Why are twin flames scared of each other? The brutal truth

Twin flames aren’t scared of each other, I mean, they are meant for one another, so what is there to be afraid of, right?


A lot of twin flames are terrified of each other. Let’s dive into the reasons why!

Why are they so scared?

First, let’s find out the root cause of their fear.

What is there to be so scared about?

There are many reasons why twin flames are scared of each other, and it’s obviously a very individual experience.

It all depends on their personalities, as well as past traumas.

If you think a normal relationship is challenging and hard, multiply that by 10 when it comes to twin flame relationships!

These relationships are extremely triggering, hence the initial unwillingness to really commit to it all.

A few common reasons for twin flame fear are:

1) They are scared of change

The first reason why twin flames are scared of each other is a classic one. They are scared of change. 

Fear of change is as old as the human race itself and for good reason.

We are scared of the unknown because we can’t predict what is gonna happen.

This hesitant approach is literally programmed into our brains, so it’s not necessarily your fault if you are scared.

If you think I am joking – there is evidence that even when you’re, let’s say, in a really abusive situation, you might subconsciously choose to stay there, because as silly as it sounds, the abusive situation seems safer to your brain than its “unknown” alternative.

Change is scary, that’s for sure, and twin flame relationships bring about tons of change.

Apart from the obvious personal changes, did you know those twin flame relationships can also bring about body changes? You can read more about that here. 

Although this big change is scary, it’s important to face that fear in order to grow.

Ironically, apart from being afraid of change, fear of transformation and growth can be another reason twin flames are scared of each other.

That brings me to my next point:

2) They don’t want to go through transformation and growth

Technically, we all say we want to grow, learn, and evolve, but how much do we really want it?

You might be surprised by how hesitant some people are to actually do the work and grow. 

It’s no surprise, really, after all, you need to be vulnerable in order to see where you can improve.

Your ego is a very stubborn friend, believe me, and it tries with all its might to fight any kind of transformation.

When your twin flame starts to break down your insecurities, your ego might feel attacked and cause you to hide your feelings.

In that case, a twin flame might try everything in their might to escape the discomfort of vulnerability, including feeling scared out of their mind.

3) They are in the twin flame fear phase

There is a phase in the twin flame relationship called the twin flame fear phase or also called the runner-chaser phase. 

This phase usually comes after the initial honeymoon phase of meeting your twin.

At first, things go extremely well, you can’t believe your luck with meeting them.

Then, when you get to know each other better, problems tend to arise.

One of the twins might not have resolved their emotional trauma and conflicts yet, causing them to be scared of love. (In reality, they are scared of rejection and abandonment)

Of course, these fears breed insecurity, so when someone comes along with a connection as intense as a twin flame’s, they are overwhelmed.

Because of that, they ironically start to run from the connection in an attempt to find themselves.

No matter how much they run, they can’t forget about their twin. 

This whole process can be incredibly challenging for both twins, and it can hurt a lot.

Eventually, the mere exhaustion from trying to avoid the relationship will make them realize that there is no point in running.

It doesn’t matter how much they resist, the universe ultimately finds a way to bring them back together.

Once they give in to their feelings, all conflicts suddenly dissolve.

4) It’s easy for them to hurt each other

Last but not least, another reason for twin flames to be scared of each other, is because of how easy it is for them to hurt each other.

This might sound weird at first, but there are a few reasons how twin flames can hurt each other:

  • You feel what the other person feels

This is a widely-known characteristic of twin flame relationships: 

You start to feel everything they feel, whether that’s positive like joy and happiness, or all the nitty-gritty stuff like anxiety, stress, frustration, anger, etc.

Unfortunately, that’s one of the most common reasons twin flames hurt each other, and it’s inevitable.

No wonder people are scared of that!

It can be incredibly overwhelming to experience so many emotions at the same time.

Just know that none of what you’re feeling is dumped onto you intentionally by your twin.

What is happening is completely normal, and sooner or later, you will get used to it!

  • Twin flame separation 

Another way twin flames hurt each other, which can cause a lot of fear, is, of course, twin flame separation. 

Crossing paths with your twin flame is not an automatic lifetime guarantee of the relationship.

Quite the contrary, many twin flame relationships experience a stage of twin flame separation.

Sometimes, your twin flame relationship has served its purpose in your life and so you part ways.

This stage is extremely painful, and although some twin flames end up reuniting again eventually, others do not.

Sometimes the reasons for separation can also be external, like one of you being in a relationship.

As hard as it can be, separation is not necessarily a bad thing.

For most twin flames it’s an excellent opportunity to grow and evolve on their own, implementing the lessons from the relationship.

If you are scared of twin flame separation, just know that if it’s meant to be, your twin will find their way into your life again.

