Finding your twin flame is a milestone moment.
For me, it was like seeing my own reflection and all my best potential reaching fruition.
However, there’s a big problem:
My twin flame doesn’t believe in twin flames.
Why does it matter?
If you’ve ever met your twin flame then you know why it matters.
A twin flame is somebody you’re connected to deeply:
Emotionally, psychologically, intellectually, physically…
When you find that smoldering bond it feels like your prayers have all been answered.
The time you spend together seems timeless, profound, and mystical. It’s like you were created in the same soul factory and your settings match perfectly.
In fact, even the imperfections make it somehow even more perfect…
But to hear that they don’t feel the same way – or don’t even believe in the concept can be a real downer.
That’s when you begin to doubt…to question…and to despair.
But there is hope, so read on…
What to do if your twin flame is unawakened
1) Make sure they’re for real
The twin flame connection is undeniable, powerful, and enduring.
So it stands to reason that you’ll know it when you find it.
But sometimes it is possible to misfire and think you’ve found a twin flame when really you’ve just found someone who’s very attractive to you…
Or even someone who taps into unresolved codependency and traumas that you’re carrying.
Many spiritual teachers believe that twin flames are people we’re connected to stretching back eons and through past lives.
I think that’s fully possible.
But we’re also connected to many “almost” twin flames. They’re also important guiding lights on our life journey, but they’re not “the one.”
Make sure you can tell which they are.
2) Love yourself first
I know that it’s become a cliche to tell people to love themselves first, but it’s true.
If your twin flame doesn’t believe in twin flames, this is your chance to believe in yourself and the connection even more.
The fact that they are out of the loop does not mean you need to give up or forfeit your future happiness.
In many cases, it could signal that you’re not integrated right now, or even in some scenarios it can be a sign that your twin flame is not meant to be with you in this life.
“Because you’re not in alignment right now. Or, you might not be twins. Perhaps it is not your destiny this lifetime to be together,”
“However, just remember that you are always together in the spirit realm and it is indeed a sacred contract you can break if you wish. You are your own person.”
3) Let them run themselves out
The most unpredictable part of the twin flame process is finding your twin flame.
From that point onwards you at least know where you’re at and the bond that you have.
If they don’t believe in it, or they aren’t very interested in exploring it, many spiritual teachers call this a “runner.”
A runner gets scared of the intensity of the connection and bolts for the horizon.
The raw honesty and vulnerability of the twin flame connection frighten them so they try to take an easy out.
It doesn’t mean your bond isn’t real or that it won’t pan out in the future; it simply means that for now they are going through their own struggle.
“Once you have connected with your twin, the journey is in motion. Twin flames’ systems are designed to purge all blocks to love, so the two can reunite in unconditional love – not just as souls, but as human beings.
However in the case of one Twin being a ‘runner’ this process can be stalled through the person seeking to escape the connection and hide from the strength of their bond.”
4) Diversify your portfolio
The last thing you want to do when dealing with a stubborn twin flame is focused on something else.
However, I would strongly encourage you to start dating other people, making new friends or at least spending more time on recreation and social activities.
If your twin flame doesn’t recognize or admit the power of your connection there’s not a hell of a lot you can do in that instant.
Your main possibility at this point is to show him or her that you’re ready to move on.
Not as an invalidation of the bond you share, but as a validation of yourself and your need for clarity.
Your twin flame will reassess when they see you sharing your light with someone else.
5) Meditate and do breathwork
If you haven’t tried breathwork, I highly recommend it. And let’s not forget the power of meditation as well.
As a connection between the autonomic and somatic systems, breathing is both mysterious and life-changing.
You don’t have to consciously breathe, but learning to do so can be an absolute game-changer.
You begin to become more unified with the world around you and realize the immense potential inside yourself and all life.
It’s quite something.
This free shamanic breathwork masterclass led by the shaman Rudá Iandê is an optimal place to start.
Twin flames are our mirror, and when they’re out of alignment with us it’s often because we’re out of alignment with ourselves.
“Remember that your twin flame is your mirror, and their purpose is to show you the things that are holding you back, like your fears and insecurities, so that you can work through them, grow, and come out stronger on the other side.”
If there is a disconnect it can actually be a chance for you to grow and confront your own inner insecurities, blockages, and traumas – especially that core fear of abandonment and unworthiness that plagues so many of us.
6) Don’t force it
One of the most tempting responses to a twin flame who doesn’t buy into the concept or believes your connection is just average is to force it.
You beg them, pressure them, love bomb them, and so forth…
This is absolutely the wrong approach and runs a serious risk of turning them into a runner.
You need to resist the impulse to try to control everything about your twin flame or their response to you.
Even if they are your twin flame, they’re not your personal property.
“I just wanted to shake him and say: ‘You’re a twin flame, you’re a twin flame! How do you not know this?
How do you not know everything that’s happening right now? Because it’s beautiful and amazing. And I just want to scream and grab you and put you in my pocket.’”
7) Let them come to you
Even if your twin flame doesn’t believe in twin flames, they’re eventually going to feel that fire.
In fact, chances are they already do.
There’s no guarantee they will end up with you.
But there is a guarantee that you’re going to be on their mind and in their heart.
And more often than not that can lead to a homecoming with your twin flame that’s really special.
If it’s real, then even their own lack of belief is going to eventually be overshadowed by their desire to be around you and connect with you.
Your job is to have faith and remain outcome non-dependent.
This is easier said than done, of course, but the good news is that the underlying power of a twin flame connection is real whether or not both individuals recognize it.
Having a twin flame by your side is a beautiful thing.
But if your twin flame is unawakened, then he or she may not be ready yet to share their life journey with you.
I know that in my case I’ve come to accept the situation and work on myself instead.
I’m letting the pain sharpen my will and determination instead of causing me to give up…
While I’ve accepted that my twin flame and I may not be destined to be together in this life journey, I’ve also learned that the value of our connection isn’t diminished in any way due to that either.
And if you’re facing a similar challenge then I sympathize and understand.
The truth is this:
The only real step you can take at that point is to work on yourself and get in touch with your own inner core.
Your twin flame will come when the universe flows in that direction.
Until then, think of your twin flame in a compassionate and loving light and let them keep going on their path until they’re ready to come your way once again.