“I can’t stop thinking about her”: 11 reasons why

So you met a girl– in an event, on a nice date, in school, at your new job, walking in the street. And it’s been more than a week later and you’re still thinking about her.

Why is that, you may ask?

There can be so many explanations, really. But bottomline: You can’t get her out of your head.

If you want to know why you can’t stop thinking about her, then read on! Because in this article, we’ll talk about 11 reasons why this is happening.

This may not be an exhaustive list, but hopefully, it can help you on a path to figuring things out!

1) She reminds you of someone else you care about

The most logical explanation as to why you can’t get this girl out of your head? She reminds you of someone you know.

Specifically, someone you deeply care about.

The resemblance may be direct, like the way she carries herself like your childhood crush. Or it can be completely indirect, like her strong personality resembling your mother.

The thing here is, you have this unconscious list of things you like in the people you know. And she embodies a number of it.

And this usually is a good sign!

Why? Well, because that means there’s a significant part of her that you know you’ll get along with.

You can easily grow fond of this girl you’re thinking about because she reminds you of good memories you had with people you hold dear in your heart.

2) You see yourself in her

Another logical explanation: You see yourself in her.

This may seem weird at first. But really, it’s something a lot of us crave for in a girl we want to date.

She may like the same games as you, laugh at the same jokes you find funny, and is interested in Lord of the Rings just as much as you are.

And that, my friend, is rare!

It’s only reasonable that you won’t be able to keep your mind off of her.

I mean, how often can you (or anyone!) meet a girl who likes the same things as you?

So don’t be afraid to admit that you’re starting to like her. You have all the reasons to.

3) You’re starting to fall for her

It’s hard to admit that you like someone. The idea of falling for a person seems so vulnerable. And I get that.

It’s scary to think that your heart wants to pour itself out for her.

But maybe that’s the truth. And if so, then you have no power over your attraction now.

You may ask, “How will I know that I’m actually falling for her?”

Well, ask yourself: Does she pop in your mind at random times of the day? Is it hard for you to stand too close to her, let alone touch her? Does she exhibit antics that tug at your heartstrings?

Well, if you answer yes to at least one of these questions, then there’s a high chance you’re falling for this girl.

The more you try to stop it, though, the more it will try to rise to the surface.

So it’s best to acknowledge it now before you do something you might regret.

4) She’s “The One,” but something’s holding you back

So you’re in love with her, and you’re just so sure that she’s The One. What’s holding you back from pursuing her?

I know you have your reasons– she leaves far away, she’s out of your league, she still has a boyfriend, or her parents don’t like you.

Whatever the reason, that is what’s making you think about her nonstop!

You just know that you’ll be perfect for each other. And the fact that you can’t test this theory is causing this tension inside you. Inevitably, it will affect the way you think.

Of course you will think about her all the time. You’re going to imagine how happy both of you will be when you’re finally together.

You’ll picture scenarios about fighting for her and proving to her that you’re the best choice.

And that, my friend, is a hard thought to brush off.

5) You’re soulmates

Are you starting to notice how much similarities you share with her? Does she pick up on your thoughts without you having to dig your brain for explanations? Are things unusually easy around her?

Then, surely, you’ll find yourself thinking about her all the time!

I mean finding someone who understands you? That’s hard as it is. But to be with a girl who seems like a mirror of your personality? That is completely rare.

Chances are, the two of you are soulmates.

But how can you know for sure you’ve met your soulmate?

The truth is:

We can waste a lot of time and emotions with people who ultimately we’re not compatible with. Finding your soulmate is no easy task.

But what if there was a way to get absolute confirmation?

I’ve just stumbled upon a way to do this…  a professional psychic artist who can draw a sketch of what your soulmate looks like.

Even though I wasn’t convinced at first, my friend convinced me to try it out a few weeks ago.

Now I know exactly what my soulmate looks like. The crazy thing is that I recognized them straight away.

If you’re ready to find out what your soulmate looks like, get your own sketch drawn here.

6) She satisfies a fantasy

We all have our own fantasies about the perfect relationship.

Even men have ideas of what his perfect partner looks like: her hair color, her body shape, her height, her educational background, kinks, and interests.

So when you meet a girl who ticks all the boxes of your standards, it’s only normal that you think about her all the time!

In your head, she’s perfect. She’s someone who will get you.

You already have an image of the dates you’ll both go to. You can already picture the new places you’ll explore. The way she’ll smile every time you do something for her. And you’ll love every part of it.

But even if your fantasy about her is more sexual than romantic, this same rule will still apply!

We all know the effect a perfect sex symbol can have on us. As you look at her from a distance, it’s possible she’s already making you feel things that get you going.

You want to do so many things to her body (of course, with her consent).