  • You are both still healing

Sometimes, twin flames hurt each other because you are both still in the process of healing past traumas.

Healing is not easy, and oftentimes, it can lead you to hurt your partner unintentionally.

The wounds that were opened can trigger you in ways you didn’t think possible.

This is nothing to be afraid of, though. Of course, it’s uncomfortable and it will be painful, but your twin flame is there for you to support you on your healing journey.

If you’re both afraid to open up to each other and be vulnerable, it will be all the more challenging.

Try to open up your heart and trust your twin flame.

How does fear affect the twin flame relationship?

Now we established that there are quite a few reasons why twin flames are scared of each other, but how does that fear affect their relationship?

As you can probably imagine, fear is not the greatest ingredient in a loving relationship. In fact, fear blocks your awareness of love!

There are a few ways fear directly affects your twin flame relationship:

1) It brings out your ego

First of all, fear often brings our egos to the surface. 

The feelings that tend to arise with the ego are jealousy, impatience, hopelessness, confusion, judgment, guilt, and inadequacy.

Know that all of these emotions are a product of your own fear, not a direct consequence of your relationship.

2) Fear can tempt you to relieve it somehow

Another way fear can affect your twin flame relationship is that fear can tempt you to relieve it in one way or another, which can negatively affect your connection.

This “reliever” could be anything like:

  • Food
  • Alcohol
  • Drugs
  • Caffeine
  • binge-watching shows
  • keeping yourself busy

And many more!

If that’s the case in your relationship, you need to get honest with yourself.

No matter what you do, you will not get rid of that fear. Quite the opposite, all you really do is numb it, but you will still feel that subconscious nagging!

Another problem with numbing out the fear is that it’s hard to selectively numb feelings, so instead, you just numb everything, even all the positive emotions.

3) Fear can dampen your intuition

Not only will you sever the connection to your twin flame when you are overly scared, but you will also become less aware of your intuition. 

Your intuition, or inner guidance, is an important tool that will not just help you with your relationship, but with all of life in general!

4) Fear can distract you

When you’re very afraid in your relationship, you will not have the mental capacity to do the inner work you are actually meant to do!

Fear is an excellent distraction and will prolong all the work you will ultimately have to do, anyways.

5) Fear can stop a happy ending

No matter what obstacles are thrown in your way, a twin flame relationship can master it all together.

In the end, the only thing that could kill a relationship like that is fear.

The good news? Only one of you being in fear is not enough to stop the relationship, so the power is ultimately in your hands!

If you choose to get out of your fear, you can single-handedly save the relationship!

Steps you can take to be less scared

So, have you found yourself terrified in your relationship with your twin flame?

Or do you notice that your twin is scared?

Don’t worry, there are some practical steps you can start taking today to alleviate that fear a bit!

Step 1: Understand, don’t react

The first step you need to take to get rid of your fear is understanding the “fight or flight” modus you or your partner is in.

This will help you not to be reactive or resentful towards it, and cope with it much better.

Step 2: Know the signals

Try and get to know the signals you or your twin show when you are in a state of fear.

You will most probably feel their emotions and vice versa.

Once you know the signals, try to be as productive as possible when you become aware of them.

Step 3: Focus on growth

Taking steps in order to grow as a person is a very productive step you can take to fight the fear.

This will also inspire growth in your twin, and your elevated emotions will pull them up with you!

Step 4: Trial and error

This whole process is about trial and error. Keep on trying to better your life and your spirituality.

Find out along the way what works for you and your twin and what doesn’t.

The mistakes are inevitable, but you can use them productively and learn from them!

Step 5: Let go of time

Once you let go of the preconceived notion that things have to happen in a specific time period, things will start to shift.

Ironically, being so stressed about quickly getting rid of the fear just hinders your progress altogether!

To practice letting go of your analytical left brain half a bit, you can try meditation and manifestation!

Fear is holding you back

The moral of the story? Fear is only holding you back from realizing the highest potential of your twin flame relationship.

Don’t despair, being scared is completely normal and is not a sign that there is anything wrong with you.

But once you are aware of your own fear, it is up to you to do something about it.

Simply sitting around and waiting for things to get better will do you no good.

Follow the action steps and take your twin flame relationship fate into your own hands!

Fear is what you make it – you can let it make you suffer, or you can use it as a catalyst for change. 

Can a gifted advisor help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to someone with special intuition.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Psychic Source when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into what my future holds, and the confidence to make the right decisions when it comes to love.

If you haven’t heard of Psychic Source before, it’s a site where gifted advisors help people through complicated and difficult life situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a highly intuitive psychic and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my psychic was.

Click here to get started.

Anna Scheucher

Anna Scheucher

Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Check out my blog to find out more https://www.fullyholistic.com/!

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