“I have a gut feeling my ex will come back” – 15 signs your gut is onto something

You’ve been missing your ex lately. Then you start getting this strong feeling in your gut that they want you back.

This is probably not entirely unfounded. Gut feeling exists because our minds are on a subconscious level, noticing things that our conscious minds have completely missed.

In this article, I will list 15 signs that your ex is trying to get back in your life (and that your gut feeling is indeed right).

1) You had a good relationship

It’s very likely for us to get back with an ex if we had a good relationship before things ended. This is especially the case if your break-up was on good terms.

When I say a ‘good relationship’, I mean one where you and your ex had good chemistry and trusted each other a lot. That chemistry isn’t going to just disappear, even when arguments—yes, arguments still exist even in good relationships—and familiarity sets in.

Sometimes you just need some time away from each other to realize just how much you truly love one another, especially if you’re twin flames.

Of course, this isn’t necessarily a guarantee, and it’s very easy to mislead yourself into thinking that because you had it good, you’re definitely going to get back together.

Sometimes that emotional bond might be there, but there’s just no sexual attraction present, in which case you were probably meant to be platonic rather than romantic partners.

2) Your ex stays in touch with you

Few things get you wondering “Do they still love me?” more than having your ex stay in touch after the breakup. In fact, that gut feeling of yours might be because your subconscious is picking up on things that give away your ex’s desire to be with you again… even if you can’t figure it out yourself (yet)!

This is assuming, of course, that your ex isn’t staying in touch just to say stuff like “Hey, I’m now successful in life. I bet you still aren’t!” because if that’s what your SO is doing then you’ll want them on the other side of the world.

And with that assumption in place, take a moment to think about it. If your ex stays in touch, it means that they still care about you. That, and they’re mature enough to not have any lingering pains or blows to the pride from the breakup stop them.

3) Your ex stays in touch with your friends and family

People who are just straight up done with their ex will do their best to cut off all contact with their exes. This often involves staying away from your family and friends.

But if your ex continues to stay in touch with your family even if it’s just on social media, then chances are your breakup wasn’t so bad and they’re trying to preserve something. It might even mean that they want to talk to them so they can get news about you.

Same thing if your ex continues talking with your friends.

Sure, you might have mutual friends from before the relationship and a breakup between the two of you might not be worth ending those friendships over. But if they continue reaching out to your close friends then that might mean that they want to talk to you still.

They might even be befriending your friends to understand you better!

4) They respond when you reach out

There are people who just respond quickly to messages out of habit, regardless of their current relationship or opinion of you. You’re the one who knows your ex’s personality. Try to think about their responses in the context of their personality as you know it.

But if they’re the lazy type but when it is you who reaches out to them, they respond immediately and enthusiastically?

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They’re still into you!

Let’s face it, if they truly hate you or have zero feelings for you, then they’ll just put you in the seen zone, forget about you, or, worse, block you.

How enthusiastic are they?

Do they try to engage in idle chatter or just answer your questions?

Pay very close attention. They might even be manifesting that you’d reach out to them that’s why they’re so psyched that they got your messages!

5) Your ex keeps hanging around your usual haunts

Do you often see your ex hanging around spots that are—or were—important to the two of you?

It could be that street corner that the two of you used to meet up all the time, or at the café that you love visiting, or it could be that beach where one magical night the two of you became a thing.

If your answer is yes, then it’s a sign your ex wants you back!

Your ex might hang around places that meant something to you trying to relive those magical moments when the two of you are together, and they might be visiting your favorite places hoping that you’ll notice them and begin talking.

Of course, if your ex had been hanging around these same spots since before you two were a thing anyways, then you should probably take this pointer with a pinch of salt.

6) You’ve been on and off for a while now

If you and your ex have been in an on-and-off relationship for a while, it’s quite likely that this breakup might be just another phase.

Your subconscious might even be piecing together the subtle signs that you’re going to be getting back together again soon. And when those signs start showing up, you’ll get that feeling in your gut.

Every time you get back together, you’ll probably be hoping that this time will be forever, but hold on there. Give it some thought.

Why did the two of you keep breaking up anyways?

