Are you thinking about getting involved with a highly sensitive person (HSP)? Maybe you’re considering whether you’d make a good enough partner or not?
If so, this is the article for you. As an HSP myself, I’ve had my fair share of relationships and can confidently say that the list below includes all the qualities that make the best partner for a highly sensitive person.
Let’s jump straight in:
1) Someone genuine and authentic
Here’s the thing, HSPs have a fantastic radar for authenticity. We don’t do superficial relationships. We don’t enjoy meaningless conversations.
What an HSP really wants in a partner is someone who is 100% themselves. Someone we can vibe with and have a real, genuine connection.
Forget discussing what you had for dinner last night – we want to know what your fears are, your dreams for the future, what makes you who you are.
These are the types of conversations that help us fall in love and feel like we’re building an honest relationship.
Small talk might be okay from time to time, but if you’re not willing to let your guard down and reveal your vulnerabilities, we’re probably not going to consider you as a serious partner.
2) A partner who takes the time to understand HSPs and their needs
The truth is, understanding is essential in all relationships.
But for an HSP, having a partner who actually wants to learn and understand them makes all the difference.
Now, we’re not saying you need to spend hours researching highly sensitive people, but finding out what works for us and what doesn’t greatly increases the chances of a happier relationship!
Some of the most important things a partner of an HSP needs to understand are:
- We get emotionally overwhelmed easily, and will need time alone to recharge our batteries – it’s nothing personal
- We get hangry! Long periods without food can make us irritable, tired, and generally a little unpleasant to be around (so having snacks on hand is always a good idea)
- We probably need a lot more sleep than you, so be prepared to say goodnight earlier than expected!
All of the above is easily managed as long as both the HSP and their partner are aware of their differences. As mentioned, having snacks on hand or planning to make sure your HSP gets enough rest can save a lot of stress and tension.
And by taking the time to understand, you’ll get to know the do’s and don’ts of dating a highly sensitive person – valuable information!
3) Honesty all the way
This is another quality that makes a great partner in any type of relationship.
But when it comes to HSPs, we need someone who we can trust. I, like many others, tend to overthink and if I know someone isn’t being straight up with me, the alarm bells start ringing.
Even if you tell a white lie, there’s a good chance we’ll pick up on it and it won’t bode well for you or the relationship.
So, it goes without saying, an honest partner makes the best partner for a highly sensitive person!
4) Someone with a great sense of humor
Life is better when there’s laughter in the mix.
And the same goes for in relationships. For many HSPs, laughter is the best way to unwind and relax. Especially if they’re suffering from a stressful or emotional situation.
So if you’re planning on getting into a relationship with an HSP, it’s a good idea to test the waters and see if your sense of humor is on par with theirs.
5) Patience is essential
Now, being the partner of an HSP is going to require patience.
There’ll be times where your HSP simply isn’t feeling up to doing something you already had planned (maybe they’ve had an overwhelmingly stressful week) and you’ll have to cancel at the last minute.
Or, they might suffer from anxiety, and find certain environments or situations triggering.
So, having patience will go a long way, not only in understanding the ins and outs of your HSP but also in how to best support them when they need it.
And the truth is:
If you’re able to remain calm and patient in stressful situations, your HSP will love you for it. At the end of the day, all anyone wants is someone who gives them the space to be themselves without judgment or negativity.
But how can you create happy relationships with others, if you’re ignoring the most important one; the relationship you have with yourself?
You see, until you work on that one, you’ll never find the happiness you’re looking for.
I learnt about this from the shaman Rudá Iandê. In his free video on cultivating healthy relationships, he gives you some unique tools that put you back at the center of your world.
He also covers some of the major mistakes most of us make in our relationships, mistakes most of us aren’t even aware of.
So why am I recommending Rudá’s life-changing advice?
Well, for a start, Rudá isn’t your average shaman. He’s been through the same ups and downs in love that most of us have experienced. And through his ancient shamanic teachings, coupled with his very modern-day journey, he’s found the solutions.
And that’s what he wants to share with you.
So if you want to make a real change to your relationships, if you want to cultivate love and happiness, start today by checking out his genuine advice.
6) A partner who is reliable and consistent
If there’s one thing that makes a good partner for a highly sensitive person, it’s being consistent.
We tend to like routine. We like stability. We want a partner who we know we can rely on if needed (and vice versa, of course).
But I don’t just mean being consistent in daily activities and routines (although that is important too). No, I mean within the relationship.
If we’re to become deeply involved with someone, we need to see that the relationship is steadily progressing.
A partner who changes their mind or acts hot and cold will put us on edge, and it’ll get to a point where we’ve had enough of being messed around emotionally.
So if you’re thinking of taking things to the next level with an HSP, be prepared to show up and be consistent. Don’t shy away from building on the relationship and letting your HSP know that you’re investing in the relationship.
7) Someone who respects boundaries
Boundaries are important for everyone, but for HSPs they can be the difference between a happy relationship and a miserable one.
Because boundaries layout how we expect to be treated. They’re a way of saying, “This is what I’m comfortable with, and this is what I won’t tolerate”.
And every relationship needs them.
But the thing is, it’s important for an HSP to feel understood and respected when they enforce their boundaries. And it’s equally important that their partner does the same.
This protects both in the relationship and fosters respect.
So what might a boundary for an HSP look like?
A common example from my own experience is:
My partner: “Are you free this evening? We haven’t seen each other all week, let’s meet up”.
Me: “I’d love to see you, but I’ve had a really long day and if I want to make the most of our weekend together, I’d prefer to stay home alone tonight”.
