When it comes to matters of the heart, it can be hard to know exactly what God might think of your current partner.
Even as you grow in your faith, dating and love can still feel like strange and confusing territories that are difficult to navigate.
If you’re currently dating someone, you might find yourself asking:
Does God want me to end things with him or continue seeing him? Is he “The One”? How do I know if he is the person God wants for me?
These are all valid questions, especially when it feels like there’s so much at stake. But how do you know for sure?
There are several red flags that can alert you to whether or not he is right for you – from an eternal perspective. Here are 15 warning signs from God that he is not “The One”:
1) He doesn’t believe in God
Unless God wants you to convert your partner to Christianity, he’s not ‘The One.’ It’s a simple fact: if he doesn’t believe in God, then he won’t be a good partner for you.
As our faith is so important to us, we want to be with someone who shares our beliefs. So if he already believes that there is no God, your relationship will be inherently flawed from the start.
Remember that God does have a plan for your life, even if it’s not with this specific person. If you are currently dating someone who doesn’t believe in God then your relationship won’t last forever. It’s just a matter of when the breakup will occur.
Why? Because he will never understand and accept your faith, and you won’t be able to understand and accept him.
You’ll always be wondering, why won’t he believe as I do? Why can’t he live as I do?
2) His eyes wander where they shouldn’t
Look, if he has a wandering eye, run!
When you start dating someone, it’s important to be aware of the signals you’re receiving from him and God. If he shows interest in other girls, or is constantly looking at them in a way that makes you feel less special and upset, then don’t waste your time on him.
We all want to be a priority to the person we’re dating, but if your partner loves other girls more than he loves you, then it’s not going to work out long-term.
Why is his wandering eye a sign from God? Well, it’s not like God is pushing him to look at other women. So what’s going on?
As you know, we are surrounded by temptations. And your boyfriend doesn’t resist them. He doesn’t ignore them. He doesn’t pretend that nothing is going on.
He’s simply aware of what they are, and he’s choosing to look at them.
That means it’s actually a ‘choice’. He’s choosing to look at other girls.
3) Your family doesn’t approve of him
Here’s another sign from God that he is not “The One”: your family doesn’t approve of him.
Family is important in the eyes of God. What’s more, they know you best. So if you want to know what God thinks of your partner, check with your family.
If they don’t approve of him, then it’s almost certainly a sign that he’s not the person God wants for you.
Why? Well, it may be because he doesn’t have the qualities you need or because he doesn’t share your worldview. Or maybe it’s because there is something about him that makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
Either way, it’s almost certainly a sign that he’s not “The One”.
However, if your family makes it a habit to reject every man you’re with, you might have to check other signs as well.
4) A gifted advisor confirms he is not “The One”
The warning signs above and below will give you a good idea about whether he is “The One”.
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They can answer questions like, “Is he not the one God has for you?”, “Should you break up with him?”
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5) He can’t keep his hands off you
Sex before marriage is a big no-no, and yet many people love to date the wrong kind of person.
It’s tempting to overlook warning signs. For example, if your partner is too physically affectionate, that might just be his way of showing you how much he wants you.
But it can also be a sign that he doesn’t respect you. If he’s constantly trying to kiss and grope you every time you’re together, then maybe it’s time to call it quits.
Even if you’re not particularly against sex before marriage, although you believe in God, take your boyfriend’s behavior as a warning sign.
If he’s pushy or if all he can think about is having sex with you, then it’s probably a sign that God doesn’t want you together.
While attraction and lust are understandable human emotions, they can be kept under control. But if he can’t, then it’s a warning sign that God doesn’t want you to date him.
6) He has a negative influence on you
A negative influence is a red flag from God that he is not ‘The One”.
Your boyfriend’s influence on you is a good gauge of whether or not you two will be compatible in the long term. If he likes going out, drinking and dancing, but you don’t, then that’s probably a sign from God that you should break up with him.
But there are other ways that he might be having a negative influence on your life.
For example, if he wants you to dress sexy and sleep together when you don’t feel ready, then that’s going against God’s plan for your life.
If he tries to force his opinions upon you or sow seeds of doubt into your mind, then it might be time to end things with him.
In case he often brings you down, then you can take it as proof of his negative influence on you as well.
7) He often gets jealous or possessive
Listen, having a jealous or possessive boyfriend is not healthy and it’s also something that you should take as a sign.
You see, there’s a line in the Bible that says:
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
So even though he might be a good guy overall and does have good intentions, if he’s possessive or jealous, that could spell doom for your relationship.
Why? Because it’s not healthy to be constantly jealous or possessive, and at the end of the day you want a partner who will trust you and respect you.
