Wondering if a special woman likes you or not?
Don’t worry. It’s not as difficult as you think to understand if she is attracted to you. The trick is to know what specific subtle signs to look for.
A recent psychological study showed that when men and women look at the same behavior, men are more likely to see the behavior as more flirtatious and seductive.
It’s easy for men to misunderstand women’s signals.
But we don’t want you to miss an exciting possibility.
So, to help make this type of communication easier, I’ve compiled an ultimate up-to-date list according to the experts in psychology to help you out.
Here are 15 of the most important signals a woman will show when she is interested in you:
1) Talk for 5 minutes before looking for any signals
In one study, participants were given the opportunity to flirt for ten minutes. They were videotaped and then asked to verify whether their behaviors were indeed flirting.
The researchers found that any signals of interest didn’t hold much meaning early in the conversation. The real interest was shown if the woman kept giving repeated signals over time, after at least four minutes of talking.
For example, as the conversation progressed, women seemed to relax. Those who were interested tended to tilt their heads, use a lot of hand gestures, and play with their clothing more.
So, it’s important to engage a woman in the conversation for a few minutes before starting to look at any cues that she might be communicating about her level of attraction towards you.
2) Her pupils are dilated
“Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?”
– William Shakespeare, As You Like It
When you do speak with her, look at her eyes closely.
Are her pupils tiny pinpoints or are they wide?
When a woman is feeling more connected to you, she will show small changes in her physiology.
Holly Schiff, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist, tells us that “Physiological responses like sexual excitement or attraction release oxytocin and dopamine into your brain, which affect your pupil size.”
When a woman’s pupils get wide and dilate open, it can signal that she is in a playful and comfortable mood. There may be a budding attraction growing for you and she is feeling more approachable.
However, keep in mind that if the lights suddenly dim, her pupils will naturally dilate.
3) She is fidgeting
If a woman is feeling attracted, she might start to exhibit some self-soothing behaviors to calm her nervousness.
Experts in the field of behavioral psychology mentioned to take notice if she starts to do things like:
- Play with an earring or ear lobe
- Twirl her hair
- Rub her fingertips together
- Stroke the side of her neck
These nervous habits are common signs that a woman is slightly stressed when she is around you – but in a positive way.
When we are attracted to someone, we might feel a little bit of stress. This is because we find the other person exciting and stimulating to be around.
In fact, when we experience a state of fear or anxiety, it can actually trigger stress hormones that flood us with feelings of sexual attraction and arousal towards another person.
We even tend to bond more with someone when we feel we are at risk or feel a little frightened and our survival mode gets activated.
So don’t be worried if a woman appears nervous when she is around you. It can actually bring you closer together.
4) Her tone of voice changes
“Speak low, if you speak love.”
– William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
Take notice of a woman’s voice when you first meet. If her vocal tone gets progressively higher or lower, it can be a good sign that she is attracted to you.
We tend to make vocal changes so that we stand out from others in a typical conversational setting.
When we are attracted to someone, our voice will become stronger or weaker, higher or lower, or quieter than normal.
So, try to listen for the little differences in her voice as you talk to her more. She might be telling you more about her intentions towards you than she would with her words.
5) She mirrors your behaviors
If you’re having a great conversation with a woman, and attraction is starting to build, don’t be surprised if she starts copying your gestures and posture.
“This is called mirroring,” Schiff says. “If someone is attracted to you and comfortable with you, they subconsciously start to adopt some of your mannerisms and behaviors. They want to feel more aligned with you, so mimicking the things you do is a way to show they are engaged in the interaction and creating a bond.”
Experts say this is a sure sign of attraction.
Some of the most common forms of mirroring to watch for are the following:
- Hand gestures
- Facial expressions
- How you are sitting or standing
- Your energy levels
- Repeating words or phrases you say
- The pacing of your speech
- Even your accent
Remember that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
6) Small facial expression changes
Did you know that a woman’s face tends to be more expressive than a man’s? If you pay close attention to tiny cues, she can show that she is attracted to you in very subtle ways.
There tend to be 7 different types of microexpressions. Although desire is not one of them, the best place to focus for cues of attraction is on a woman’s lips and eyes:
If a woman is thinking seductive thoughts about you, her lips will slightly part and she will flutter her eyelashes. These can happen rather quickly so you have to pay close attention throughout your conversation.
7) Her body language is open and inviting
You can tell if a woman likes you by the way she holds and positions her body.
If she turns her entire body towards you when you are talking, in the Vis-à-Vis or face-to-face Frame, it’s a great sign.
In this open and receptive position, a woman is showing she wants to hear and converse with you more.
If she is interested in you, she will also stand a little closer to you than your average friend, her feet will be pointed towards you, her shoulders will be rolled back and open and her stance will seem very tall and alert.
8) She will reach out and touch you
An interested woman will find ways to make physical contact with you. People often touch the people they like.
According to behavior analyst Jack Schafer, “women may lightly touch the arm of the person they are talking to. This light touch is not an invitation to a sexual encounter; it merely indicates she likes you.”
So, take notice if she touches you. Even if she ‘accidentally’ makes contact with you. She might do something like brush against your body or quickly touch your arm or hand. These signals can all express her growing attraction and interest in you.
