Every now and then you meet someone who seems to swoop in out of nowhere and capture your attention.
It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, you can’t stop thinking about this person.
Whether you realize it or not, there’s a reason you can’t get him out of your head.
You might think it’s because you’ve never met anyone like him or because he treated you a certain way, but the truth goes much deeper than that.
If your eyes are open, you’re thinking about him. If your eyes are closed, your dreaming about him. What gives?
Here’s why you can’t stop thinking about him and what you can do about it.
10 reasons why you can’t stop thinking about him
1. Let’s just dive right in here: you might be in love with him.
Even if you met for a short period of time, love knows no bounds. You can’t help who you love.
If you’ve dismissed this thought because you barely know this guy, let it sink in a little.
Lots of people meet and quickly fall in love. If you buy into the notion of soul mates, you might be in denial that you’ve met yours.
Let the idea of being in love hang around to see if it has some legs. You might be surprised by what you find. You don’t just go around thinking about someone all the time for no reason.
2. He’s a good distraction.
Here’s a much less exciting alternative: you’re not in love and he’s serving as a good distraction for the rest of your life right now.
Whether you’re 17 and trying to avoid studying for a test tomorrow or you’re a grown-ass woman with a 6-figure job and two homes, you’ve probably got things you’re trying to avoid in life.
When a man comes along that seems to make you forget about your problems, it’s hard to ignore, especially if he is kind and considerate.
It might not be love just yet, but if you keep this up, it might be.
3. You can’t help but think about how life might be different with him.
Let’s say that it’s not love, but broken love: you’ve been with him and it ended badly.
Now you’re stuck thinking about what might have been day-in-and-day-out. There’s no escaping the thought of him.
What does it mean?
It could be that you’re still recovering from the fallout. It could be that you still love him, of course.
Or it could be that you regret how things ended and wish it had gone better.
If you find yourself thinking about the past wanting to fix it for the sake of your ego or to make yourself feel better, find something else to occupy your time.
You can’t change what happened. There’s no need of living in the past.
4. You’re actually really lonely and you see him as a solution to that problem.
Maybe you don’t have as many friends as you’d like and you’re not exactly turning men away at the door.
These days, a lot of people are lonely and don’t even realize it. We all have our routines and go through life not asking questions of why we feel a certain way.
But if you’re thinking about him all the time and you’re sure it’s not love, it might be that you need a friend. Maybe that’s all you need.
Nobody said you had to marry the guy.
Why not hang out and see if you make good friends.
It’s better to have a good friend than nothing, isn’t it? And who said you wanted a boyfriend anyway?
5. He is getting on your last nerve.
One of the greatest tragedies of modern relationships is that girls have been taught from a young age by well-meaning parents that boys who pick on you, like you.
This message tells young girls that men only say or do mean things when they like them. No wonder millions of women stay in abusive relationships.
We literally tell them that means men love them.
But if you’re looking at this guy wondering why you can’t get him out of your head and it’s not love – first, thank the lucky stars you don’t buy into that crap – then ask yourself what drives you crazy about him? You don’t have to like everyone you meet.
Decide what feelings you’re having and then decide what you’ll do about them. You don’t have to waste all your time letting some guy move into your head.
You can issue an eviction notice at any time.
How to Stop Thinking About Him and Get On With Your Life Already
Now it’s all well and good to figure out why you can’t stop thinking about this guy, if you’re Googling how to stop thinking about him then I’m sure you want to do something about it.
Here’s how to stop thinking about him and how to get on with your own life already. You’ll be glad you did. Start right now.
1. Make a concerted effort to forget him.
Frank talk: are you even trying to forget about him or are you letting yourself wallow in your sorrows hoping that he’ll come back and swoop you off your feet?
It’s okay if you’re confessing to the latter. You’re not alone in that sentiment. It’s hard when things end, but the best way to get him off your mind is to make an effort to move on.
Be mad. Be angry. Be hurt. Go through the motions of it all and then get out of that emotional pit as soon as possible. It doesn’t just happen though. You have to decide to get up and get over it.
