Friends with benefits relationships are on the rise.
But sometimes, it can get a little confusing as to what you should expect from such a relationship.
Do friends with benefits talk every day?
I’ll tell you this and 10 other rules FWB follow to make their relationship work!
Do friends with benefits talk every day?
Let’s start with your biggest question: do friends with benefits talk every day?
To be honest, it completely depends on the relationship! Some do, but only if they also did that before they became FWB and were just friends!
You see, that’s actually already the first rule to follow: don’t speak to your FWB more than you did when you were friends.
The thing is, if you speak to them a lot now, you could be developing feelings for them.
If you do that, it defeats the whole purpose of having a friend with benefits. You are together in order to have sex, that’s it.
That’s why it’s so important to follow this rule!
Don’t speak to your friends with benefits more than you did when you were just friends. It will save you a lot of heartache in the future!
1) Don’t cuddle
This is the most important rule.
Sure, you can cuddle with your friend with benefits, but don’t expect it to mean anything.
Trust me, sometimes it’s a lot easier to just skip the cuddles altogether.
If you start cuddling before you’ve established boundaries, it’ll be hard to define them later on in the relationship.
Plus, cuddling releases hormones in the brain that will make you fall in love with someone!
So make sure there are boundaries established early on or else things will get complicated fast!
My word of advice? Avoid the cuddling altogether.
You see, if you want someone to cuddle, then try to look for an actual relationship, not a friend with benefits.
Your friend with benefits is for being intimate and having sex, once you throw cuddling into the mix, you’re almost definitely gonna catch feelings.
In the meantime, cuddle with your normal friends.
I can almost guarantee you, that if you start cuddling with your FWB, one of you will fall in love with the other!
So, just avoid it altogether.
2) Don’t expect anything
Another important rule to follow if you want to have a successful friend with a benefits relationship is not to expect anything from it, especially not love.
I know, I know, that’s easier said than done!
But you need to be aware of this.
This person is here to have sex with you, but that’s it.
If you start expecting love from your FWB, then things will get complicated fast!
You’ll start getting jealous and feel like something is wrong if they’re not talking to you all day or every day. And that’s not good for the FWB relationship!
Trust me, if you are in an FWB relationship, then you can’t have any expectations. Those are a guarantee for heartache.
So, if you know that a part of you wants more from this person, do yourself and them a favor and don’t be FWB with them.
3) Talk to someone about your feelings
While the points in this article will help you deal with friends with benefits relationships, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
The thing is, sometimes it really helps to get tailored advice for what you are facing.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice tailored to the specific issues you’re facing in your love life.
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like friends with benefits.
They’re popular because they genuinely help people solve problems.
Why do I recommend them?
Well, after going through difficulties in my own love life, I reached out to them a few months ago.
After feeling helpless for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing.
I was blown away by how genuine, understanding, and professional they were.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice specific to your situation.
4) Don’t see each other too often
It’s key not to see each other too often.
If you do, it will be hard to keep yourself from developing feelings for your partner.
I mean think about it: when you spend almost every day with someone, it’s almost inevitable that you will start to like them, right?
And that’s not a good thing!
If you see each other too often, you’ll start to expect more from the relationship than it can offer.
Don’t get attached! This is probably the hardest rule to follow in a friend with benefits relationship: don’t get attached!
I know this sounds obvious, but it’s really important that you don’t get attached.
Why? Because if your partner does not feel the same about you as you do about them, then things will get complicated fast!
And that’s definitely not what either of you wants.
5) Never stay the night
Most FWB relationships are casual and not serious.
If you’re staying the night, this is an indication that your relationship may be more serious than it should be.
Plus, it can lead to there being much more drama involved in the scenario.
Think about it: staying the night usually means falling asleep together, perhaps cuddling, spending the morning together, and maybe even having breakfast!
Needless to say, these are all things couples do, not friends with benefits!
The whole point of being in this type of relationship was to not do couple things, right? You are together so that you can have sex and keep things casual.
So why would you jeopardize that by staying the night?
But wait, that’s not all!
On top of that, there’s also the fact that they might have roommates who, when they see you stay the night, will assume you are a couple!
So, the bottom line is that if you do stay the night, then you run the risk of ruining a good thing.
6) If one of you develops feelings, you have to say it
One of the rules FWB follow is to have an open discussion about feelings.
It’s important to talk about feelings and not let them build up.
This doesn’t only apply if one of you develops feelings for the other, but also if one of you wants to take things further.
If either one has different expectations or intentions than what was originally agreed on, that needs to be addressed.
Ideally, this should be done before things get too heated physically and a rift starts to form.
Why is this so important?
Well, once one of you develops feelings for the other, the entire FWB dynamic is off.
All of a sudden, one of you expects a relationship and will face extreme heartache when that doesn’t happen.
The other person might be oblivious to their feelings and unintentionally hurt their partner even more by talking to other people, for example.
It’s best to have a talk before either of you develops feelings for the other.
Just make sure that you don’t wait too long because once you do, things will get complicated very fast.
Although it might be painful, my advice is to end an FWB relationship as soon as one of you develops feelings (unless you both have feelings for one another, of course).
