Do you ever find yourself thinking about your ex out of the blue?
Maybe it’s been a couple of months since you broke up, or maybe it’s been a couple of years.
Regardless of how much time has passed, why your ex is on your mind again can be a confusing and frustrating experience.
If you find yourself wondering what is going on, these thoughts probably aren’t just a random occurrence; there’s likely an underlying reason for them.
Here are 10 common reasons why your ex might be on your mind again that might help you figure out what this means for you:
1) You have unresolved feelings
It’s possible that you are actually still in love with your ex even though you broke up.
If you never got closure with your ex, or if you don’t know why you broke up, you might have unresolved feelings that pop up when you think about them.
This may be especially true if you broke up with your ex under traumatic circumstances, or if one of you did something that caused the other person a great deal of pain.
If you have unresolved feelings, you might be thinking about them because you’re triggered by the situation you’re in now, or because you want closure.
If you want closure, you might think about your ex to remind them that you exist and that you want to talk about things.
Now: love is not the only unresolved feeling that could be causing these thoughts.
You see, you might still feel hurt or confused about what happened, and you might be thinking about your ex to try to figure things out.
If you’re having a hard time moving on, you might be thinking about your ex because you want to figure out why you aren’t over them yet.
This is a good thing, it means that you are in the process of resolving these feelings.
If you are having a hard time letting go, here are some things that might help:
- try to figure out what those unresolved feelings are
- talk to friends or family about those feelings
- give yourself time to heal
- try to distract yourself from your feelings
- meet new people and focus on being happy on your own
- do things that make you feel good about yourself
- forgive your ex for anything they might have done to you
But sometimes, our ex pops up in our mind because we simply miss them – no matter how long it has been since the breakup:
2) You miss them
If you miss your ex, it may be because you are not in a good relationship now, or because you miss the person you were when you were with them.
If you miss the person you were with your ex, you might simply have not found yourself outside of that relationship yet.
You might also miss the person they were when you were with them, and miss the way that relationship made you feel.
This is perfectly normal, especially if you broke up on good terms and you miss the partnership you had.
Missing your ex may also be a sign that you are not fully ready to move on.
If you are not ready to move on, you may miss your ex and think about them.
Now: moving on takes time and everybody does it on their own schedule.
One of the most important things to note is that it’s completely okay to miss your ex.
Missing your ex is a normal part of the healing process, and it doesn’t mean that you will never be over them.
It does, however, mean that you should not try to force yourself to accept their absence in your life if you are not ready to do so.
Remember: it’s okay to miss your ex.
However, you can choose how you deal with those emotions.
Are you reaching out to them? Are you going to distract yourself? Will you try to sit with those feelings and process them?
It’s up to you to decide how you want to handle those feelings.
If you miss your ex, reaching out to friends or people you love can really help in order to remind you how much love you still have in your life!
You can also distract yourself from those feelings, but try to do so in a healthy way.
For example, if you are missing your ex and want to distract yourself, you can try to take up a new hobby.
But here comes the freaky part: sometimes, your ex pops up in your mind out of the blue because they are the one who miss you!
3) They miss you
If your ex has been thinking about you and misses you, they might have unresolved feelings, or they may miss the friendship that you had.
They may be sad that you are no longer in their life, or they may just be in a place in their life where they miss your company.
They may miss you because they are not happy in their current relationship, and they are missing your friendship and what you had.
Now: I never understood how it would be possible for them to pop up in MY head when they are the ones missing me.
That’s until I talked to someone at Psychic Source, at least.
They explained to me that when your ex misses you, they send out a ton of energy your way.
The more they miss you, the more intense that energy will be.
Now: your subconscious mind can pick up on that energy, causing your ex to randomly pop into your mind out of nowhere!
I was completely shocked, but it made sense in some strange way!
If you want more clarity on that or even to get a reading to figure out if your ex actually misses you, click here.
The thing is, sometimes we simply haven’t fully let go of the relationship yet:
4) You still care about your ex
If you still care about your ex and want to be in a relationship with them, you might find yourself thinking about them a lot.
You might think about your ex so often because you want to be with them but can’t.
The thing is, just because two people break up doesn’t mean they stop caring about each other.
In fact, it is common to still care about your ex after a breakup.
You might also find yourself thinking about your ex because you are wondering how they are doing or because you miss them.
These are all normal things to think about your ex after a breakup.
However, if you find yourself constantly thinking about your ex, this can be an indication that you want to get back together with them.
A part of you still cares about them and wants them to be safe and happy.
That’s actually something interesting that can happen as well: sometimes, when you had a really deep bond with your ex, you might still feel when they are in distress, even if you have broken up a while ago!
That’s because your energetic bond is still there and so when they aren’t feeling well, they might pop up in your head.
That’s a really interesting thing to think about!
However, that’s the best-case scenario, some breakups are rather traumatic:
5) The breakup was traumatic
If your relationship ended in a traumatic way, such as one partner cheating or one partner abusing the other partner, you may be thinking about your ex out of the blue because of the lingering trauma and feelings you have from that time.
You might be having nightmares or other dreams or thoughts where you are re-experiencing the trauma and thoughts you had during that time.
