The truth is, there aren’t any official statistics on extroverted empaths. Roughly 1-2% of the population are believed to be empaths. 50-74% of us are extroverted. But a mix of both is certainly rare.
So, in this article, we’re going to explore signs that you’re an extroverted empath, and how you can cope with this conflicting paradox.
Let’s jump straight in!
1) You love company, just not too much of it
The extrovert in you loves hanging out with friends – but there’s a catch:
Small groups are far more comfortable than hanging around in a big crowd.
Then comes in the empath – the part of you which draws upon other people’s energy.
With a smaller group, you can filter through emotions easier than if there are a bunch of people you don’t know in the mix.
So it’s likely that if you’re an extroverted empath, you’ve got a good circle of friends with who you stick with.
Now, there’s another catch – you love hanging out with your friends, but too much of it can leave you feeling drained. Again, this is the empath side of you that finds it hard to switch off from other people’s emotions and energy.
That brings us to our next point:
2) You need a good balance of energy
You may find that you experience “energy swings” or periods of time where your energy fluctuates.
This is because as an extrovert, you naturally thrive off the energy of other people. You feel alive when you’re having fun with others.
But the empath in you quickly tires of picking up on everyone else’s energy in the group, which slowly saps you of your own.
That’s why you may experience moments of highs and lows when you’re out with friends.
Sometimes you’ll experience these energy swings in one go. Other times, you’ll go through long phases.
Some weeks where you are energized and raring to go out and be social, and then bam!
A week or two of feeling completely drained and devoid of motivation or willpower. Until you allow your inner empath to recharge, you struggle to meet up with friends or get out and be active.
3) You’re picky about who you hang out with
Now, we’ve already established that you’ve probably got your go-to group of friends.
But choosing who you spend your time with is important to you. The extrovert in you would love to make friends with everyone – you naturally find people interesting.
But the empath in you knows that you can’t hang around with people who drain your energy (also known as energy vampires).
That’s why when you meet someone with negative energy, you know instinctively to steer clear of them.
You want to be able to enjoy your social outings and friendships, not feel exhausted after them. That’s why you’re fussy about who you hang out with, and for good reason!
4) You’re social to an extent
Here’s the thing, you’re up for fun, for trying new things, but not every plan that crosses your path appeals to you.
This sets you apart from other extroverts as they’re generally up for doing anything.
You’re pickier when it comes to the events you RSVP to. You know what you enjoy doing, what makes you feel good, and what you prefer to avoid.
To some, it might seem that you’re fussy, but in reality, you prefer to avoid socializing if there’s no real meaning or purpose to it.
You’re not one to hang out and go along with the crowd just to please others, and this attitude saves you from wasting your time!
5) You’re not afraid to get creative
You have a great advantage here – empaths are naturally creative. You feel powerful emotions and you understand how to reach people on an emotional, creative level.
Therefore, you might find you excel in areas like music, art, teaching, and writing.
And what makes your talents even better?
It’s your extroverted side. You see, many empaths keep their creativity to themselves, often out of fear of being judged or ridiculed.
But you’re not afraid to get out there and share your creativity. Even if it’s just with your family and friends, you have no qualms about spreading your wings and letting your talents soar.
6) You are happy to join in the fun but you need a bit of foreplanning
Just as we mentioned how you’re picky about the types of social activities you do, you also need sufficient notice and planning.
After one or two bad experiences of spontaneously diving into a day out, you’ve learned that a bit of foreplanning can avoid feeling burned out.
That’s why, when you’ve got something coming up, a festival, a weekend away, a party, you like to know beforehand.
This gives you a chance to anticipate what type of crowd you’ll be in and the effect it’ll have on you. Planning helps you mentally prepare yourself.
This allows you to enjoy being social without it affecting your empath side too much.
7) You don’t like being tied down
And although you like planning, once you’re in the flow of a situation you like to have a choice.
The idea of someone dictating how your day is going to go doesn’t sit well with you. You want to be able to change your plans and do what feels right in the moment.
Ah, the paradox of being an introverted empath!
Now, because you want to be free to make your own choices, you probably take the lead on making decisions when out with friends.
But luckily for them, and for you, your empathic abilities help you judge what the group wants and you plan accordingly. You’re not selfish and you understand the importance of including everyone to have a good time.
8) You love your own company but not all the time
Do you ever have days where you just want to be alone?
To chill out in your pajamas, spend time in your own company, and shut off the world?
I’m sure you do – your empath side will require it from time to time.
But after a day or so, you’ve had enough. The extrovert in you starts to feel that familiar itch, to get out and be around other people.
If you spend too long alone, you end up feeling lonely, depleted, and sad. That’s why you try to balance out having enough alone time to recharge your batteries, with enough social time to still feel the love and connection of others.
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9) You crave adventure
As both an empath and extrovert, you may find that the idea of adventure fills you with tingles. The good kind.
You see, one part of you loves to get out and explore. Go on holiday, learn about new cultures or languages. Get out in nature.
Then, there’s another part of you that takes enjoyment and fulfillment from helping others. Whether that be people, animals, or the environment.