2. Unfollow him on social media. Right now.
Stop reading this and unfollow him on all his social media accounts this very second. We’re here for you. Be strong. You can do it.
It seems extreme and maybe even a little hurtful for you to cut him out of your life, but this isn’t about him.
This is about giving you back your time and energy and making sure that you don’t waste any more time trying to see what’s going on with him. It doesn’t matter now.
What matters is that you move on with your life and stop thinking about him. This is what needs to be done. So do it.
3. Get a life.
The very next thing you want to do is make some plans to get out of the house and do something.
It doesn’t have to be extravagant and it doesn’t even require you to spend money if you don’t want to.
But what you won’t do is sit around feeling sorry for yourself. If you want to stop thinking about him, all you have to do is think about something else.
Sitting at home alone makes that nearly impossible, so grab a friend and get out and do something.
Go for a hike, check out the new book store, or take a road trip. You’re not escaping your problems by doing this, you’re walking headfirst back into your life.
4. Make a point to not bring him up with other people.
Do your darndest to not mention his name to other people. Not only will it make you feel worse, but it will also make them feel bad for you.
And the last thing you want is pity from anyone, right? Plus, it makes you look desperate and sad. You don’t want people to think you’re desperate and sad.
But you’re not doing it for them. You’re doing it for yourself. Trying to let go is hard, but if you make an effort to avoid talking about him, you’ll find other things to talk about.
If someone mentions him, just skirt over it like it didn’t happen. Nobody said you had to be cool with his name coming up, but you get to decide how to handle it.
5. Don’t change yourself, change what you believe about yourself.
You might feel really crappy about yourself after your relationship ended.
You might think there are lots of things wrong with you, especially if you’ve decided you broke up because of you.
You might be hellbound on changing yourself and being a different person but you don’t have to do any of that.
Rather than change anything about yourself, change how you think about yourself. It’s a subtle difference but it can make a huge difference.
If you feel confident about who you are, you will feel confident about your decisions. You’ll own them instead of feeling bad about them.
6. Recognize that he wasn’t perfect.
In the same way that you are giving yourself space to realize that you’re not perfect but you’re doing your best here, remember that he is also not perfect and use it to help fuel your motivation to move on.
You might have thought the world of him when you were together but all of that changes quickly and you get some distance between you and you to have some time to process what’s been going on with you.
Don’t slight him for it, but use it to remind yourself that maybe this was supposed to happen. Then stop thinking about what might have been.
7. Stop asking why it all fell apart. You’re just torturing yourself.
A lot of women will live in the past for a long time after a relationship ends or when they get rejected by a love interest.
What happened? What could you have done differently? Should you have worn a different dress? You can drive yourself crazy wondering “what if?” So don’t.
Focus on you. He’s moved on. You should too.
8. Get back on the dating scene
This point is probably going to apply to those who can’t stop thinking about someone they can never have.
If you’ve been in a relationship with this guy, then you might need to sort out your life first before getting involved in the dating scene.
But if you’re ready, then it’s important to get back into the dating scene.
There a few reasons you’ll want to do so:
1. It will help you see that there are plenty of guys out there for you to date. You might have built this guy up in your mind, but entering the dating scene will help you realize that there are plenty of other guys that can make you happy.
2. It gives you something to do. Meeting new people will provide a welcome distraction for your mind.
3. You’re giving yourself the chance to meet someone really special.
You don’t have to start dating every single day. It will be easier for you if you ease yourself into it.
Go out with your gal pals and have some drinks and let loose a bit.
Once you start having fun and meeting new people, you can slowly begin to organize dates with guys you like and take it from there.
I hope this article has been helpful for you. What I want you to realize is that you’re not alone. Nearly every woman on the planet has gone through a point where they can’t get a guy out of their head. It’s totally normal.
If you follow the tips above then overtime this guy will slowly vanish from your head, and you’ll look back and laugh at yourself for being so into him (especially if you meet other guys that are just as good!)