If you’re in a period of no contact and sticking to it, then you know how tough it can be.
You want to know if this guy is still thinking of you, or whether he’s lost interest and moved on.
Here’s how to tell if this guy is torn up about you and thinking of you or not.
12 signs he is thinking about you during no contact (complete list)
1) He’s shadowing you all over social media
One of the top signs he is thinking about you during no contact is that he is shadowing you all over social media.
He watches your Instagram stories, clicks like on your photos, maybe even comments on some posts.
If you weren’t on his mind or he didn’t care then he obviously wouldn’t bother.
But he is bothering, and he clearly cares. The no contact might be something you’re sticking to on your end, but he’s clearly got a different outcome in mind.
2) He wants to help you out in small, courteous ways
Another one of the top signs he is thinking about you during no contact is that he keeps asking to help you out in small and seemingly unimportant ways.
Even though you aren’t responding, obviously, it’s important to pay attention to the way he reaches out and why he keeps asking if he can fix your computer for you or do some other errand…
The fact is, that for a man these small ways of helping out are actually very important.
You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.
I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.
And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.
Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.
Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?
Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.
The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before.
The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.
Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.
It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.
3) He’s texting and calling you with silly, earnest and sad messages
These texts come in various forms, but here are the most common:
- Jokes and funny memes intended to break down your defenses
- Long messages that go on and on about how sorry he is
- Comments about something going wrong or a mutual friend that needs help to get you to respond to him
- Telling you how depressed or down he is in order to prompt a response from you
As for calls, the only thing you’re going to hear of them is voicemail, since you’re on no contact.
But they’re generally him acting very sorry for everything that went wrong and saying he cares about you a lot and wants to see you again “just to talk.”
As Leah Lee says, one of the worst things you can do here is give in and just pick up the phone:
“If you are bold enough to follow through with the no contact rule, try not to break it. It’s easy to fall into the trap of staying in touch with your ex and getting that feeling of false comfort.”
4) He straight-up tells you he’s thinking of you a lot
One of the biggest giveaway signs he is thinking about you during no contact is that he straight-up tells you.
The reason this is important, however, is that it’s not always what it seems like.
Well, let’s rewind…
Sometimes no contact is something you’re doing for a good reason and you really need a break from him.
When he comes back begging and telling you that he’s thinking of you a lot there are basically three options.
One is that he wants to bench you and keep you as an option he can bring back out now and then for his emotional and physical satisfaction.
Two is that he’s fully sincere and really misses you and wants to see you and discuss getting back together.
Three is that he’s messaging five other girls at the same time as you and the reason is simply that he’s horny and bored.
5) Sudden emotions hit you out of the blue about him
I don’t know what your spiritual beliefs are, but if you believe in energy vibrations and sensing the emotions of others then you know what I’m talking about here…
You’re going about your day doing fine when you get hit with sudden and strong emotions.
Even though you’re sticking to no contact and haven’t been thinking of this guy, he suddenly swims into your vision and you feel like there’s a weight on you.
You get these strong emotions seemingly without prompting…
And you have no idea where they came from or what they mean.
Consider that they might mean he’s thinking of you at that very moment.
6) You start to get twitches and blushing randomly on your face
When someone thinks about you it creates a wave of energy.
It’s basically the intentions and desires in their thoughts that create an energy.
After all, as physics say, energy can’t be created or destroyed, only transformed: so it has to go somewhere.
Where it goes, in some cases, is onto your face…
I’m talking about suddenly blushing or breathing heavily like crazy.
Twitching like a sleeping rabbit or getting very itchy out of the blue.
What’s going on? It’s him, thinking of you.
7) Conversations you’ve had with him keep replaying in your head
When you hear this person’s voice in your head or remember conversations with them quite a bit, there’s a good chance it’s not just you.
His thoughts about you are coming toward you and causing you to start thinking about him too.
You remember things you talked about randomly like you’re listening to a recording…
And even times that you spoke about nothing and just sat laughing at a movie or listening to music come to you out of the blue.
There’s a good chance that’s him missing you.
And you’re picking up on it.
8) You dream about him
Dreams are portals into the subconscious.
According to leading psychologists like psychoanalysis founder Sigmund Freud, dreams express unfulfilled wishes.
But in spiritual teachings, dreams can also represent the souls of others reaching out to communicate with us.
While we’re asleep, our soul is receptive to the communications of other people.
And one of the top signs he’s thinking about you during no contact is that you dream about him.
Mind you, it’s not always a positive dream. But pay attention what the dream is telling you.
It can go a long way to clarifying the next steps you should take with regards to this guy.
9) He asks your mutual friends about you a lot
Another one of the most important signs he is thinking about you during no contact is that he asks mutual friends about you.
If you share a friend or two in common and he’s reaching out to them about you, then you know he’s got you on his mind.
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For another thing, he probably knows that news of him asking around will get back to you.
It’s basically a way for him to send you a message through middlemen.
But of course if you’re doing no contact then the only reply he’s getting for now is radio silence.
“More often than not, if your ex is missing you, he will keep on talking about you to his friends or even your friends.
“He might not want to contact you directly because of his pride or out of his respect for the no contact rule.”
