“Is he my karmic soulmate?” 19 signs you’re in a karmic relationship

We know all about soulmates and twin flames, but what if we told you that there’s another kind of soulmate out there, one that’s not meant to complete your life, but help grow it?

This type of soulmate is known as the “karmic soulmate”, and while they may still make us feel that seemingly magnetic, irrefutable bond that we feel with our true soulmate and twin flame, they also bring chaos and disruption to our lives.


Because their purpose is to challenge us, to force us to become someone we currently are not.

So how do you know if a person is your karmic soulmate?

In this article, we share 19 ways to tell if your current partner is your karmic soulmate — not the person you were meant to end up with, but someone you inevitably have to be with at some point along the way:

1. You Bonded Instantly

The first thing you’ll see in a karmic relationship is that there’s never any doubt from the first moment you see each other.

There’s something different about this soul that makes you feel like you need them in your life, and this feeling begins from the first time your eyes meet theirs.

This is why karmic soulmates are usually confused with twin flames or true soulmates because the feeling we get when we first meet them is the same.

But this is because your souls were connected before you ever met in the real world, giving you that feeling of having a deeper bond or connection with this person.

But the instant bond isn’t always a good thing.

Sometimes you might even feel fearful of this relationship, in a way you might confuse it with excitement or thrill.

While you know this person was always meant to be in your life, you don’t exactly know what their true influence or impact may be.

2. There Were Some Red Flags at the Beginning

The bond was immediate, but that doesn’t mean it was smooth sailing during the honeymoon stage.

Unlike what may happen with a twin flame or a soulmate, a karmic soulmate is a constant test of patience, but you may not have chosen to see those red flags clearly for what they were in the beginning.

Perhaps you were immediately into it, but they were not. This is considered a one-sided spiritual connection.

Or it could’ve been any number of things; maybe he had an unusual trait of picking a fight over the most random things; maybe he didn’t like the way you talk or the way you spend too much time with your friends.

Things you never realized were problems are now problems because of him.

But one thing’s for certain: the beginning of the relationship felt off.

You may have told your friends about it, and they tried to show you the warning signs, but that bond you have with him kept you loyal and willing to see it through, even if things were already feeling weird right at the start.

3. A Real Psychic Confirms It

The signs above and below in this article will give you a good idea if he’s truly your karmic soulmate.

Even so, speaking to a real psychic will give you more clarity.

But how can you find a psychic you trust? In this day and age, it’s so important to stay away from fake ones.

I recently tried Psychic Source after going through a bad break up. They provided me with a unique insight into where my life was going, including who I was meant to be with.

I was actually blown away by how caring, compassionate and knowledgeable they were.

NEW QUIZ: At the heart of everything you do, think, and feel is your spiritual archetype. Find out your spiritual archetype in our fun new quiz. Take it here.

Click here to get your own psychic reading.

Not only will a genuine psychic tell you about this karmic relationship and how to handle it, but they can reveal all your love possibilities.

4. The Drama Never Ends

There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship; two people are bound to get annoyed at each other at one point or another if they spend so much time together.

But with a karmic relationship, it feels like if it’s not one thing, it’s another.

There’s never an end to the drama going on between you and him, and you might not even realize it until you’ve finally had a chance to breathe after weeks or months of fighting and debating.

It’s always about, who wronged whom, or, who’s the bigger victim, or, whether you actually care about their feelings or not.

Events in your lives just coincidentally always seem to line up to mess up one after the other; there’s no end to it.

Is he doing it intentionally? No. Both you and him may be absolutely perfect with someone else. But with each other, the drama never comes to a stop.

5. But You Can’t Cut Yourself From Them

Nobody likes endless drama, especially in this age of self-improvement and mental energy.

So when someone in your life seems to bring nothing but negative, chaotic energy into your personal sphere, the one and only thing you should want to do is cut them out.

But for some reason, you just can’t find it in you to pull the plug on all this.

After a big fight or after you’ve had some time to think, you might completely convince yourself that you’re finally going to end it; you might even tell your friends all about your plans to finally break up with him.

But when the moment comes, something always seems to happen.

Maybe he says exactly what he needs to say to win back your heart, or maybe you just soften up when you see him again.

Why can’t you get rid of this karmic relationship?

It might be that it’s simply not time to say goodbye to him, and both you and him still need to push each other — and grow.

6. You Argue About the Same Issues Again and Again

The ups and downs, the highs and lows, and even the topics of your arguments — everything is just the same thing, again and again and again.

Both you and him continue to hurt each other in the same ways, and you apologize the same ways, you make amends the same ways, and you try to make things right away in the same ways.

So what’s going on?

Isn’t a karmic relationship supposed to help you grow? Yes, and that’s exactly what he’s doing for you.

