If the woman in your life isn’t showing you the respect you deserve, you’ve got to do something about it, and soon.
Simply ignoring her won’t make her behavior change. So in this article, I’m going to share 10 important things to do when a woman doesn’t respect you.
Let’s get straight into it:
Here are 10 things you can do:
1) Seek to understand
If you have seen signs of your partner disrespecting you at one point or another in your relationship, don’t simply jump to conclusions.
Strive to be more empathetic towards your woman. Put yourself in her shoes. Seek to learn and understand why she’s behaving that way towards you.
Perhaps she had a rough day. Maybe somebody made her angry at work and she didn’t manage it well or it’s that time of the month.
You want to make sure you’re there for her, so step into your role and be her hero.
If you want to know more about this hero instinct you and the rest of the male population have, I recommend that you watch this video presentation.
However, it’s not enough to see it from her side.
It’s equally important to spend a little time to reflect on your attitude towards situations where you’ve felt disrespected by your woman.
Why do you feel disrespected when she does or says these things? How have you been behaving towards her? Could it be that you’re also going through some changes or situations that trigger behaviors towards her as well?
Remember, a sensible doctor diagnoses a situation first before taking out his prescription pad.
Relationships are never one-sided. For you to be well-adjusted as a couple, you have to work and learn to understand each other more as time goes by.
2) Call her out
Calling out your woman about her behavior can be tricky. The last thing you want to happen is to end up in an argument that unearths deep-seated issues that go way back from the start of your relationship.
You need to speak up for yourself so she can be aware that what she’s doing or saying is bothering you. If you let the moment pass every time, it would seem as if you were okay with it.
How will she know she’s doing something that offends you?
Stay calm when you call her attention. Say something like, “Please stop doing that. I find it disrespectful,” or “Please don’t talk to me that way. It’s disrespectful.”
She may or may not be reactive to what you’re saying but at least you put your foot down.
Remember to be tactful with your woman throughout the conversation. Use a respectful tone to express how you feel.
Also, be aware of your body language when you talk to her. Keep your arms open and try to stay relaxed. You don’t want to have this conflicting image of you opening up to her while your body is closed off.
3) Talk it out
It can be challenging if you and your woman have already set the dynamic of your relationship very early on. But it’s not too late.
Communication is a key component of a successful relationship.
If she’s not aware that she’s been disrespecting you, it’s about time that you speak up.
Find ways to express yourself to make sure she knows how you’re feeling. One effective way is to take down notes. Be as detailed as possible with timelines and critical incidents where you felt disrespected. Treat it like a journal, if you must. The point is to let it all out.
When you feel you’re ready, ask for some time to talk. Make sure to set the tone of the conversation before anything else.
More importantly, make it a point to let her know that what you’ll share with her comes from a good place and you have no intention of hurting her. Don’t worry if your woman is highly sensitive. Go for it. She still deserves your honesty.
4) Establish boundaries
People have their own limits. The problem is, they assume their limits apply to everyone else. So the consequence of not having that uncomfortable conversation about boundaries may cost the relationship more than it should.
Are you aware of your boundaries? Do you know what triggers you? If you don’t, it’s most likely that your woman doesn’t either.
Now is the time to define them.
Make a list of your boundaries, especially when you have difficult conversations. It could be anything around physical mental or even emotional limits.
When you talk with your woman, make sure to be clear about each personal limit. Give examples to give her a clearer picture of what are and aren’t okay with you. Then share with her your thoughts on how you hope she could behave towards you.
Boundaries are good. And if you and your woman can nurture your relationship within these defined limits, you get to nurture the essential values of any romantic partnership: respect, kindness, and generosity.
5) Take a break
When you feel a lot of tension in your relationship, especially when it comes to respect and boundaries, taking a break from it can help clear your mind and look at it with fresh eyes.
If you decide on taking that break, be clear on what you mean by it and why you’re doing it. You don’t want to close her off completely, but you can’t be checking in on her half of the time. It defeats the purpose of having time apart to think things over on your own.
In reassessing your feelings about her and your relationship, try to remember if there are some consistencies where your woman disrespects you.
How many times in a day do you feel disrespected? Did it occur just this one time, or is it more regular than that? Has your woman been disrespecting you since the very start of your relationship?
Also, make sure to ask yourself questions that can elicit truth and get to the bottom of how you really feel.
How do you feel when she disrespects you? Why do you think she does that? Are there any underlying issues in your relationship? Do you really think you’re compatible?
It would be a good thing if your woman took the time apart to reassess her feelings, too. So when you’re ready and decide to talk, both of you can have that heart-to-heart talk that may have been overdue.
Coming back from a break can lead to a reset in the relationship. You can start over again and take it slow. But be mindful that a break can also lead to breaking up. Either way, don’t forget that the break did both of you good.
6) Consider therapy for yourself.
When your woman doesn’t respect you, it may be because you have some underlying self-esteem issues you weren’t aware of. And while there are many ways to help build your self-esteem, sometimes it’s okay to seek professional help.