Remember that these behaviors will depend on her personality. If she’s the shy type, then it’s unlikely to make contact on purpose. But if she’s direct and confident, she will definitely make more of these cues to show you her interest.
Also, notice what happens when you make contact with her. If you touch her in a light way and she quickly pulls away, she is clearly not comfortable. It might mean she is not interested or that she needs more time to get to know you before considering you in a romantic way.
9) She engages in preening
Another indication that a woman likes you is if she starts preening you. She will make little adjustments to your appearance and fix anything that seems out of place.
This could be things like:
- Fixing your collar
- Picking a small piece of lint off your clothes
- Buttoning an undone button
- Running her fingers through your hair to smooth it over
The more attention she pays to you and these little details, the more she is showing that she is noticing you.
10) She smiles and laughs at your jokes
“Laughter is sunshine, it chases winter from the human face.”
― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
If a woman is full of smiles and laughs at your jokes, even the terrible “dad jokes”, it’s a good sign she likes you.
Humor is sexy and a huge indicator of a positive relationship. The research shows women like men who make them laugh, and men like women who laugh at their jokes.
Even if your jokes are extremely corny, she will respond to them well when she wants you to know that she is interested in you.
If she’s engaging in your conversations with smiles, giggles, and playful banter, there’s a good chance she’s attracted to you.
11) She blushes when she is around you
When we blush, it tends to signal that we are feeling slightly embarrassed or feeling like we have a feeling that we want to hide.
It’s common to blush when you get an unexpected compliment or when someone you like starts to notice and approach you.
So, if a woman’s face turns a little pink or red in the cheeks, it can be a subtle sign that she is warming up to you and having a positive reaction to your interaction. She is probably signalling that she likes you and wants you to pay her a little more attention.
12) She leans in and tilts her head
“See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek.”
– William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
If a woman leans in when she talks to you, she’s trying to tell you she’s engaged in what you are telling her and that she is interested in talking to you more.
This action is especially the case if you’re with a group of people. A woman who is attracted to will appear to care the most about what you are saying. She will want to hear more and invite you to continue talking to her one on one amongst the crowd.
It’s also a way to subconsciously pull you in her direction so that you can get a bit of personal interaction and attention in a public setting.
In the same way, if she tilts her head to the side, she is showing interest. She’s letting you know she’s present and in the conversation and wants to hear more of what you have to say.
13) She seems nervous around you
If we are around someone whom we are trying to impress, we may appear a little nervous.
This can appear in a lot of subtle changes in our mannerisms.
According to Business Insider, there are seven key signs of nervousness to look for in someone. So take notice if a woman does the following:
- She touches her face
- She blinks more frequently
- She compresses her lips
- She plays with their hair
- She contorst her hands or cracks her knuckles
- She rubs her hands together
- She yawns excessively
So if a woman is presenting these signs around you, assuming you don’t know her very well yet, then she could be nervous which is a great sign that she likes you.
As she gets to know you more, her nerves should go away. She will appear much more relaxed and you’ll be able to build a stronger connection together.
14) She caresses an object in her hands
This signal is quite interesting, and sometimes it can go unnoticed, so you have to look very carefully to see it.
Try to look at how a woman is holding an object when she is talking to you.
Is she holding onto it tightly, so much that you can see the white of her knuckles?
Or is she caressing it gently? Stroking it while looking at you directly?
If so, that’s a tremendous subconscious sign that she is attracted to you and likes you. Even more so, holding eye contact while slowly caressing an object in her hands is an excellent indicator that she likes you.
On the other hand, if she holds an object tightly, shields it from you, moves her body away from you, and gives you fleeting eye contact, then that’s not really a promising sign that she is relaxed and feeling good in your presence.
15) She holds eye contact
“The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.”
– Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
FBI behavioral analyst Jack Schafer notes that people look at people they like and avoid looking at people they don’t like. This makes complete sense.
If a woman holds eye contact with you, it pretty often means that she likes you and wants to spend more time around you.
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Just remember that some women are a little shy. So she may look at you but quickly glance away as soon as she notices that you are catching her stealing a peak.
If you see that she does this, it’s a great time to start a conversation with her and help to make her feel more at ease.
“A heaven on earth I have won by wooing thee.”
– William Shakespeare, All’s Well That Ends Well
Remember it’s all in the details
In general, women tend to be much more subtle than men when it comes to showing their interest.
So the more you can pay attention to the little cues in her body language and physiology and voice, the more you can come to understand her level of attraction towards you.
Interestingly, researchers found that women weren’t afraid to show their interest at all.
After watching behaviors in a series of creative observational studies in bars, dance clubs, and other places where people meet, one thing was clear…
Women are the ones who signal to men first.
A woman will help you to approach them.
So the more you can pay attention to her little signs, the more confidence you can have in starting a conversation.
It’s always worth a try!
The best way you can show her that you are interested is to go up to her and spark a conversation. Be clear, be bold, be curious.
“And then, strange to say, the first symptom of true love in a young man is timidity; in a young girl it is boldness. This is surprising, and yet nothing is more simple. It is the two sexes tending to approach each other and assuming, each the other’s qualities.”
– Victor Hugo, Les Miserables
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