And so, you find yourself stuck in those fantasies of your skinship.

7) She’s stringing you along

We all know how effective manipulation can draw us more towards a person.

People always see manipulation portrayed by men on television. But the truth is: Women are capable of stringing guys along, as well!

And, truth be told, they’re a lot better at it.

Is the girl you keep thinking about someone whom you like for a long time? Does she know this? And if so, has she ever told you she liked her back?

If not, then notice how much she flirts with you without actually showing any real interest. See how often she asks you for favors, only for her to give you a quick compliment and a half-hearted thank you.

If you can relate to some of these things, then chances are she’s stringing you along.

Gen Zs have a term for this: breadcrumbing. They exhibit a semblance of interest in you, just enough to keep your attention.

But not enough for you to be sure how she really feels.

And the confusion that stems from breadcrumbing will make it so hard for you to keep her off your mind.

8) You love a good chase

If you’re aware that the girl you’re thinking about is stringing you along… and yet, you still willingly stay within her radar, ask yourself: Are you someone who likes the chase?

Chasing someone around need not to be done unwillingly all the time. Sometimes, people just like it.

In fact, there are so many people out there who lose interest in their crush the moment the crush starts liking them back.

If you’re like this, then maybe you like the chase more than the girl. That’s why you can’t stop thinking about her.

It can also mean you are the type of person who likes things he can’t have. And the moment you get that thing, you don’t want it anymore.

Why? Maybe because of a self-esteem issue. In this article, it is said that people who stop liking someone the moment this person likes them back have issues about their own value.

Basically, this means you think so little of yourself that, in your mind, only people with really low value can ever like you, too.

And that’s why you go after people you’re sure won’t be into you. You want that chase because it keeps you on edge, constantly thinking about a person out of your league.

And that’s how you know they’re one of a kind.

9) She presents an adventure or escape

When a girl is adventurous, it’s hard for any guy to stop thinking about her.

A woman who’s down for a lot of things is sure to always keep things exciting! And maybe that’s what you’re after.

In a scientific sense, this type of attraction (the type that keeps her in your mind all the time) is connected to adrenaline.

We tend to remember things which trigger our excitement or anxiety.

That’s why when we meet someone who seems dangerous, exciting, and full of adventure, we can’t help but think about them all the time!

But there are downsides to this. One, being the fact that constant highs in relationships can affect our tolerance. This means we’ll require more and more stimuli to get us excited.

When this happens with a person, that’s when we start seeing them as boring.

And the dangerous part? We’ll start looking for someone who’s even more unpredictable, even bordering abusive or toxic.

So if this is the reason you’re attracted to her, try to moderate the highs of your relationship. Learn how to find satisfaction in ordinary things, too!

God knows, that’s when the most meaningful things happen.

10) You dreamt about her

Have you ever had this experience?

One night, you start dreaming about a girl for whom you don’t feel anything at all. But the moment you wake up, for some reason, you feel like you’re starting to like her.

And now you can’t stop thinking about her.

No one really knows the real reason behind this phenomenon. But there are a lot of theories.

One theory is related to intimacy.

This means, it’s possible that you start liking her because she appeared in your dreams. And dreams are intimate scenarios happening in our brains.

It’s in dreams where we face our fears, do things we never thought we’d do in waking, or express things we’d never say to someone in person.

And the fact that this girl appeared in your dreams is kind of like opening up to her without meaning to.

Now you view her differently.

It’s up to you, though, whether you want to pursue your attraction to her or not.

In a spiritual sense, it’s possible she dreamt about you, too! But that’s a conversation for another time.

11) She makes you feel seen

The last possible reason as to why you can’t stop thinking about her? It’s actually very simple.

She makes you feel seen.

Maybe you’ve known her for a long time, maybe not. Maybe she’s been a friend to you all this time, or maybe you just sat next to her in a class and you got along well.

Whatever the reason, a part of you realized that, with her, you feel most like yourself.

She treats you like an equal. She finds you interesting. And she never invalidates how you feel.

In fact, you can be really vulnerable with her.

If this is true for you, then of course you’ll think about her all the time!

Something in you will always want to spend time with her because she makes you put your guard down. And each time you spend together is a good one.

Things don’t need to be romantic between the two of you, though. At least, if you don’t want it to.

It only means you consider her as someone important– may she be a friend or a potential lover.

Final words

I’m sure, at this point, you’ll have at least an inkling about why you can’t stop thinking about this girl.

The reason you found may or may not be healthy for you.

Either way, what’s important is you are now aware of it. And awareness is the first and most important step to an action plan.

Do you want to pursue her? Do you want to end your connection? Or do you want to just let things be and see where it takes you?

No matter the reason, remember that you have things under control.