Now, a great partner for a highly sensitive person would understand my need to stay home and accept that this is a boundary I’m setting because I want to protect my mental and physical health.
The wrong response would be for them to try and convince me to come out, or even worse, become angry because I refuse to see them.
And when it comes to boundaries, an HSP needs someone who will not only respect them but also honor and respect their own boundaries.
Only then can you have a healthy, happy relationship.
8) Consideration is key
HSPs generally tend to be empaths too, so we’re fairly used to understanding how other people feel and often, acting to support or help that person feel better.
So when someone shows a little consideration and kindness to us, trust me, we appreciate it!
Especially when it comes to our relationships. For example, my partner might make my favorite meal when he knows I’ve had a tough day.
Or, he’ll take care of things such as tidying the house or doing the grocery shopping if he sees I’m suffering from fatigue.
They’re not grand gestures, but they are considerate and very much appreciated.
So while I’d advocate consideration for all relationships, when it comes to HSP, having a caring partner is the cherry on top of the cake.
9) Someone who looks for solutions rather than escape routes
Now, I’ve already mentioned how stability is important for HSPs in a relationship.
And to achieve stability, the partner of an HSP needs to stick around to build up trust and show their commitment to the relationship.
So if you’re the type of person who thinks about breaking up at the first sign of conflict in the relationship, you probably won’t make the best partner for a highly sensitive person.
The same goes for if you:
- Use toxic manipulative methods to get what you want in the relationship
- Ignore your HSP when you’re angry or upset
- Tend to be extremely negative during arguments
And when it comes to reconciling after an argument?
Your HSP is going to want to see that you make an effort. That doesn’t mean you have to come groveling or begging for their forgiveness, but showing that you care and want to resolve the issues will go a long way.
Because the truth is, no one enjoys fighting with their SO. But for an HSP, it can feel like an emotional rollercoaster that flips their world upside down.
So the sooner you can find ways to communicate and argue healthily, the better. And the sooner you reconcile after an argument, the stronger the relationship will be!
10) A partner who listens
A lot of people make the mistake of listening without actually taking in what the other person is saying.
But if you want to be the best partner for a highly sensitive person, you’re going to have to learn the art of active listening.
So how can you do that?
According to MindTools, this is the best way to start actively listening:
- Give your partner your full attention (turn off your phone or the TV)
- Actively show you’re listening by nodding, repeating back what your partner has said, or with words of encouragement
- Paraphrase back what your partner says, to confirm you’ve understood their point
- Avoid interrupting them at all costs, even if it’s to agree with their point (as this can distract both you and the speaker)
- Respond respectfully and address all and any points made by your partner
You see, when you actively listen, not only do you take in more information, but you have a better chance of understanding what your partner is trying to tell you.
And importantly, actively listening reduces the chance of misunderstandings occurring – and we all know often a tiny misunderstanding can lead the conversation into an argument!
11) Someone who is emotionally mature and stable
Are you wild and carefree with your emotions?
Do you often offload or project your emotions onto others?
If so, you’re probably not the best match for an HSP. We need a partner who has some level of emotional stability and maturity.
Because the reality is, we have a hard enough time managing our own emotions. The last thing we need or want is a partner who lets theirs run wild.
But don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean you can’t display your emotions. When you’re sad, be sad. If you’re angry, be angry.
Just don’t project your negative emotions on us. Your mood will affect your partner a lot, so while you shouldn’t try to hide it, you should try to keep it under control.
And if you’re really having a bad day, simply communicate that clearly and let your partner know they aren’t at fault (unless they are, but that’s a whole different story!).
If you don’t, your HSP is likely to spend the rest of the day and night wondering what they’ve done wrong and ruminating over the possible causes and consequences.
12) A partner who values compromise and fairness
When looking for the best partner, all of us want someone who can compromise.
It’s an essential part of any healthy relationship. And it’s no different when it comes to dating an HSP.
If anything, we need someone fair and willing to compromise, especially if we’re suffering from anxiety, tiredness, or emotional overwhelm.
And of course, it’s a two-way street.
If I’m not in the mood to go out with my partner one day, rather than leave him feeling left out and disappointed, we’ll negotiate a different day to do it.
That way, we both get what we want and there are no hard feelings.
Equally, if he takes care of me at the end of a long day, I’ll make sure to do the same in return.
This act of giving and taking, and of reaching mutual agreements, help strengthen a relationship. It creates a team.
And ultimately, that’s what makes the best partner for a highly sensitive person; someone who wants to be on the same team.
13) Someone with empathy
This might be an obvious quality to look for in a partner, but as most HSPs are empaths, it’s a nice bonus when we find someone who shares the same traits as us.
I’ve had partners in the past who lacked a lot of empathy, and it didn’t sit well with me.
And that’s the thing, HSPs understand that not everyone feels as deeply as they do, but a complete lack of empathy and compassion can be very off-putting.
When we experience something emotionally upsetting, we want a partner who can at least empathize and understand why we feel the way we do.
Not to mention, showing empathy towards others is an endearing and attractive trait to have. I’m sure most HSPs and non-HSPs would agree that it’s a desirable quality to find in a partner!
The bottom line
Being the best partner for a highly sensitive person isn’t any harder than being a great partner for a non-HSP.
As you can see, most of the points are relevant for all types of relationships; compassion, understanding, respect, and healthy boundaries.
But at the heart of it all, what any HSP wants and craves from a partner is genuine, unconditional love. A partner who’ll stand by them during their lows, and celebrate with them during the highs.
And in return?
You’ll have the most caring person as part of your team. Because when an HSP is loved right, there are no limits to how much they’ll pour back into the relationship!
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