When your twin flame decides to throw their feelings into the wind and run, it can get really painful.
Fortunately, there are some things you can do in this time of separation!
1) Understand why they are running
First and foremost, having an understanding of your twin flame’s actions will ultimately help you with the following steps you can take after they leave.
Trust me, nothing is worse than a lack of closure.
Did your twin tell you why they are leaving? Some people do, others just run without an explanation.
A few common reasons for a twin flame runner to abandon the relationship are:
- They feel undeserving of the love
- They have low self-esteem
- They are afraid you will hurt or leave them
- They don’t understand the relationship or their feelings
- They feel the immense power of emotions, but they are scared
- They can’t believe that somebody could possibly love them as much as you
Did you notice a common denominator with all of these reasons?
None of them are about you!
When a twin flame runs, it is almost never about the other person, and always about them and their issues with themselves.
Really internalizing the fact that nothing is wrong with you will help you immensely with moving through the next steps.
But not just that, understanding where your twin is coming from might also help you support them if they want you to.
Some ways you can help them are:
- Reassurance: reassure your twin that you will not leave and that you love them no matter what
- Be there for them when they need you
- Offer them help without asking for anything in return
- Work on yourself to help your twin
2) Know that you are whole without them
You understand why they are running and you’re trying to make peace with this new reality. What now?
The situation you’re in may trigger feelings of loneliness and disconnection in you.
In my own experience, the entire concept of twin flames often suggests that you are not whole without your twin.
That is simply not true.
Your twin is your mirror soul, but that doesn’t mean that there is an inherent lack in you without them.
It might be hard to see right now, especially in the heat of the emotions, but anything you will ever need can already be found within you!
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Sure, relationships are important, and so is connection, but you don’t need them to be happy.
I will tell you a little secret:
Relationships make it easy to feel in love, and we give all the credit to our partners for making us feel that way.
The reality? All that love was always within you, you just simply decided to tap into it now that you were with a person you really liked.
What if I tell you that you can access this abundance of love with or without a partner?
Trust me when I say that this is the secret to realizing that you don’t need anyone to complete you because there is nothing missing from you.
On top of that, coming to this realization will also help you with making your future relationships a lot more healthy and loving!
The relationship with yourself is the most important one you will ever be in, and it will shape all the other connections in your life.
Nurturing this bond with yourself will help you tremendously.
3) If you love something, let it go…
You might have heard the saying “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it is yours forever.”
The same can be applied to your current situation.
If a twin flame decides to run, trying to hold on to them will ultimately just push them further away.
Give your twin the time and space to figure out their emotions.
Do you believe that your connection is true and genuine? Then they will come back eventually.
Think about it: do you really want to be with someone you have to hold on to and keep restrained because you are afraid that they will leave if you don’t?
That is not a relationship anyone deserves to be in.
If they are the one, like you think they are, then they will not make you feel like you need to control them.
Maybe they aren’t ready yet, or maybe they aren’t who you thought they were.
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Either way, you deserve more than having to convince someone to be with you.
Let them go, if it’s meant to be, they will come back, and if not, you dodged a bullet.
4) Focus on yourself
Twin flame separation is known to be a time of self-improvement.
Whether your twin comes back or not, you will never regret using this time to focus on yourself, believe me.
Relationships are amazing, but sometimes they lead us to put our own priorities on the backburner for a while.
Especially twin flame relationships have a tendency to become all-consuming and sometimes unhealthy.
Now you finally have time and space for your own thoughts, feelings, and goals.
Turn your focus away from them and back to yourself.
Some things you can try are:
- Practicing self-love
- Journaling your thoughts
- Spending more time in stillness
- Going out into nature more
- Doing the things you loved doing before meeting them
- Pursuing some personal goals
All of these practices will help you remember what an amazing human being you are.
Sometimes we forget ourselves a bit when in a relationship. This will help you get to know yourself again.
5) Raise your vibration
I know, you are probably feeling a bit down at the moment, that’s why it’s now more important than ever to raise your vibration!
Some people believe in the law of attraction, others just want to be happier. Whatever your reason for it, try to boost your mood a bit!
I want to put a little disclaimer here that I am not talking about suppressing and bypassing all of your grief and negative emotions.
In fact, that’s one of the worst things you can do! All that sadness will pile up and burst out eventually, so better deal with it right away.
Learning to express your emotions in a healthy way so that they can flow through you is actually the best way to raise your vibration.
How can you do that?
When you feel your emotions come up, try:
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- Sitting with them, trying to identify the core emotion you are feeling
- Journaling about your feelings
- Creating art that represents your emotions
- Channeling all your energy into exercise
- Dancing it out
- Releasing your emotions by crying
- Expressing anger by screaming
All of these things will help you transform your emotions and free them.
When you’re ready to lift your spirits again, you could:
- Listen to happy music
- Hang out with friends or family
- Do things you love doing
- Exercise (endorphins!!)
- Get some sunshine and fresh air
With these activities, you will raise your vibration in no time!
6) Dive into shadow work
Relationships are great, they make us feel loved, accepted, warm, and safe.
But they are also incredibly great ways to hide from our shadows.
Getting your quick fix of reassurance from a partner is easier than facing the root cause of why you need reassurance in the first place.
Now that your twin flame is running, it’s the perfect time to take a closer look at all the dark things you’ve been hiding from yourself.