The thing is when you keep it going, things are unlikely to change and all that will do is bring heartache and pain into your life.
7) If one of you gets jealous, you need to be honest
In a friends with benefits relationship, there is no reason to be jealous as you aren’t exclusive.
If one of you gets jealous, though, it’s important that you’re honest.
Don’t pretend that you’re not or make excuses as to why you feel the way you do.
This goes hand in hand with the previous point: once you get jealous, you are already developing some feelings.
And if you have feelings for someone, you need to talk about it.
You don’t want to end up regretting your actions or feeling ashamed of your jealousy, so be honest with yourself and with your partner.
It’s only fair that you let your FWB know how you feel.
Then you can decide together if you should end things or if it’s okay to keep going.
You see, if you keep quiet about your feelings, you will only hurt yourself further down the line.
If you’re both on the same page, though, an FWB relationship can be a lot of fun.
You don’t have to hide your feelings or pretend that you don’t care about each other.
Just be honest and talk about what the other person means to you and how you feel about them.
8) Don’t completely avoid the idea of meeting someone else
If you’re in a friend with benefits relationship, it’s hard to know what your expectations should be.
Usually, FWB relationships don’t develop into anything further, so a good tip is to not avoid the idea of meeting someone else completely.
Chances are you aren’t exclusive while with your FWB, so there is nothing against dating someone else.
Think about it: what if the love of your life approaches you but you don’t even give them a chance because of your FWB relationship? That would be terrible, right?
So: don’t avoid the idea of meeting other people.
But you don’t have to completely ditch your FWB either.
If you both agree that it’s okay to date other people, you can still be friends with benefits.
Just make sure that you’re upfront about it.
The last thing you want is to tell your FWB that you’re dating someone and then have them feel hurt or betrayed when they find out the truth.
Simply put, communicate openly with your FWB and then you can also date other people when the opportunity arises.
9) Don’t get mad when the other person is unavailable
A lot of people get mad when the other person is unavailable for them.
But, remember that it doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk to you.
It may just be that they are in the middle of something important like class or work.
When someone is in a friend with benefits relationship, it’s not always about being available every day.
It’s not your responsibility to make them feel better about themselves and their life if they’re having a bad day.
If you’re an emotional support system, then why are you in a friend with benefits relationship and not in a proper relationship?
If you find yourself getting angry with the other person because they’re not available all the time, then this isn’t the right type of relationship for you.
You see, once you get hurt by their unavailability, that’s a sign that you are developing feelings.
The truth is, your FWB doesn’t owe you anything, they aren’t your partner!
If you start to feel angry and resentful, then it’s time to pack it in.
It’s not worth your time if this person isn’t showing you the respect that you deserve and you expect more from them.
Then friends with benefits probably weren’t the right path for you in the first place.
You must be open about your feelings for the other person.
10) Don’t date
This is number one on the list and for good reason.
Some people say they don’t want to date their friends with benefits (FWBs) because they enjoy the freedom that comes with an FWB relationship.
An FWB relationship is casual and doesn’t have any pressure to be exclusive.
If you’re not interested in being more than friends with a person who wants more from you, then make sure that’s clear from the start.
For example, tell them: “I’m not looking for anything serious at this point.”
Your partner may respect what you’re saying and agree to keep things casual.
But if he or she does want something more serious and feels hurt when you refuse to go along with it, make sure your partner knows about your feelings before entering into an FWB relationship together.
This way, both of you are on the same page and know what each other expects from this type of arrangement.
You see, once you start dating your FWB, that’s when you are officially a couple, no doubt about it.
So, if either of you wants to go on dates, then you need to be aware of the fact that an FWB relationship might not be the right course of action for you two.
What does that mean?
Well, friends with benefits don’t go out for dinner, grab a coffee, or see a movie together.
They don’t exchange presents or spend the night at each other’s place overnight.
And they certainly don’t use pet names for each other.
If you want to be in a friends with benefits relationship, you must be clear about it from the start.
This is a person you sleep with, nothing else.
If you want more from this connection, you have to reevaluate the terms of your relationship.
11) Always make sure to stay protected
A big rule for FWBs is to be protected.
This means using a form of contraception and getting tested regularly.
This is because both parties may also have other sexual partners, which can lead to STDs.
Sure, you can talk about being exclusive, but unless you are 100% sure that you are the only sexual partner of your FWB, don’t run the risk of catching an STD.
You see, when people are in an FWB relationship, they are more likely to be lenient when it comes to being exclusive, and the last thing you want is to catch something from them.
Maybe it’s not for you
Before you get into an FWB relationship, make sure that this is something you really want.
You see, sex is intimate, and it’s very hard to not fall in love with someone who you sleep with on a regular basis, especially when you don’t dislike them.
Sure, some of these relationships turn into actual couples further down the line, but most of them just break apart because one of them caught feelings.
So, really ask yourself if this is something you want to do.
If there is just a tiny part of you that thinks “Oh maybe the sex will make them want to be with me”, then do yourself a favor and move on!
Friends with benefits can be a really fun dynamic, but one that usually doesn’t last very long.
Make sure to watch out for your own feelings and take care!
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