There is no shame in talking with, and getting the support of a medical professional to sort yourself out. You can get the proper support you need from therapy to get rid of any negative mindset you didn’t know you brought into your relationship.
You need to start feeling and believing you’re a worthy person, worthy of respect and compassion.
Going to therapy may simply mean you just need someone to talk to. It provides an avenue for you to have a sounding board when things are stressful.
Later on, you may want to consider going through relationship therapy with your woman. Having a neutral party around your discussions can provide the same sounding board experience, which can allow both of you to make new realizations about your relationship.
Expect more talking and more difficult conversations. But when you know you’re committed for the long haul, the process will be worth it.
7) Shift your priorities to other things
It’s never a good feeling when your woman disrespects you. And when you have very strong feelings for her, it can be difficult to pull the reins. You tend to overlook a lot of things when you’re in love.
Shifting your priorities can help “offset” your relationship.
It’s not about making her less important in your life. The reason why you want to do this is because she is.
Focusing on other things can be healthy for you. Now, she may think that she’s not the center of your life anymore. While that may not be true, it may bring some good to the relationship.
Shifting priorities won’t be easy, but it will help clear the air of any tension.
Why don’t you go back to doing things when you weren’t together? Stay out with a few friends. Go home and visit some relatives. Spend some good quality “me” time.
Make your woman feel that you have more important things to do than sit there and tolerate her behavior.
8) Talk to a friend
There are certain situations in life where you need your trusted friends to lean on. And when it comes to matters of the heart, expect them to come running along at your first call.
When you find yourself struggling with your relationship, consider talking to a couple of friends about it. There’s no shame in admitting to them that you have relationship problems. If anything, they may be the ones who know you better than anyone.
You’ll get perspective, sound advice, and more importantly, they can listen to you without judgment.
Give yourself time to open up. Don’t worry, they will wait for you. They understand that relationship issues aren’t the easiest stories to share with people, even with those who know you well.
While considering the advice given by your friends, don’t just blindly follow them.
Sure, you and your friends have been through a lot of good and bad times together. But remember, the only people who really know anything about your relationship are you and your woman.
Take the advice of your friends with a grain of salt. From there, with some self-reflection, make your decision about how to go forward.
9) Hold your tongue
Silence can speak volumes.
When your woman doesn’t respect you, you can still be a gentleman and show respect by keeping quiet. It may be hard to resist especially when you’re in the middle of a heated conversation, but it’s a good way to keep negative emotions at bay.
Not engaging with her doesn’t mean you refuse to enter into any form of meaningful dialogue. It’s more about self-preservation.
Giving someone the silent treatment is often used to manipulate the person. It seems simple, but it’s often done by people who are usually passive-aggressive.
You don’t want to strain your relationship more than it already is. And being quiet allows a good break in between the exchanges of words.
In the heat of things, it’s always better to keep your calm and hold your tongue. It shows greater strength not to let your emotions rule over you, rather than flying off the handle in retaliation.
10) Walk away
When you love your woman, you want to be with them. You justify their behavior, no matter how bad. But not all relationships are meant to be. You can’t force a square peg into a round hole.
Breaking up is never easy, especially when you love her.
You may be so stuck in anger and resentment you didn’t know you had, that you don’t want to give up. Or perhaps you feel ashamed and feel that the only way to earn respect is to get it from the very person who will never be able to give it to you.
Maybe you feel you’ve wasted a lot of time trying to make the situation work and that’s hard to walk away from. Or simply, you just love her, and you’d rather have all the hard times with her than to be apart.
What good will that do for you, though? Are you willing to sacrifice your self-worth and dignity for someone who cannot respect you?
You are worthy of a kind and loving relationship. You deserve to be with someone who truly cares for you.
If you’re decided to call it quits, do it as any gentleman would.
Give due respect to your woman by making time to explain why you’re letting her go. Tell her what she did wrong and how she screwed up. Let her at least learn from her mistakes.
Before leaving, hear her out. Be open to hear what she has to say. Even if she tries to convince you that she’ll do better, you owe it to her to let her talk.
If you feel that, in the future, there may be a chance to reconnect, be honest about it. You don’t want to burn bridges just because things didn’t work out this time around.
What goes around, comes around
Respect is an essential component of every healthy relationship, yet it’s absolutely vital for the long-lasting success of a romantic relationship. If your woman doesn’t respect you, it’s because you’re allowing her to do so.
When you don’t tell her about what you don’t like, and you don’t let her see the repercussions when you feel disrespected, she won’t feel the incentive to change.
You can’t stop your woman from behaving badly but you can control how you respond to her actions.
Know that you have an inner voice that tells you when you need to have a difficult conversation with your woman — a conversation that, if it took place, could improve your relationship by leaps and bounds.
Be honest with yourself before anything else. Value your worth as a person.
When you’ve come to terms with your own issues, you can then be honest with your her.
Call her out. And when you do, do it with kindness and respect.
Be truthful in your conversations. And when things get heated up, stop talking. If you must, take a break for a couple of days to collect yourself.
If you need help, call your friends. Or a therapist. Either way is good for you.
The point is, you have to love and respect yourself first, so she can do the same for you.