You are perfect the way you are, don’t get me wrong, but there is always something to improve and work on.
Almost everybody deals with traumas that they need to heal, and you are most probably no exception from that rule.
Identify the things that are causing you pain and work on healing them.
Ways to heal could be:
- Inner Child Work
- Somatic healing
- Working with a therapist
- Working with a coach
7) Think about other possibilities
Being rejected by your twin flame or having them run from you is a painful experience, no doubt about it.
But have you ever considered that there may be possibilities you haven’t given a thought to yet?
Maybe, just maybe, a twin flame relationship is not exactly what you thought it was supposed to be.
And perhaps you have more than one twin flame? Or there is the slight chance that who you thought was your twin is in fact not “the one” for you?
This is not supposed to invalidate the feelings you have for your partner at all, I am simply trying to open up an array of possibilities you might not have considered yet.
Making room for anything to happen will also open the doors for new opportunities.
If your partner is really the one, they would come back anyways. Until then, try to keep an open mind and see if maybe there is somebody else out there for you.
Don’t get hung up on the idea of this one person being your twin and turning down people who might be “the one” while you’re waiting for someone else.
8) Try to see it positive
I know, being in your situation right now doesn’t exactly feel like you’ve won the jackpot, does it?
The good news is, you can see it from a different, more positive perspective!
A heartbreak like the one you are in right now can actually be a blessing in disguise.
Oftentimes, big trauma like that actually leads to significant growth and change in your life.
There is a philosophical concept by Friedrich Nietzsche called Amor Fati.
It’s Latin and translates to “lover of one’s fate”.
What he essentially means by that, is that you should embrace everything in your life, because it is all part of your journey, the good and the bad.
It also entails not regretting anything that happened in the past or wishing it to change, because, without it, you wouldn’t be where you are right now.
This concept has helped me through some of the hardest times in my life so far, and I think it could help you, too.
Life is not happening to you, it’s happening for you. How can you use this situation right now to your own benefit?
What are you learning right now? What opportunities are opening up because of this?
Nothing, and I mean really nothing in life is ever just bad. If it’s not a win, it’s a lesson. What is your lesson here?
9) Lose the labels
As humans, we love labeling things. We use words for everything in order to explain it and make sense of it.
Although it can help sometimes, more often than not labels can limit us.
As the author Deepak Chopra once said:
“To define yourself is to limit yourself. Without labels, you remain the infinite being.”
What does that mean for you?
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Maybe it would help you to stop labeling your relationship as a twin flame relationship, with all the preconceived notions that come with that.
After all, twin flames are also just a concept invented by humans to explain a strong connection.
Losing the label can help you appreciate the experience for what it is (or what it was), and move on without any set expectations.
It will help you keep an open mind for anything that comes along your path.
You are a unique individual, so your path will not necessarily follow a general concept, even if you want it to.
Having these labels gives us a false sense of security. Thinking “but they are my twin flame” can be a reassurance that they will of course come back.
In reality, nothing in this life is certain, especially when it comes to things like love.
Unfortunately, there is no way of telling what will happen, and the sooner you accept that the sooner you will be free to enjoy your life as it is rather than what it’s “supposed” to be.
10) Don’t put your partner on a pedestal
After a partner leaves you, it can be hard not to idealize them in your head.
They were so great, everything they did was amazing and there weren’t any flaws in them, right?
Wrong. Everybody has flaws and mistakes, and you need to accept that in order to move on.
Romanticizing the idea of your partner and your relationship will bring you nothing but pain.
In reality, there is no such thing as a perfect partner or a perfect relationship, even for twin flames.
Life is messy, and so are relationships. They will trigger you and there will be fights.
Putting your partner on a pedestal can be the breeding ground for unrealistic expectations in future relationships.
Frankly, and I’m sorry if that hurts, but if your relationship was really as perfect as you make it out to be in your head, your partner wouldn’t have left.
Romanticizing the idea of your soulmate or twin flame can prevent you from living your actual fairytale.
This one will not be the Cinderella version, though. Real-life comes with hardships, but that will ultimately bring depth and connection to your relationship!
11) Accept the reality
Whatever it is you believe in, whether that’s divine guidance, fate, or chaos – the truth is, whatever will be, will be.
As hard as it may sound because you want to have control, you really don’t have much control over anything in life, only how you react to it.
There is no way of telling what will happen in the future, so for now, you have to accept that your partner is gone.
If you’re meant to be together, they will come back into your life eventually, but maybe they aren’t supposed to be your future!
Learn to accept their decision, it will help you with moving on.
Can you accept that where you are right now is exactly where you need to be?
Don’t waste your time trying to hold on to someone or convince them to come back, and instead let it be and see how life unfolds for you.
They might not want to be with you, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you.
Learn to accept that your twin is free to make their own choices, and now you need to adjust to that reality.
You will be okay
By now, you should have noticed my big takeaway here:
No matter what, you will be okay!
Yes, this is an incredibly hard and sad time right now, but that doesn’t change the fact that you will be fine eventually!
Whether they come back or not, following these 10 steps will ensure that no matter what happens, you will be good.
There is nobody out there to complete you, you can do that all by yourself!
Learn to tap into the abundance of love you have in your heart, shift the focus back on yourself, and accept your current reality.
Think of all the ways that this unfortunate situation is serving you.
You are exactly where you need to be, and life will feel better soon. Take care of yourself and everything else will follow.
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