Both partners in karmic relationships need help with their worst qualities, which is why you keep fighting about the same things: practice makes perfect, and learning the toughest lessons means going through the same issue over and over again.

Does that make it right or enjoyable? Of course not.

But if you find yourself going through the same motions time and time again, at least you’ll know that you’ll be better equipped in your next relationship.

7. The Relationship Becomes Codependent

While karmic relationships are meant to help both partners grow, they can also, unfortunately, slide into states of codependency, especially when one partner is naturally submissive.

But what exactly does it mean to be codependent?

Essentially, codependent relationships are those where one partner becomes the complete caretaker of the other.

Relationships, where one partner is always happy to do whatever it takes to please the other, can slowly slide into codependent arrangements because both partners get accustomed to their roles as caretaker and care receiver.

Karmic relationships are prime candidates for codependent relationships, because during the process of fighting and supposedly growing, one partner may figure out a way to avoid fights by simply letting their partner win every fight.

8. You’re At Your Worst When You’re Fighting

You know you’re not a terrible person, but when you’re fighting your partner, you say things you never thought would ever come out of your mouth.

The truth is that your karmic relationship partner has the ability to push your buttons in ways no one else could possibly dream of doing, and you experience a side of yourself — and a side of them — that doesn’t exist anywhere outside of your relationship.

When you fight your partner, you take the scorched earth approach: nothing else matters except hurting your partner more than they’re hurting you, even if you cross the kind of lines that are typically uncrossable in most relationships.

But this isn’t like “most relationships”; in your karmic relationship, everything goes.

9. You Make Excuses For Them

Despite all the fighting, bickering, and the fact that you bring out the worst in each other, you still have a kind of irrational and unexplainable loyalty to your karmic partner.

Your inherent soul connection with them gives you this feeling that you always have to protect them when other people are trying to hurt them, and they feel the same way towards you.

This is one of the reasons why it’s so hard to shake him off — whenever you’re about to do it, if someone says anything bad about him, your immediate reaction is to protect him, even if they’re completely right.

Why? Because you know him better than anyone else, and therefore you understand why he acts the way he acts.

Even when there’s no logical reason for it, the small part of your mind that is aware of this karmic partnership draws you to their defense, no matter how little it makes sense.

10. Everyone Is Telling You It’s Toxic, But You Still Love Him

This relationship is nearly the opposite of the perfect, ideal relationship, but instead of feeling the opposite of love for him, you still can’t help yourself but think of him as your guy whenever you take a moment to breathe from the chaos.

It doesn’t matter how many of your friends hate him, scorn him, and literally turn away when he enters the room.

He could have that effect on every single person in your life because they can see clear as day that you and he are the most toxic pair they’ve ever seen, but that won’t change the fact that you are head over heels in love with him (at least for now).

The simple fact of the matter is: you can’t explain a soul bond with real world logic. It simply just is.

11. You Feel Misunderstood and Frustrated

Unlike soulmates and other forms of spiritual kinship, karmic relationships make you feel misunderstood and frustrated.

Despite the strong initial attraction, there is the unmistakable feeling that something is just wrong. It’s the hallmark of karmic relationships: the ironic pull of attraction and yet the never-ending tension between you two.

And that’s completely fine.

If anything, it’s exactly what karmic relationships are all about.

Thrown into constant frustration, karmic relationships are there to teach you all about self-control.

They teach you how to communicate better and force you to see your weaknesses.

Instead of hiding into your own shell, the person you’re in a karmic relationship brings you out of it, no matter how uncomfortable it is.

It might not always feel like it’s for your own good, but you learn how to communicate better and navigate difficult situations, one step at a time.

12. Most Of Your Fights Are Simple Miscommunication Problems

Most fights occurring in karmic relationships aren’t because of big picture stuff.

You’re not arguing because of a job, or a missed opportunity, or because of a disagreement about having a family, or something colossal; it’s usually because you’ve misunderstood each other and don’t quite know how to communicate your feelings yet.

This seemingly never-ending exercise is exactly what the two of you need so both of you can learn what either of you want in a relationship.

By participating in this constant push and pull, the miscommunication helps both of you see what kind of standard you should seek out for your other relationships.

In this process, you’re learning what sets you off, as well as the thing that brings you back down to earth again.

As you become more aware of your communication strengths and witnesses, you and your partner will both realize what it is you exactly need to do and want from a healthy relationship in order to make it work.

13. They Bring Out Your Fears

Most people say they feel like karmic relationships turn them inside-out.

It’s a hotbed for exploitative, abusive behavior because you both can’t help but push the other person’s buttons.

That instant connection is uncanny and it translates in different ways.

It’s like they know you in an instinctual way which means it’s also that much easier to bring out your worst fears.

