Dating an overthinker is not easy.
I’m not saying this because he is hard to love, but because he doesn’t always understand how challenging he is and how much effort you need to put in to be with him.
Fortunately, there are things you can do in order to strengthen your relationship with an overthinker, while also helping him become more at ease with himself over time.
Let’s jump right into the details!
1) An overthinker needs reassurance.
To strengthen your relationship with an overthinker, make sure you are giving him the reassurance he needs.
It is common for overthinkers to feel vulnerable and somewhat insecure, so it is important to make sure you are letting him know how much you love and care for him, again and again.
In addition, you should make sure you are there for him to reassure him about anything he needs reassurance about, like his work or anything else that he may be feeling worried about.
In short, make sure you are sensitive and understanding about the situations he may face.
2) You have to communicate effectively with him.
Overthinkers are known for their way with words, but sometimes their way with words can be a little too much.
Many overthinkers have a tendency to talk everything to death. And while it’s okay when they are talking about one thing, it is not okay when they are talking about everything that’s on their mind.
And this is not about giving him a hard time or being short with him, but in communicating effectively to keep your relationship strong.
So if you are not sure how to communicate effectively with your overthinker, ask your overthinking partner what he needs from you.
Get to know his needs and then try to put your thoughts into words more effectively.
3) Asking him to stop overthinking is not a good idea.
Asking an overthinker to stop overthinking is like asking him to act against his nature.
You could tell him to stop overthinking so that he can get stuff done and manage his time more effectively. But, when you ask him to stop overthinking, you’re really just asking him to become someone he is not.
So instead of asking your overthinker to stop overthinking, simply be there for him when he needs to talk or get something off his chest.
You should believe that talking about things will help resolve a problem by getting his thoughts out in the open.
However, there are other things you can do to deal with his constant worrying without addressing it directly.
4) An overthinker may fear commitment.
If you are in a relationship with an overthinker, then you may know that he tends to fear making a commitment.
An overthinker needs to know the reasons behind everything and why it will be beneficial for him.
While it is normal for an overthinker to be apprehensive about committing, you should believe that if your overthinking partner loves you, he will remain committed to your relationship.
When it comes to him fearing commitment, blame his biology more than him.
I learned this from one of the world’s leading experts on male psychology – Michael Fiore.
He breaks down what men actually want from relationships, and, most importantly, how to get through to your man in a long-lasting way.
So, even if it seems like his fears of commitment will never change, don’t give up just yet.
Using science-based methods, you could be the woman to turn it all around and make an honest man out of him.
5) Only say the things that you mean to say.
Because an overthinker will analyze everything you say, it is advisable to mean everything you say.
This would be better than having to explain to him that you actually didn’t mean to say what you said.
It’s hard enough for him to process the things that you are already saying, so avoid adding to that by saying things that you don’t mean.
Easier said than done, I know! But in the end, your efforts will be worth it if what you’re looking for is to achieve a stronger relationship with this guy.
6) Compassion is required of you.
Being there for your overthinking partner is very important to help strengthen your relationship with him.
A lot of overthinkers want to work on their own before reaching out for help, and this can sometimes be a big problem in their relationships.
So you should always be there for your overthinking partner and help him cope with his troubles when it comes to timing, or if he is having a hard time making a decision.
Empathy is also an important factor in your relationship since an overthinker sometimes gets carried away with his emotions.
So you should be there for him and help him get through everything that he needs to get through.
7) He doesn’t like surprises.
Another thing that you should know about your overthinking partner is that he doesn’t like surprises.
Why? Because overthinkers are good at analyzing everything in advance.
So, it would be better if you could give your overthinking partner hints without letting him know that you’re giving him hints.
For example, if you want to surprise him with a nice meal, give him one hint that there’s going to be something on the menu that he really likes or even suggest to him to take a look at it.
This way, he will still be surprised, but not completely overwhelmed.
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8) Keep him infatuated with you.
Overthinkers tend to be creative and intelligent, but sometimes they can also be a little paranoid. They need reassurance that they are loved and that their partner is committed to the relationship.
So it would be good that you keep this guy infatuated with you, so he will want to make things work out with you.
While we’re at it, if you want to make any man infatuated with you, check out dating and relationship coach Clayton Max’s free video here.
He’s created a unique set of texts that will reach any man on a deep, primal level, unleashing his lust and craving for you.