The thing is, you might be having thoughts about your ex because you blame them for the trauma you went through, or because you still have unresolved feelings about what happened.
If the breakup was traumatic, you might want to talk to a therapist about the trauma and your thoughts about your ex.
You see, when we go through something traumatic, those feelings don’t just go away.
They linger for a while and sometimes it can be hard to process those feelings.
Therefore, it might help to talk about them with a therapist.
A therapist can help you process your feelings and get to the bottom of why you are having thoughts about your ex.
It’s often not that you want to get back together with them, but that you are still having unresolved feelings about what happened.
This is something that can be addressed by talking to a professional who can help you work through your feelings so that they don’t come up in your thoughts out of the blue anymore!
The good news?
These thoughts can also indicate someone new entering your life:
6) You are about to meet someone new
If you start thinking about your ex shortly before you meet a new person, you may be subconsciously preparing yourself for meeting this new person.
You may be thinking about your ex because you are worried you won’t find a new relationship, or because a part of you knows you need to let go of the relationship in order to move on with this new person.
When you think about your ex, you can prepare yourself for meeting the new person and it will help you figure out how you feel about your ex.
If you are about to meet someone new, you might also find yourself thinking about your ex because you are wondering if you made the right choice or if you should have stayed in your previous relationship.
Now: this random thought that pops into your mind might also be the universe’s way of saying goodbye to your ex for good because you are about to meet someone who will be much better for you than they were!
All in all that’s a great sign, you can get excited!
Sometimes, however, the reason for those random thoughts are more logical:
7) Something reminds you of them
If something reminds you of your ex, it may bring up memories of them, or it may trigger the feelings that you had when something happened with them.
If you are around your ex’s friends or family, you might find yourself thinking about your ex because those people make you think about your ex.
If you see something that reminds you of your ex, such as a picture, a shirt, or a room you were in with them, it might trigger thoughts about them.
If something reminds you of your ex, you might want to explore what that means for you.
You see, it’s completely normal to think about someone when you are reminded of them in some way or another.
This doesn’t mean anything about your feelings.
However, you can see how those thoughts then make you feel! Have you moved on from your ex? Or are you still holding on to feelings for them?
Speaking of holding on, sometimes not even a new relationship can prevent that:
8) You are comparing a new partner to your ex
If you are in a brand new relationship, you might be comparing your new partner to your ex.
If you are comparing your new partner to your ex, you might be doing that on purpose to help you decide what it is that you want in a relationship, or you may not be aware of what you are doing.
If you are comparing your new partner to your ex, you might find yourself thinking about your ex out of the blue because you are comparing the two of them in your head.
This can happen completely on a subconscious level – you might not even realize that you are doing it.
It is very natural, though – you are trying to assess how your new partner is doing in certain areas, and you are comparing them to your ex to see where they fall short.
This is a good thing! It means that you are taking your relationships seriously and are trying to figure out what it is that you want in a partner!
However, people are very different and you shouldn’t necessarily compare your partner to your ex because they are completely different people.
If you are comparing your new partner to your ex, you might want to consider why that is happening.
It could be because you are still in love with your ex and you are trying to find reasons not to be with your new partner anymore, or it could be because you are not over your ex and this is a way of holding on.
You may want to learn more about what those feelings mean for you before making any decisions about the future of your relationship!
Sometimes, those thoughts can be a nudge from our intuition:
9) They are about to reach out to you
If your ex is about to reach out to you, they might be feeling the same things that you are feeling and want to talk to you about it.
They might have new feelings they want to express to you, they might have new questions they want answered, or they might just want to catch up.
If your ex is about to reach out to you and you want to talk to them, you might find yourself thinking about them out of the blue so you can prepare yourself for when they contact you.
This is a very interesting phenomenon – kind of like when you think of someone right as they call you.
It means that your intuition is spot-on and you will probably be able to talk to your ex and see what they want.
If your ex wants to reach out to you, they might miss you or want closure in some way, so they can move on.
Whatever it is, it’s a great opportunity for you to prepare yourself emotionally!
And the best part?
You might finally be ready to move on…
10) You are ready to move on
If you have been thinking about your ex out of the blue, it could be because you are ready to move on and have been subconsciously preparing yourself to do so.
You might be ready to move on from your ex because you are ready to date again, or because you have processed your emotions about your relationship and your ex.
You see, if you are ready to move on from your ex, you may be thinking about them because you want that last bit of closure, or because you want to remind yourself of them one last time because you know you are about to move on fully.
Moving on is a big thing, and sometimes, we know instinctively when we’re ready to do so.
All of a sudden, we will know in our hearts that we are no longer tied to this person!
Exes popping into your mind can be confusing and frustrating, but it doesn’t have to be a cause for alarm.
When you know why this is happening, it can help you figure out what you need to do next and move forward with your life.
Remember that you always have the choice to think about your ex, or not.
And once you know why you have been thinking about them, you can then use that knowledge to decide what to do with those thoughts and help you move on.
When you are ready to move on, it can be helpful to talk to a friend, write in a journal, or go for a walk.
Either way, you are on the right path and you will feel a lot better very soon!