So combine the two, and it would be a safe bet to say that volunteer work abroad is something that would attract you.
In addition, you also enjoy new experiences closer to home. If your friends keep insisting on going to the same restaurant every week, you’re likely to pass and join in when something more interesting comes up.
You can put that down to your extroverted need to explore new places – the same part of you that rejects boring routines!
10) You’re the friend everyone turns to in need
But one of the biggest signs of being an extroverted empath is that you’re a brilliant friend.
You’re understanding and intuitive to your friends’ needs. But you also love to go out and have a great time.
What more could you ask for in a friend?
That’s why you’ve got good friends who stick by you. They know you’re there for them whenever they need you – for a shoulder to cry on, or a cocktail buddy to go out with.
And in return, they know that you value having them in your life. You appreciate friendships that understand when you need time alone.
You appreciate that they give you the space to be yourself – high on energy some days and low on others.
Now, we’ve covered the main signs that you’re an extroverted empath, as rare as they are! But it’s not always easy to balance these two personality qualities.
So how can you make the most of both?
Read on to find out…
You’re an extroverted empath – how can you deal with it?
1) Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!
Boundaries are essential. There’s a reason it’s written three times in the heading. You will need boundaries if you want to live a relatively peaceful, happy life.
As an empath, without boundaries, you will suffer at the hands of others. You’ll constantly be taken advantage of, and you’ll frequently find yourself drained and exhausted.
This is made worse by your extroverted side. You naturally want to be around people, and this craving can lower your boundaries.
So how can you put in place healthy, strong boundaries? According to PositivePsychology, here’s a good guide to start with:
- Define what your boundary is. Maybe you’re happy to go to the party, but you don’t want to stay past a certain time.
- Communicate your boundary. Be clear and say exactly what you’re comfortable with and what your limit is.
- Keep your explanation simple. Don’t feel the need to explain or justify why you’re setting this boundary, even if your friends try to convince you to stay later.
- Set clear consequences. Explain what will happen if the boundary is crossed, and stick to your guns.
Once you are able to effectively communicate and enforce your boundaries, you’ll be able to enjoy being an extroverted empath.
Because boundaries allow you to be around others without compromising your mental, physical, and emotional health.
It also tells others what you expect and what you’re not going to put up with. Having strong boundaries can make the difference between going out and having a great time, or going out and coming home drained and unhappy.
2) Trust your instincts and honor your needs
In order to trust your instincts and honor your needs, you need to spend time reflecting and assessing what it is your body requires to function at its best.
As an empath, your instincts and intuition are already highly tuned. Pay attention to them, and listen when they tell you something, or someone isn’t right for you.
Honor your body when it tells you it needs a break. Don’t see alone time or resting as a sign of weakness, see it as your body replenishing its reserves so you can continue honoring your extroverted nature.
When you start listening to what your body and mind want and need, you’ll learn how to manage being both extroverted and an empath.
3) Reassess friendships and situations continuously
Even if you think you have the best friends in the world, there’s never a time that you should stop assessing your friendship circles.
Because we’re human, we’re not static. People change. And at some point in life, you might find that the same people who once gave you life and energy, now drain it away.
You see, your environment will play a big role in your mental health. It’s the truth for all of us. But as an empath, you need to keep on top of who you spend time with.
So, don’t be afraid to cut loose people who turn into energy vampires or who don’t honor your boundaries. They might have been a good friend once, but that doesn’t mean they have the right to use you.
4) Learn how to have a balance in life
As with everything in life, a balance is necessary to make the most out of it.
Learning what works for you and what doesn’t is essential. If you know that two days out with friends is enough, don’t give in when you’re tempted to head out on the third day.
Again, go back to honoring what your body needs. Even if it means taking a day off from socializing so you can recover and regain your energy.
This will come with understanding, and probably a few unfortunate experiences that’ll teach you what your limits are.
5) Practice grounding techniques to avoid empath overload
And finally, if you’re a rare, extroverted empath, you’re going to need some good grounding techniques. See these methods as protection.
These are tools you can call on whenever you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or simply bombarded with other people’s emotions.
To start with, try these grounding techniques:
- Walk barefoot on the earth to help bring you back into reality
- Meditate/practice yoga/breathwork to calm your mind and body
- Immerse yourself in water. Go swimming or take a shower
- Get out into nature, go for a walk, lie down under a tree, do some gardening
There are many different types of grounding techniques, and the beauty of some of them is that you can do them anywhere.
Just had a hectic meeting at work where tensions were running high? Slip off to the bathroom and practice breathwork.
Feeling exhausted after a weekend away with friends? Get out and walk alone in your nearest park or forest.
The bottom line is:
As an extroverted empath, there isn’t a ton of information online for you. There aren’t documented studies that can guide you.
That’s why you need to take it upon yourself to understand your mind and body. The sooner you do so, the quicker you’ll achieve a healthy balance in your life.
And you know what that means?
The more you can enjoy being both a fun, outgoing extrovert and a sensitive, understanding empath!
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