The best part is Clayton explains how men work when it comes to attraction and love, so it’s well worth checking out his advice.
9) An overthinker needs you to be genuine.
Just like any other type of person, an overthinker needs to feel the genuineness in your relationship. So to avoid getting caught up in the little things, you should be yourself in front of him.
Let him know that you are not faking anything when you are with him and make sure you actually mean what you say so he will know that he can trust your words.
Avoid saying hurtful things or things that will make him feel bad about himself. This would just drive him away from you.
10) Sometimes you have to distract his attention.
This guy isn’t perfect and because of his overthinking nature, he needs you to distract him.
Sometimes, he’ll be so consumed by his thoughts that he will need you to take his mind off those thoughts by doing other activities.
When this happens, the best thing you could do is get him to focus on something else, in order to help him stop overthinking. Even if it’s just for a while.
You could take him out for a walk instead of sitting at home and thinking about everything. After all, it’s not good for you to sit around doing nothing anyway.
11) Be prepared to be taken on adventures.
You should always be ready for a fun adventure with your overthinking partner so he can get away from his thoughts quickly.
If you let him know that you’re up for the adventure, he’ll know he can be spontaneous with you.
Even so, he’ll have everything prepared because he thinks about everything before he does something.
For example, booking a last-minute city break with him is safe since he thinks about all his options before going through with it.
12) Expect him not to trust you all the time.
Trust is a big issue for an overthinker. Being trusting is something he does naturally, but it gets easily disrupted when his thoughts get the best of him.
So he’ll actually have to work on his ability to trust you, even if you never gave him any reason not to trust you.
He’ll begin to question things and wonder if you are telling the truth or if you’re saying things just so he won’t get suspicious of you.
So just be patient with him, reassure him, and believe that time will heal his trust issues.
13) An overthinker requires a lot of patience.
This guy might get on your nerves because of his overthinking, but you should understand that this is just a serious flaw that he has to work on.
He’ll need all the patience you can offer him because sometimes, it’s really hard to control his overthinking habit.
This means that you’ll have to just be there for him and give him space for his thoughts. He’ll appreciate it because he needs your support.
14) You have to deal with his insecurities.
Being insecure is not sexy, I know!
However, if you want to learn how to love this guy, you should start by accepting the fact that he can sometimes become insecure.
He might have a lot of insecurities when it comes to things like relationships, money, and career.
So make sure to take a look at what you can do for him because sometimes, he just needs a little push to realize that there’s nothing wrong with him.
15) Try to live in the moment with him.
Since overthinkers like having everything planned out, they need to live in the moment so they can have fun with their partners and escape from their thoughts.
But since they can’t just be in the moment with their partners all the time, you also have to make efforts to live in the moment with him.
You can do this by encouraging him to focus on you and enjoy the things that are happening without having to think about all the other things that are not happening.
When he sees that you care about what he’s doing, he’ll be able to live in the moment more often.
What should you not say to an overthinker?
If you want to know what not to say when you’re around an overthinker, I’ve found the best lines for you.
You can read these lines to better understand how your overthinking partner feels.
Here they are:
- Stop thinking so much!
- You have to stop overthinking.
- Can you stop thinking such things?
- Can’t you ever decide?
- Make up your mind already!
Overthinkers also don’t like to be criticized. Just like every other human being, he wants to hear nice things about himself, even if it’s just for the sake of knowing that you appreciate him for who he is.
What should you say to an overthinker?
If you want to spark an overthinking guy’s interest, here are some simple tips:
- Compliment his thoughtfulness and his ability to logically analyze things.
- Say that you have a crush on him whenever you feel like it. He will love hearing this because he needs reassurance that you’re interested in him.
- If you feel like a meaningful conversation is needed, then it’s always good to talk about your insecurities, and worries about the relationship. He will also find this conversation useful because he wants to know if he can fix anything.
You love an overthinker. What now?
Loving an overthinker is definitely not easy, but it’s worth it. With the right approach, you can surely find ways to make your relationship work.
Remember that deep down, this guy is sensitive and insecure, and that’s just one of the reasons why he overthinks.
As long as you believe in yourself and are ready to fight for this guy, you can make him realize that he needs to stop thinking so much in order to enjoy life more, especially by your side.
Can a gifted advisor help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to someone with special intuition.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Psychic Source when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into what my future holds, and the confidence to make the right decisions when it comes to love.
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