10 things it means when a man wants to please you more than himself

“Men are just plain selfish.”

If that’s a belief you have, I have some very bad news for you.

Not all men are selfish, and categorizing them all this way can shut you off from some great opportunities.

Here’s a guide to the kind of guy every woman dreams about…

10 things it means when a man wants to please you more than himself

1) He has feelings for you

If you’re wondering what it means when a man wants to please you more than himself, think about it from your point of view.

What situations did you want to make someone happy more than you cared about what they did for you?

These were likely times that you felt strong affection, attachment and devotion to someone.

If he has feelings for you, he’s likely to show it by doing nice things for you and putting your pleasure ahead of his.

In bed, in life and in every way he’ll want to make you his queen.

In every way he can, he’ll want to make your life better and assist you in having pleasurable and pleasant experiences.

Even if his feelings are still mostly in the starting stages, they can make him very eager to do nice things for you and help you out.

Your pleasure and enjoyment is on his mind, because he cares about you and wants to win your heart.

2) You’re allowing him to show you all his sides

One of the best things that happens when you give a man space and respect is that you allow him to show you all his sides.

Some guys have a bit of a rough exterior that takes time to thaw.

But once you get past the outer layer, you’ll find that they have a soft heart underneath.

One of the top things it means when a man wants to please you more than himself is that he’s feeling comfortable enough to open up and show you his generous and caring side.

And that’s definitely a good thing.

As iVillage says:

“A man is many different things at different points in his life—even at different points in the week or day.

“Don’t be afraid to allow him to show you all different parts of himself.

“If you can let go of your expectations and really just try to find out who he is, he will immediately sense it, feel greatly at ease and enjoy talking to you.”

When a guy feels open to showing you his softer side, it also allows the trust in the relationship to deepen and become stronger.

3) He’s sexually turned on by giving you pleasure

As Lachlan Brown discusses, one of the top signs that a guy is into you on a deeper level is that he wants to know what turns you on during sex.

He’s not just in it for his own pleasure.

In various ways, you will notice that he puts your pleasure ahead of his.

But the ironic thing here is that sometimes this isn’t just generosity, it’s that he gets more turned on when you get more turned on.

When it comes to positions, going down on you, caring about whether you climaxed, being respectful of your mood about wanting sex or anything else in the field of intimacy, he’s present and listening.

It’s not that he has no needs or desires of his own: of course he does.

But when he’s willing to compromise and time those in conjunction with yours, it’s because he cares about you and wants more with you than just a quick romp.

It’s basically the ultimate definition of a win-win situation. If he gets more excited the more you get excited, you can expect a nice intimate partnership.

And it’s also a sign that he’s likely to be a generous lover for years to come.

4) He gets joy from giving you joy

One of the best parts of having feelings for someone is that it makes you less selfish.

You get joy from their joy.

One of the biggest things it means when a man wants to please you more than himself is that your joy also touches him.

“For a guy like Tim, being in a relationship fills his life with fun and joy.

“Seeing his girlfriend’s smile or hearing her voice becomes the reward for all of his hard work.

“His relationship reminds him that there’s more to life than the rough times, and he can enjoy himself every day,” writes Dr. Brenda Shoshanna.

Tim sounds like a pretty decent fellow.

And there are more Tims around than you might imagine.

They get joy the more they give joy and they want to create a win-win partnership where their partner doesn’t have to fake happiness.

5) He wants a future with you

There’s good news if a guy is being very generous with you.

One of the clearest things it means when a man wants to please you more than himself is that he wants a future with you

If he didn’t want a future he would just be going with the flow and doing whatever is easiest for him.

When a man goes out of his way to make something work and show you he cares, it’s because he wants to lay the foundation for something more meaningful and long-term.

That’s great if you want the same thing…

When a guy wants to build something with you there are many different signs, but caring about your needs and really listening to what you want and why is definitely way up there.

If he’s doing this then he’s into you and really means it when he cares about your needs and desires.

Want advice specific to your situation?

Pleasing and giving someone what they want and need can be overwhelming.

While this article explores the many things a man does to please someone special, have you considered speaking to a professional relationship coach about the circumstances?

With a relationship coach, you get advice specific to your life and your experiences…

Sure, relationship coaching sounds expensive, but the truth is it’s a lot cheaper and easy to access than you probably think…

I recently reached out to Relationship Hero after reflecting if my partner and I have a future together. They are an online service with highly trained coaches. 

My coach was kind, he took the time to really understand my unique situation, and gave genuinely helpful advice.

If you want to understand his actions better and what it means for you and your relationship, check out Relationship Hero here and see what they can do for you.

6) He takes your relationship seriously

If you’re looking for the most important things it means when a man wants to please you more than himself then this is definitely up there.

His selfless behavior means he takes your relationship seriously.

It’s not just an affair or a fun time for him, it’s a connection that has potential for the long-term.

You’re someone he really cares about, not just someone to pass the time.

Like Stacey Lloyd writes:

“When he shares his true feelings and desires with you, is forthright about his past, and takes the opportunity to confide in you about personal topics and issues, he’s actually showing you just how seriously he takes your relationship.”

