? Do you have confidence in your ability to handle different situations?

Your attitude is about how you see yourself and the world.

For example, do you consider yourself a positive or negative person? Happy or sad? Excited or downtrodden? And so on.

Your self-image is about how you see yourself.

For example, are you outgoing? Are you confident? Are you full of energy?

All of these aspects can be influenced by how you were raised and what your life experiences have been like. So if you want to try and understand the way your self-perception is made up, it’s a good idea to take a look at where your life experiences come from.

Is what you do a reflection of who you are?

Here’s another great question: Is what you do a reflection of who you are? If you’re a kind, caring, and generous person, it’s likely that the answer is “Yes.”

However, if you’re someone who doesn’t care about others and only cares about what’s good for you, it’s unlikely that your actions will reflect those things.

Do your actions reflect who you are? Or are they only a reflection of your attitude?

Are you being kind, caring, and generous to others because that’s who you are, or because it’s good for you?

The way you act and treat others says a lot about who you are. It reveals what’s important to you.

What you say to others is a reflection of yourself?

In saying that what you say to others is a reflection of yourself, it’s not just about how you speak to others. It’s not just about how you speak to people that you know, like family. It also includes strangers and people that you don’t know too well.

Also, it’s not just what you say to other people verbally. Things like body language and the way that you look at them are also a reflection of who you are on the inside as well.

You see, when we meet someone for the first time, they may have a certain impression of us. And that impression isn’t just a reflection of what we look like and how we treat them. It’s also a reflection of themselves.

For example, let’s say that you meet someone new. They may think that you’re shy or a little bit nervous. And that may be because you give off those kinds of signals. It could also be something about the words and phrases that you use when talking to them.

Or, maybe what they’re seeing is their own shy and nervous behavior. So when they look at you, they’re seeing their own insecurities playing out.


The saying, “Your perception of me is a reflection of you”  is a powerful one.

It’s complicated, but it basically means one thing: the way that you see others is a reflection of yourself. And what they see in you is a reflection of themselves.

So it’s important that you try to see others for what they truly are. Try to see them for who they are, and not for who you think they are.

Confused about what to do next?

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It may tell you exactly what you need to know.


Daniela Duca Damian

Daniela Duca Damian

I’m Daniela, a passionate writer with an academic background in journalism. My work is based on research and facts. In recent years I have focused on the study of interpersonal relationships, analyzing, and writing about aspects related to social connections, romantic relationships, but also personal development. My goal is to decipher the most confusing concepts so that anyone who is interested in living a better and fulfilled life can apply them. When I’m not writing, I challenge my friends with meaningful questions about life.

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