Were there any big issues between the two of you that were left unresolved?

Did any of you work on those issues in your time apart?

As painful as it may be, if nothing has changed, then you’re probably going to break up again. It’s toxic. You know what they say about insanity—it’s doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for a different outcome.

And in this case, if you keep on doing the exact same thing while thinking you’re going to “do it right this time” then you’re just setting yourself up for more heartbreak.

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Whether or not your breakup is final or a temporary ‘break’, try to work on your issues with your partner. An on-off relationship just isn’t that healthy for either of you.

7) They can’t stop talking about you

You might overhear it yourself, or you might hear it through the grapevine. Your ex just can’t stop talking about you, whether it is to complain about you or to praise you.

When this happens, it means you’re always on your ex’s mind. And, yes, even if what they’re doing is complaining about you.

You see, if you’re really over someone, you don’t even bother talking about the bad stuff.

I’ve seen friends go through painful breakups complaining about how bad their ex was only to shut up and go back to the said ex. Complaining can be a way for them to distract themselves from the hurt.

You’ll want to pay attention to what is actually being said though.

If your ex has only complaints and absolutely no praise to counteract those complaints, you might want to be concerned of being the target of a smear campaign.

Now, if the breakup was on good terms, your ex probably won’t be complaining that much about you, and instead, talk praises about you. They might not even realize how obvious they are in doing this.

8) You’re their sunshine

You might think you’re imagining it, but you swear they seem much happier when you’re around.

They might seem to frown less when you’re there in person, or they might sound a bit more excitable when you’re in the same voice call. Simply put, you’re the sunshine that chases their clouds away.

It might be obvious enough for you and everyone else to notice, but if it’s consistent enough your instincts are going to kick in and you’ll just know your ex wants you back.

And not only that, it’s hard to fake!

So if you ever notice that your ex’s mood consistently brightens up when you’re around, that means your ex genuinely still loves you.

But of course, there is that possibility that they might just really like you as a person and nothing more.

It’s all in the details and the frequency. Hang out around them more to know for sure.

9) They haven’t found someone new

Your ex hasn’t had a partner in a while. It could be that they straight up haven’t tried looking for someone new ever since you left them, but it could also be that they tried but failed to find a good match.

There are many reasons why this could happen, of course, but things like these trigger that gut feeling for a good reason.

Maybe your ex is keeping themselves single in hopes that they will eventually get back with you. Or they probably found their true love in you, and simply couldn’t find that same feeling with someone else no matter how hard they try.

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You raised the bar too high for them.

10) They call you when they’re drunk or stressed

Alcohol does an amazing job at loosening our inhibitions, making us do things without thinking twice.

This is not usually a good thing, but if you ever get random, drunken calls from your ex, if they still hold any feelings for you at all they might end up sobbing or saying they miss you.

Exhaustion and stress can also loosen lips, even if less effective than alcohol.

And yes, hearing your ex say “I miss you!” even when they’re not thinking straight can make your gut go ‘I knew it, they truly do still love me!’ but hold your horses.

They’re not thinking straight. That alone means you shouldn’t take their words at face value. Even if they do mean it, they might not necessarily want to get back with you. At least not yet.

Getting back in a relationship is a big thing and we know it’s not all feelings. But still…at least now you know how they feel.

More than anything else, you should simply take this instead as something you can hold close to your heart to reassure yourself with.

11) You see them working on their issues

Breakups don’t always happen out of nowhere. There are usually reasons behind them, from small things like “You never water the garden!” that just keep on adding up until they are no longer tolerable, to bigger things like “You cheated on me with your neighbor!

Now, while it’s going to be hard to find a reason why it’s a good idea to get back with someone who cheated on you, it’s another matter entirely if the reasons are far less severe.

For example, if one of the things that ended your relationship was the fact that they don’t care about the climate crisis, it would definitely be a positive sign to see your ex trying to eat less beef and turn off the air conditioning. They might even begin watering the garden, too.

While people can be motivated to better themselves for a myriad other reasons, you might have to trust your gut if those changes seem to coincide too strongly with the things that used to be a problem with the two of you.