Taking a relationship seriously doesn’t mean you can never have fun nor does it mean he’s a control freak.

It just means that for him he really wants to create an environment where he’s truly helping you and needed.

That’s because it triggers his hero instinct.

You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.

I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this revolutionary concept is about three main drivers all men have, deeply ingrained in their DNA.

This is something most women don’t know about.

But once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger this.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel locked in the tower to make him see you as the one.

The truth is, it comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. With only a few small changes in how you approach him, you’ll tap into a part of him no woman has tapped into before.

The easiest way to do this is by checking out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

All of that and more is included in this informative free video, so make sure to check it out if you want to make him yours for good.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

7) He wants more with you than lust

Lust has its place and apart from being one of the seven deadly sins, some people find it pretty nice in their relationships.

But a connection based purely on lust tends to flare up and fizzle out pretty quickly.

That’s why it’s nice to know that there’s more there than just a desire to get it on.

When a man wants to please you more than himself, it means that his lovemaking and romantic interactions with you are about more than just lust.

This is reassuring to know.

It’s great to have some burning lust behind your relationship, but it’s even more wonderful if it has a stronger foundation based on an emotional connection as well.

8) He chooses positions that put you first

In sex when a man wants to please you more than himself he’ll often choose positions that put your pleasure first, such as woman on top.

As David Ley notes, he also cares if you orgasm.

These may seem like basic things but my female friends tell me they are rare.

Far too many men think of sex like some item you get out of a vending machine by kicking and shoving.

They see it as transactional and all about them.

A man who cares about you won’t see it that way.

He’ll care about maximizing your pleasure.

9) He finds one-sided pleasure hollow

One-sided pleasure is arguably better than no pleasure at all.

But there are those who’ve simply grown tired of it and find it not very worthwhile.

One way I would explain my experience of this is with cooking.

I went for years not being very into cooking and only recently got back into it while cooking for my friend and I.

I found that the pleasure I get watching her enjoy the food I make far outweighs my enjoyment when I just eat on my own.

That’s how it is when a man wants to please you more than himself.

Of course he likes to feel good, but he just doesn’t get the same buzz when it’s a one-sided accomplishment.

1o) He’s in love with you

Let’s cut right to the chase and come out with it:

Sometimes a man wants to please you more than himself because he’s in love with you.

His feelings of affection and attraction have taken the plunge and become real love.

He would do anything for you and wants to put you first in every way. This is great, as long as he doesn’t start acting against his own interests or becoming codependent.

As Jillian Kramer writes:

“He puts you first.

“Think: accepting the invite to your friend’s engagement party on the night his favorite team is playing—without so much as a mention of it.”

He’s definitely into you in a big way.

The selfish trap

We all have a limit.

If you’ve reached yours, don’t be afraid to put your foot down.

If you let yourself be a doormat for others then they will rub off all their dirt on you and walk all over you.

The selfish trap is dangerous because it leads some women to think that the best they can hope for or “deserve” is a guy who treats them as an afterthought.

If you think this it can become part of a very sad self-fulfilling prophecy.

So let’s get one thing straight:

Nobody deserves to be an afterthought whose needs and desires don’t matter.

If you’re being treated this way you need to demand more or exit the relationship if no changes start happening.

I’ve been in the same situation where I used to be okay with getting the short end of the stick in relationships. But deep inside, I knew I wasn’t happy. That changed when I found a free Self-Healing Meditation.

This meditation was like a friend reminding me that I deserved better. It helped me see my true value and gave me the courage to demand better treatment from others.

If you’re in the same situation, I’d highly recommend you to give it a try, and start standing up for yourself just like I did.

Click here to access the free Self-Healing Meditation.

On the other hand…

If you’ve been fortunate enough to meet a guy who wants to please you more than himself, you should treasure what you do have.

The issue is that it can be so hard to find someone who doesn’t just seem to be selfish and unaware of others around him.

But how can you create happy relationships with others, if you’re ignoring the most important one; the relationship you have with yourself?

You see, until you work on that one, you’ll never find the happiness you’re looking for.

I learnt about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you some unique tools that put you back at the center of your world.

He also covers some of the major mistakes most of us make in our relationships, mistakes most of us aren’t even aware of.

So why am I recommending Rudá’s life-changing advice?

Well, for a start, Rudá isn’t your average shaman. He’s been through the same ups and downs in love that most of us have experienced. And through his ancient shamanic teachings, coupled with his very modern-day journey, he’s found the solutions.

And that’s what he wants to share with you.

So if you want to make a real change to your relationships, if you want to cultivate love and happiness, start today by checking out his genuine advice.

Click here to watch the free video.

Paul Brian

Paul Brian

I’m a multimedia journalist with experience in print, photography, video and online. My passion is reporting on individuals, faiths, nations and situations that impact us all on the journey of life.

Related articles

Most read articles

Get our articles

The latest Move news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.

By submitting this form, you understand and agree to our Privacy Terms