In a way, his behavior is a sign that he does not trust you and does not have faith in your ability to make decisions for yourself. He’s basically telling you that he has no trust in you.
8) You don’t recognize him as your soulmate
Here’s the thing:
God has a plan for you, and that plan includes finding the right person and being happy with him.
So if you don’t see your boyfriend as a part of that plan, then it’s probably because you’re with the wrong guy.
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9) He is emotionally abusive toward you
God doesn’t want you to be in an abusive relationship.
Sometimes people think that abuse means physical abuse, but it can also include emotional abuse. If he’s constantly criticizing you or trying to control you, then it could be a sign that he is being emotionally abusive towards you.
What does the Bible say?
“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
So if he is being overly harsh or critical toward you, then that could be a sign from God that he is not the one.
10) He often goes hot and cold with you
Hot and cold relationships aren’t healthy, and they’re also a sign that God doesn’t want you two to be together.
A relationship should be full of consistent love and affection. But it’s not very likely that you’ll experience these qualities when you date a guy who is constantly changing his mind and being in an emotional state of flux.
There is no room for inconsistency in your relationship:
“In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
So if his behavior is constantly changing, then it could be a sign that God does not want you to get involved with him. He is bad news.
11) You have a feeling that he’s not “The One”
God wants you to be in a relationship where you feel safe. In the light of that, how can it be a sign that he’s “The One” when you have a feeling that he isn’t?
Well, although you may not be able to explain it yourself, that feeling is a sign that he’s not right for you.
But, before you take my word for it, ask yourself this: Why are you feeling this way?
Is it because he doesn’t treat you the way you want to be treated? Or is it because he doesn’t have what you’re looking for in a partner?
Maybe it’s because there’s something about him that feels icky to you. Either way, listen when your gut tells you that he’s not right for you.
Your gut feeling could be God’s way of telling you that he’s not “The One” for you.
12) You feel like you’re constantly having to hide your beliefs
If you feel like you’re always keeping your faith a secret, it could be a sign that the person you’re dating doesn’t respect your beliefs or isn’t the type of person you should be with.
In order for a relationship to be successful, you and your partner need to be open and honest with each other.
Ideally, you should feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings with each other – no matter what they are.
If you’re keeping your faith a secret from your partner, you might be doing so because you’re worried about what he or she might think or say.
If this is the case, you might want to consider why you’re with this person in the first place. Are you in a relationship with this person because you genuinely enjoy their company, or are you with them because you’re afraid of being alone?
If you’re currently hiding your beliefs because you’re worried they’ll have a negative impact on your relationship, you should ask yourself if this person is worth it.
13) You feel spiritually disconnected from him
Want the brutal truth?
You should never settle for someone who doesn’t make you feel spiritually connected in some way.
If you’re with someone who doesn’t make you feel a spiritual connection, it could be a warning sign from God that this person isn’t the right person for you.
What’s more, if you’re dating someone who doesn’t make you feel spiritually connected, you might also feel a sense of disconnection in other areas of your relationship.
Disconnection can manifest in a variety of ways, but often times it’s seen as a lack of intimacy – emotionally and physically (affection, not sex).
So, if you’re currently dating someone who doesn’t make you feel spiritually connected, it’s important to consider why this is the case.
Is this person lacking in the qualities you look for in a spiritual partner?
If so, you should seriously consider ending things with this person. While it’s possible to grow spiritually with someone who isn’t on the same level as you, it’s also incredibly difficult.
14) Your beliefs and values are vastly different
Another warning sign from God? Your beliefs and values are drastically different.
You see, God’s plan for your life is to find a guy who does have the same faith and values as you do.
But if he has a different philosophy or a different set of values from you, then there could be a problem.
Faith and family, for example, are two of the most important things that God has asked people to place above everything else.
If your guy doesn’t value faith or family as much as you do, then cherish your freedom and move on.
15) He constantly tries to change your beliefs and who you are
“The One” should respect you for who you are and your beliefs. But if your boyfriend always tries to change who you are and what you believe in, then that could be a warning sign from God.
It’s not healthy to have a relationship with someone who is trying to change who you are and what you believe in. It’s always a bad sign when someone is trying to put pressure on you to change.
Don’t get me wrong, though! If he’s just asking you politely not to chew that loud, that doesn’t count as a big deal. I’m referring to changes in your personality and religious beliefs.
For example, if he’s pressuring you to convert or trying to change your faith, then that could be a sign that he doesn’t have the right intentions for you.
Conclusion
God can warn you in many indirect ways that your boyfriend is not the one for you.
If the signs point to that conclusion, then it’s time for you to end the relationship.
It really is better to know sooner rather than later that this relationship just isn’t going to work out.
Stay strong, and move on. The right person is out there for you.
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