Whether they intend to or not, they just have this knack for bringing out the skeletons in the closet. Any past traumas — from childhood bullying to abandonment issues — just comes out while you’re with them.

And it’s not because they’re actively malicious and want you to have a miserable time.

By design, karmic relationships are just space where these things need to come out.

Confronted by the past, you’re forced to face your fears head on and learn how to live with them instead of shoving them back in the closet every single time.

14. You Feel Drained and Exhausted

Do you ever feel like the relationship is just too much work? You do? It’s because it is.

Again, karmic relationships are designed to feel almost therapeutic, although it won’t always feel relaxing.

You’re constantly forced into situations where you have to reflect and there never seems to be a moment of just contentment.

You’re drained because you’re always being challenged and compelled.

Your partner is the driving force to your personal growth even though it doesn’t always feel like it.

Sure, it’s definitely more uncomfortable than it is soothing, but every day that you quarrel and bicker, you also learn more about yourself and how to relate to others better.

15. You’ve Become Better At Dealing With People

All of a sudden, your interactions with people are going a lot smoother.

Granted there are still glaring kinks in your relationship but the way you interact with others has definitely improved since the last time you paid attention.

You might even feel like you’ve become suaver.

You’re a lot more empathetic and it’s much easier to relate to people.

You have this newfound curiosity for people’s stories and a genuine interest in what they have to say.

Your ability to navigate conflict and patch up tension in communication has significantly improved too.

All along, the arguments you’ve been having within your karmic relationship have helped you improve as a person.

Without even realizing it, you used the things you’ve learned as a guideline for interaction — a roadmap on how to be a better human being.

16. You’re Afraid Of What Will Happen After It Ends

Karmic relationships can take over our entire lives.

In all the chaos and the ups and downs of a relationship where the drama, obstacles, and growth never seems to end, we forget that there’s actually a world or life beyond the confines of the relationship.

This makes us fearful of the ultimate and inevitable end of the relationship because we know that the end is coming, but we also have no idea what happens next.

Because despite the routine of chaos and drama in a karmic relationship, some people begin to need their karmic partner simply because they need that routine and stability in their life; that is, the stability of instability, and the assurance that they will always have those issues to deal with.

In any good relationship, while you may not want it to end, you aren’t afraid of what life will look like after it ends.

Because karmic relationships are all about growth and change, and you know in your heart that you will be a different person once this is all over.

17. There’s a Possibility It’s Extremely One-Sided

We mentioned earlier that some karmic relationships eventually devolve into codependent relationships, where one partner becomes ultimately submissive to the wants and needs of the other.

As a woman, it’s likely that you have become submissive to your male partner’s needs, making it difficult to break out of your codependent union.

But a relationship doesn’t necessarily have to be codependent for it to be one-sided; you and your partner can be in a one-sided relationship without one partner completely submitting to the other.

While you may not be submitting to please their every need, you might be ignoring all your basic wants and desires simply so the relationship can focus on your partner’s.

Not only are you working hard to fulfill your partner’s needs, but they’re also incredibly self-serving, to the point that you become nothing more than an appendage to their ego.

18. You Know It’s Not Going To Last

You fight, you make up; you break up, you get back together again, promising to be better this time.

You’ve experienced every type of fight you could possibly have with your partner, and you’ve shared more than enough emotional turmoil to last a lifetime.

And even though every fight and subsequent apology feels genuine and real, you just have a voice in the back of your mind every moment telling you, “This isn’t going to last.”

But even then, you stick with it.

You know at some point fate is simply going to pull you and him away, so why rush it?

You may hate the fights and the arguments, but you also love the good times you two have together, and that’s all you need for now.

No matter how bad it is, in any karmic relationship there’s a shared understanding that you are both helping each other, and that’s enough for now.

19. Despite It All, You Both Have Grown

How long have you and your karmic partner been together? A few weeks, months, or even a couple of years?

To any outsider, it might look like you and your partner have been battling the same old issues time and time again; that you two are the exact same, broken people you were when you first met.

But you and your man both know this isn’t the case.

No matter how slow or rigorous the growth may have been, you can’t deny the fact: there has been growth.

And this is exactly why this karmic relationship was a part of your life — they helped you get past obstacles that no other experience could push you through.

It may have been tough and tiresome, but at the end of the day you are a significantly better person now than the day when you first met your karmic partner.

So thank them, appreciate them, and always remember the role they played in helping you become your best self.

Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

I'm been through a lot, come out the other side, and I'm here to reveal everything I've learned. If I can help even one soul from my spiritual reflections, then my work here is done. Some people call me a spiritual warrior or an enlightened soul, but I'm just a humble guy that wants the best for humanity. If you want to get in touch with me about my writings, don't hesitate to hit me up on my Twitter (@lachybe). Namaste.

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