10) You see angel numbers that relate directly to him
Angel numbers are significant numbers that pertain to spiritually significant things.
For example, numbers such as 333, 1111 or 777. However, they aren’t always so perfect and come in many combinations.
For another thing, angel numbers can be direct signs to send you a message from someone else.
For example, say this guy’s birthday is June 13, 1987. So, we’re looking at 6/13/87.
Now imagine you’re waiting for a bus. First there’s bus 6, then bus 13, then bus 87. Well, a weird coincidence!
But then you go to buy a coffee at the cafe and you are customer #87 on a bill amounting to $6.13.
You try to shake it off, only to see a headline on Twitter announcing that 61, 387 people won various lottery prizes last year.
What the hell!
Things are getting a bit stranger, aren’t they?
He’s thinking about you and the universe is sending you a message that it may be time to reconnect.
11) He goes wild now that you’re not contacting him
Another one of the key signs he is thinking about you during no contact is that he goes wild.
He starts posting photos of him drinking it up or going dirt biking in the mountains or lifting huge weights.
Maybe he gets a new eye-catching tattoo, or two.
Or he starts dressing in a bizarre way that doesn’t seem like him.
That’s him pretending he’s not thinking of you anymore.
“One thing is clear, your ex is changing. It could be related to their appearance or their personality.
“Based on a study, people start to change as a way to bury their longing for someone they want to be with. They are trying very hard to move on.”
Because the truth is that he wouldn’t be making such a strong effort to change himself and get your attention if he really didn’t care.
He’s definitely thinking about you during this no contact.
And he hopes you’re thinking of him, too.
12) He goes out of his way to try to jealousy bait you
If you’re in no contact, he may have decided to try to make you jealous.
It might be juvenile, I know, but it happens all the time.
Suddenly he’s popping up on social media with a hot new girl you’ve never seen before.
He’s hanging out in VIP sections at clubs and getting tagged on their Instagram.
He seems to be living the life of Riley and getting all sorts of new attention from every direction, especially beautiful women.
Keep in mind that this is one of the very common signs he is thinking about you during no contact. He wants you to get jealous, so he’s putting jealousy bait everywhere online!
This can also take the form of him travel posting a lot so you can see he’s visiting cool places without you and you’re “missing out.”
Time to make contact?
When you have various signs showing up that he’s thinking about you during no contact, you have a decision to make.
Either you stick to the no contact or you open things back up and get back in touch.
This all really depends on why you were in no contact in the first place.
Here are three common reasons, along with my recommendations.
He cheated on you
Cheating is never a good thing, and when it happens in a relationship then it’s usually time to break up or take a break.
No contact is one form of taking a break, and it can be effective in establishing clear boundaries and letting time go by as the emotional hurt subsides.
Sometimes it doesn’t fade and you know it’s time to end things.
Other times you see that he’s been thinking about you a lot and is genuinely sorry.
My advice is to look closely at his behavior and try to understand if he cares or not.
No contact can be the perfect segue into breaking up. But in rare cases it can lead to a chance to try again.
You’re reassessing your feelings
Generally you go into a no contact break when you’re not sure how you feel.
It could be that you’re gettin in over your head and not sure if you’re moving too fast.
Or it could be that his behavior has made you question whether this relationship is even a good idea.
Whatever it is that’s led you to want to reassess your feelings, no contact can be a time to take the pressure off.
During this time you can connect with friends, spend time meditating and let things pass by a little until you find yourself again and decide whether this relationship is worth continuing.
He became overly clingy or codependent
Codependency is when people become intertwined in a toxic pattern of neediness.
One feels the need to fix or save, the other feels the need to be fixed or saved.
The problem is that it has no end. No matter how much is done, the desire to fix and to be fixed only grows and stays like a gnawing hunger.
It destroys real love and leads to lots of broken hearts.
Because codependency and love can’t coexist: they’re two different things.
It’s one of the hardest lessons that many of us have to learn, but if this no contact is because the guy became too clingy, possessive or codependent then it’s likely a good idea to end things.
Refocus your relationship
Deciding whether or not to get back in touch with him is one thing.
But during your time apart, you also have an opportunity to work on something you may have been overlooking.
Think about it…
How can you create happy relationships with others, if you’re ignoring the most important one; the relationship you have with yourself?
You see, until you work on that one, you’ll never find the happiness you’re looking for.
I learnt about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you some unique tools that put you back at the center of your world.
He also covers some of the major mistakes most of us make in our relationships, mistakes most of us aren’t even aware of.
So why am I recommending Rudá’s life-changing advice?
Well, for a start, Rudá isn’t your average shaman. He’s been through the same ups and downs in love that most of us have experienced. And through his ancient shamanic teachings, coupled with his very modern-day journey, he’s found the solutions.
And that’s what he wants to share with you.
So if you want to make a real change to your relationships, if you want to cultivate love and happiness, start today by checking out his genuine advice.
Can a gifted advisor help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to someone with special intuition.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Psychic Source when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into what my future holds, and the confidence to make the right decisions when it comes to love.
If you haven’t heard of Psychic Source before, it’s a site where gifted advisors help people through complicated and difficult life situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a highly intuitive psychic and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my psychic was.