12) They get jealous and possessive when you’re with others

You’d catch them acting more forward and bold when they see that you’ve been around—or worse, dating—other people.

They might sulk and pout, or they might get a bit mad. It’s almost as if you’re still together.

Perhaps, that is exactly what it’s like for them. To a certain degree, the reality of your breakup still hasn’t truly hit them. They might think you’re just on a “ pseudo breakup” and will get back together when you’re ready.

The possibility of losing you to someone else frightens them and brings out that jealousy and possessiveness about them, and they might just realize just how much they took you for granted.

But before you celebrate, this kind of behavior is something that can be actually harmful, even if you wanted to be back in their arms again anyways.

It can easily mean that your ex can’t deal with jealousy well. Pay attention to how mature your ex actually is, because if they turn out to be quite immature, you might have to look for someone else for the sake of your own sanity.

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But if they’re just pouting without harming you or anyone, then be comforted by the fact that your ex still has feelings for you. 100 percent!

It’s true, we don’t know what we’ve got til it’s gone. And for them, it can be totally gone, there’ll be no turning back, once you start kissing someone else.

13) They haven’t come to collect their stuff or return yours

It’s been a while since you have broken up, but they still haven’t come to return your stuff or claim theirs.

You might have called them about it at some point, but they always make excuses. Or you have been trying to return their things, but they do their best to stall you.

Aside from the obvious reasons that they’re just plain lazy, there are other more relevant reasons why they might be doing this.

One of them is that they want you to keep calling or dropping by because they just miss you that much. It might be really hard for them to let go of all the good memories associated with those items and want to have a reminder of you with them.

Or it can be the other way around and they want you to have something to remember them by.

Another is that they want to show you that they just can’t let go of you so easily. That they have not decided to remove you from their life and are keeping the door open for you to return at any time.

Of course, if you do request that they return your items, they must agree. If they refuse for no real reason than to just refuse, they’re basically stealing from you and holding your property hostage. You don’t want someone like that, no matter how romantic it might sound.

14) They keep finding reasons to get in touch

How’s the weather?

How you doin’?

Heyyyy….

These might be awfully boring but it also serves as a good indicator of how desperate someone is at trying to connect with you.

And if they’re saying something this boring, then their desperation has exceeded their ability to conceive of an interesting topic to talk about.

In short, they want to talk to you. Badly. They miss you.

As boring as these ‘topics’ might be, it might help both of you to humor your ex and try to maintain a conversation with them anyways.

You might just end up with a topic that is actually interesting, and before you know it you’re chatting until your throats are sore and dry.

15) They admit their mistakes

Humans are, as a rule of thumb, egoistic creatures. And the ego does not like to be hurt.

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Admitting that one has made a mistake is a massive blow to the ego.

Humans also make a lot of mistakes, and those mistakes can easily destroy a relationship.

If your ex ever admits to the mistakes they have done in the course of your relationship—which can include the breakup itself—then take a moment to admire just how massive a pill that must have been for them to swallow.

They’re willing to suppress their own ego for your sake, and that can’t be easy.

Your ex knows that in order to have a fresh start, one that has a better foundation this time, they have to repent for their mistakes and ask for a genuine apology.

You might say to yourself “too little, too late,” but it’s still nonetheless admirable that they even bothered. Not that many are willing to admit fault. You must be truly special that he’s willing to get his shit together and admit his mistakes.

Besides, if you do want to be with them again someday, you might as well throw them a bone and accept their admission and try to see if they’re willing to get help so that they’re not going to make those mistakes again.

Conclusion

How many of these signs do you see in your ex?

Of course, you’re wise enough not to take your gut feeling as a be-all-end-all but if your ex exhibits at least half of these signs, you can be almost sure that they want you back.

If you want to know for sure, go ahead and throw a clear sign their way and see if they respond. Ask them for coffee and have a clear conversation. You’re both adults and you don’t want to waste time.

It’s always a good idea to be proactive and clear rather than to build something in our heads based on how we interpret their actions.

If you both want to get back together, ask yourselves how you can prevent the same problems again.

If one of you just wants friendship, then it’s time to set clear boundaries with your ex to prevent further heartbreak.

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