Have you wondered what the most important quality in a relationship is?
Some people say it’s honesty. Others say it’s communication.
But an expert psychologist who has counseled more than 1000 couples says it’s none of these things.
In an article John Kim wrote on Psychology Today, he shares what he believes to be the most important factor in a relationship.
He says that without the quality of “respect”, a relationship simply can’t thrive.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship where there’s a lack of respect, I’m sure you can understand.
When it comes to a healthy relationship, respect must be there. It isn’t an option.
According to John Kim, respect is something that we don’t pay attention to as much as we used to.
But without it, we can’t build trust. And without trust, there’s nothing that even remotely resembles a healthy relationship.
Here’s why respect is fundamental to any healthy relationship:
Respect → Trust → Safe space → Healthy relationships
So, what is respect?
According to John Kim, respect means no one has power or authority over someone else. It means we don’t have to agree with someone to love them. Respect means giving someone space to have their own opinions and judgments.
It means to not judge, control, coerce. It means to let be and grow.
It’s important to ask yourself whether there’s trust in your relationship because if there isn’t, it won’t be able to grow.
Maybe respect is something that’s been missing in all your relationships. Maybe it’s a pattern. If it is, then you must ask yourself, what has been missing?
Don’t blame him or her, but bring it back to you. Why have you not made it a non-negotiable? Chances are, it happened slowly. There was respect at the beginning of your relationship, but then it slowly went away.
What can you do right now?
Never compromise yourself.
If a partner isn’t respecting you, you are compromising yourself. You are sacrificing your own worth for an unhealthy love.
If it’s not about you, then you need to ask serious questions about your partner you want to invest in. Because if you allow respect to be missing, your stunting your relationship’s growth.
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